Catering for vegetarians at a house-warming party, do I need to provide separate food?

[IslandCanary]

Everyone is bringing a dish, so far most of these contain meat/fish (apart from the salad) as we're doing tapas-style.

One couple have just told me they are vegetarian.

Do I need to ask everyone to bring vegetarian dishes instead? Or is it ok to just provide some salad/rice and let them bring a dish they can eat? I don't want them to feel excluded.

I find most vegetarian food bland and unpleasant and would rather have meat/fish dishes to cater for the majority (I'm planning to make spicy chicken wings, someone else is bringing meatballs, another is bringing battered tempura prawns, crispy squid, vegetable risotto etc.

If I need to provide more veggie options does anyone have any ideas?

some vegetarians would prefer to ban the omnivores from eating any non-meat dishes

Where you may have misunderstood is that vegetarians get annoyed when a buffet is a free-for-all, and omnivores take so much of the non-meat dishes that there's little or nothing left for vegetarians. So lots of people suggested letting the vegetarians choose first, or labelling food for vegetarians (more appropriate for training course of conferences) or making much more vegetarian food that's you might think you need. So lots of useful suggestions for catering for a mixed group.

The vast vast amount of vegetarians on this thread said

1. There should be enough veggie dishes for all, with extra to take into account thats all some people will eat

They then said that if this cant be/isnt done then maybe

1. Let the veggies go to the buffet first

Or

1. Keep the veggie food to one side

If we are making bollocks up which some posters here appear to be doing then a load of meateaters have said...fuck you and your food choices, veggie food is shit and is always left at parties

See, i can make up stuff as well

And to be fair its caterers not hosts that seem to be the problem with buffets, there is never enough food at weddings and conferences...be it meat or otherwise

Yes I did. I still think the better solution is 'There should be more non-meat foods served, with plenty for all'. I realise that this wouldn't be a very practical suggestion to make on the spot at a party when the food had already been made. But then I doubt most people would actually suggest to their host at the party 'I should go first - I'm a vegetarian! ' either.

My experience of catering for vegetarians (particularly my FIL who's just been staying with us for a few days) is that they are often very keen 'not to be a bother' and don't want to put people to the effort of making separate things.

I'm always a bit surprised that they think it would be a bother for an omnivore to make dishes without meat in. I guess there must be more old-fashioned 'if it hasn't got meat in, it's not proper food' types still around than I think, judging by the bad experiences some veggies seem to have had.

If it really does happen that often at buffet-type meals, then I'd definitely take plenty of my own food with me if I were a veggie (even though you really shouldn't have to if you have a decent host who knows your requirements).

I do sympathise - I am on a very low fat diet atm because I have gallstones. There is very little I can eat on any menu and I went to a buffet recently where there was literally nothing I could eat. Not one thing.

I just don't see why catering properly for vegetarians HAS to mean that non-vegetarians don't get to eat the full range of available dishes. It's just a question of getting your quantities right.

veggie food is shit and is always left at parties

You didn't make this up, rufus.

But the poster who said it shall remain nameless - woof!

Depends. If they are the type of vegetarians who will cater for my carnivore tastes when I'm at their place, yes. If they don't/won't then no.

Completely agree merciful

suburban

I wouldnt mind but if it was always left at parties then vegetarians wouldnt be complaining about there being nothing to eat

Rufus

Depends. If they are the type of vegetarians who will cater for my carnivore tastes when I'm at their place, yes. If they don't/won't then no.

This point has already been extensively discussed on this and similar threads, falange. Unless you're the kind of person who thinks a meal isn't a meal unless it contains meat, it would be completely unreasonable to ask a vegetarian to cook meat for you.

And what's also been discussed on here is that unless you eat nothing but meat, you're an omnivore, not a carnivore.

The difference is significant to a vegetarian, though - surely you can see that?

Yes of course. I just find it odd that non-meat food at a buffet (e.g. a Greek salad, a cheese and onion quiche etc) would be intended only to be eaten by vegetarians, when these are dishes that would often be served at a buffet whether there were any vegetarians or not. Again, it is purely a question of quantity, not a question of who should be allowed to eat what. Why exclude the majority of guests from eating dishes they would enjoy, rather than simply providing enough for all in the first place?

If a host is ignorant/uncaring enough to fail to provide enough non-meat foods for all guests even though there are vegetarians invited, they are hardly likely to be the kind of hosts to say 'Right - buffet's open, vegetarians first!' either, are they?

I agree with you, merciful. It would be weird for any omnivore not to eat food with no meat or fish in it and I wouldn't expect them to.

Phew. That's all I was trying to say all along really. People should just provide plenty of non-meat dishes so everyone can have some. Not try to stop one group of people from eating dishes they like just because the other group need to be able to eat them too.

If they are the type of vegetarians who will cater for my carnivore tastes when I'm at their place, yes
I cook meat for my omnivorous friends (my vegetarianism is not rooted in any visceral disgust of flesh). In fact, I am happy to do so, because I am assured that, as they are probably going to eat (for example) a steak anyway, I can at least make sure that steak is from a local, as-happy-and-cuddled-as-it-can-be cow. Of course, that be part of their steak buying process anyway, but I won't know that.

Plus, I'm more a functional than exciting cook, and nobody is going to be persuaded to vegetarianism by my culinary skills

I don't think I could trust myself to cook meat after decades of not doing so. And I'd be surprised if anyone would want to eat meat cooked by someone who doesn't remember the rules

I like how this thread has stayed, on the whole, quite civilised.

I wouldn't care whether I were served veggie or non-veggie food at a vegetarian friend's house. It's all food as far as I'm concerned! I wouldn't for one minute want a friend to feel obliged to cook meat if they were uncomfortable with it. What kind of person would expect that of a friend?!

Although I am an omnivore, I find aggressively anti-vegetarian people much more offensive than aggressively anti-meat vegetarians. Vegetarians have reasons for being veggie, whether you agree with them or not.. The anti-vegetarians have no reason to mock or complain about vegetarianism other than wilful ignorance or exaggeration of the supposed inconvenience caused by vegetarians.

Great post Tehlu

I realise I sound a bit like I've gone from anti to pro veggie on this thread, but the only reason I posted in the first place was that I was so appalled at the idea of being denied the lovely veggie dishes at a buffet just because I also eat meat! I am probably exactly the sort of infuriating omnivore that turns up and tucks into your veggie food. But I consider it the host's fault for not providing enough of it, not my fault for having broad tastes .

Thanks Abel - I've probably just ruined it by admitting to being a veggie-buffet-dish-eater though

Yes, and I'm Roussette and I'm a pie eater. Any pie. Meat or veggie. Bring on the pies

Remarkably civilised thread given it has in the past been quite an emotive subject!

No problem Tehlu, like I said, it is no biggie for me to skip a meal, we all eat too much in the West anyway. So gorge away, if you want - you are right, it is completely unfair to have to consider others when you want to feed your face.

No problem Tehlu, like I said, it is no biggie for me to skip a meal, we all eat too much in the West anyway. So gorge away, if you want - you are right, it is completely unfair to have to consider others when you want to feed your face
I think you are being genuine but I really want this to be the most amazingly PA message on the whole thread

Mostly civilised, Roussette but with a few exceptions eh?
Holier-than-thou, offensive and passive aggressive all in one post whatthe - that's good going. It's lucky that the relatively few parties and buffets I attend (I don't get out much) tend to have more civilised hosts who provide a good range of food then, isn't it? Oh except the most recent one at the sports club my dc attend (where, as I said, I wasn't able to eat anything at all). I strongly doubt I have ever been responsible for starving a vegetarian even temporarily. And I provide for them most happily and generously when I am the host.

Glad you liked it - believe me, the PA was fully intended and pretty deserved I reckon when someone has read a whole thread of veggies explaining how often they are left with nothing to eat and merrily concludes that it is just fabulous to fill up on the veggie stuff at a buffet without thinking about anyone else. Like I say, I am used to it and not a big eater, but it is pretty crass.