Catering for vegetarians at a house-warming party, do I need to provide separate food?

[IslandCanary]

Everyone is bringing a dish, so far most of these contain meat/fish (apart from the salad) as we're doing tapas-style.

One couple have just told me they are vegetarian.

Do I need to ask everyone to bring vegetarian dishes instead? Or is it ok to just provide some salad/rice and let them bring a dish they can eat? I don't want them to feel excluded.

I find most vegetarian food bland and unpleasant and would rather have meat/fish dishes to cater for the majority (I'm planning to make spicy chicken wings, someone else is bringing meatballs, another is bringing battered tempura prawns, crispy squid, vegetable risotto etc.

If I need to provide more veggie options does anyone have any ideas?

Why does a vegetarians' choice trump mine?
Because a vegetarian's choice is possibly the result of a deeply-held and well-thought out philosophical position that precludes them eating meat (akin to religion). For many vegetarians, there is simply a visceral disgust to eating meat (akin to someone with a sensory issue).

Let's get Mumsnet....would you take the vegetarian choice away from a child who didn't eat meat because of ASD type issues?

1. Do lots and lots and lots of vegetarian food

1. Label, label label

1. I want pie. Now.

1. Eat your dinner before you go to a party.

"diet requirements"

It's not though it's a choice.

Maid you're arguing for the 75% split but also arguing that meat eaters shouldn't eat the vegetarian option. So which one is it? Or do you intend omnivores to count all the food and do a few sums before they decide what to eat every time they are at a buffet?

I'm a meat eater I also usually prefer the vegetarian option on offer, in order to obtain that option when I am asked I say I would like that option, this means that one extra vegetarian is catered for and nobody is put out by me taking food intended for them

If the food is tapas, there are tons of options that do not contain meat or fish. Or do meat eaters just want a big pile of chorizo and prawns? We tend to order a mixture of things, several of which will be vegetable dishes.

This is really not hard.

billsykesdog and alaughaminute

I think you've both been eating too much meat. Have some lentils and focus on your chakras.

It's not though it's a choice
Not for all vegetarians. Those who heave at the thought of eating dead flesh. That's not a choice.

Anyway, who cares if it is a choice? A complete whimsy?

If I tell a host I need a vegetarian meal and you don't, then you eat my vegetarian meal, you are a bit of a dick (IMhumbleO). In that example, it wouldn't even matter if I were vegetarian or not. You didn't say "I'd prefer this" so you don't get to take that thing from the person who DID say "I prefer this".

you're arguing for the 75% split but also arguing that meat eaters shouldn't eat the vegetarian option
I'm arguing for an excess of vegetable dishes in general, that which would reflect the distribution on even a meat eater's plate, AND a dedicated "main" option for veggies. And for the meat eaters to recognise that a main option labelled "vegetarian" is probably intended for a vegetarian in the group.

This is really not hard

And yet.

And yet.

How many vegetarians do you need on a thread, saying "This happens, we are often left without food, there is never enough vegetarian stuff". People having to go to the chip shop on the way home??? Are you denying our experiences?

"Anyway, who cares if it is a choice? A complete whimsy?"

I am glad we agree.

So this is is only about events/parties buffets that have been pre- arranged and guests asked about dietary requirements?

What if it's a more informal affair or an event where there is no opportunity to ask guests or make preferences known beforehand?
Then you are happy for omnivores like me to eat mostly vegetarian food. I am glad you can see that in that circumstance your food choices don't trump mine.

(I think I need to calm down a bit )

I'm a meat eater I also usually prefer the vegetarian option on offer, in order to obtain that option when I am asked I say I would like that option, this means that one extra vegetarian is catered for and nobody is put out by me taking food intended for them

I do this too if I think the vegetarian option is going to be nicer than the meat option.

Havent RTFT but when I cook a big meal for the family and do a veggie option for me I usually find that by the time I have put the food on the table and sat down, there is half a portion of veggie stuff left. Twats.

It may well be a choice but it is one that is mainstream enough to have pretty much any catering company or host ask about and then cater towards

I am glad we agree
No, we don't. I was actually talking about people like Needs, who simply sometimes opt for the vegetarian choice, without any necessary associated philosophical position.

What if it's a more informal affair or an event where there is no opportunity to ask guests or make preferences known beforehand?
I feel very strongly that the host/organiser is obligated to ensure every guest will be fed appropriately. The formality of the event is irrelevant, from grand weddings for 500 people to last minute Chinese takeaways for 4.

So, sorry but no Then you are happy for omnivores like me to eat mostly vegetarian food and no I am glad you can see that in that circumstance your food choices don't trump mine

If we order a Chinese takeaway and you tip half my veggie dish onto your plate, just because you fucking fancy it, you'll have the other half over your head.

Maid, I've just been reading out your posts to my vegetarian DH and his comment was 'It's vegetarians like her that give the rest of us a bad name and make us look like entitled tits'.

The point about the chip shop, hardly ever happens. And if it does then he just accepts that sometimes he has to make a little extra effort to stand by his choices, not expect the rest of the world to pander and make his life easy whilst denying themselves that same ease of choice. Your choice, you make the sacrifices, don't expect anybody else to.

Are threads about vegetarian food always this argumentative on MN?

I've been a vegetarian for most of my life (to the extent that I get stomach cramps on the thankfully rare occasions I have had to force some meat down -last one was when an extremely elderly family friend had invited me for dinner and had gone out of her way to make a "lovely" meat pie. There was no way I was going to make her feel uncomfortable by refusing to eat it. Surely all of this boils down to good manners? If I'm hosting, I want people to enjoy themselves so I make sure there's a choice (and I may cook meat as one of the options but not always) and that everything one gets plenty. If I'm a guest I have absolutely no problem with others eating some of everything at a buffet, in the same way that I wouldn't expect to finish all the veggie stuff myself. I would be unhappy if there was nothing vegetarian at the start, but that's unusual ime. Where I do get cross though is at a formal meal where I have requested a vegetarian meal in advance and a b# meateater sees the veggie option coming out thinks it looks better than the main and pretends to be vegetarian leaving me going hungry and the kitchen staff tearing their hair out. It's really no fun watching everyone else eat something fabulous while you have to have pasta in tomato sauce cos it was all the chef could do in the time.

Make a mixed bean chilli (spicy with cumin, coriander, paprika, onions, garlic, tomatoes and peppers, but not necessarily mind blowingly hot)and serve with little baked potatoes, sour cream (or Greek yogurt), guacamole, grated cheese and Tobasco sauce on the side. The meat eaters will love it too, it's easy to do in advance and far from bland.

I am now writing his from a vegan cafe where I have gone for tapas.

No matter how informal an occasion when food is provided it is usual and normal to ask if anybody eating has an allergy or is vegetarian or not.

Unless you already know and under those circumstances the person would also know your preferance for meat free food

"How many vegetarians do you need on a thread, saying "This happens, we are often left without food, there is never enough vegetarian stuff". People having to go to the chip shop on the way home??? Are you denying our experiences?"

But that happens at a lot of social events to omnivores too. My MIL is elderly, tiny and doesn't eat very much. She prepares a meal ( well usually M&S pre cooked stuff, but portions are so tiny ( think two miniscule new potatoes and one cherry tomato) Whenever we are invited to Sunday lunch then we make a point of going to KFC either beforehand or afterwards.
But that's just how it is.
I wouldn't dream of saying anything as that would appear being entitled. If your likes and dislikes are catered to at a meal that should be a bonus, not an expectation.

^^Above needs a wink , I'm being mock aggro.

Worra - Do people really think about it this deeply

not in a party context - I'd get a bag of chips on the way home

However at work - during training, when we are asked to tick a box the week before and they cater for the exact number of people who tick 'Vegetarian' - yes I do - because once the only option left for me was 1 egg sandwich (1/4 square) some of the salad used to decorate the plates and a banana - the meaty bastards had stuffed themselves with carrot and homus butties, samosas and veggie puffs - I was incandescent with rage and hunger

maid- "simply sometimes opt for the vegetarian choice, without any necessary associated philosophical position. "

What does that mean exactly? Are your suggesting your reasons for eating the vegetarian option are more important than mine?