to not like my nephew (who I'm looking after) to be this close to a teacher?

[Nephew]

I don't think I'm knocking the teacher? But then again, I don't know if he is too personally involved with my nephew.

I have name changed, for my nephew's sake, there's a lot of information I have shared on my other account, but I have never mentioned him.

I'm going to write (DN = nephew)... DN is 12, coming on 13 (Yr 8). He has had to move in with us, for a bit, while SIL is in hospital having a serious operation and a long recovery process.

He has some end of year tests coming up soon, they're not extremely important (like GCSEs) but he wants to do well. He is hitting target in every subject, but French. His French TA has been letting him come back at break and lunch, for 1-1 sessions. He's been enjoying that and has really got better with his writing. DN is now taking part in the athletics thing at the end of the year, he has began training now, this is at lunch times.

French TA has offered to walk with him from the lesson - changing room (on a Thursday, when he has a French lesson just before lunch). I asked DN what this would be helping and he said that its for the speaking test... I'm really struggling to believe how helpful a little stroll to the changing rooms could be? I decided to have a quick call with his teacher, to let him know that the TA really doesn't need to bother with the 2 minute walk session. His teacher said that he wasn't aware of that, but he'll sort things out.

DN uses his school email address to forward revision exercises to this TA, since the last week - I've thought nothing of it. I decided to keep a watchful eye and the conversations really derail to talking about the weekend, how's he getting on here, etc.

I don't like it at all. I don't think it's anything untoward, but I think she's definitely too involved, or AIBU?

Perhaps I'm horribly naive but sounds okay to me?

Re: walking to changing rooms, the TA perhaps thinks they're going the "extra mile" for a student who's going through a tough time at the moment but really wants to improve. I can see it being useful for French speaking practice.

Re: emails. I would've thought it was the school's perogative to ask a student who is known to be having a difficult time at home (mother seriously ill, living with aunt) to enquire about how things are going and take a proactive interest in their well-being outside of school. A TA would certainly have informally askeded about home life in such circumstances when I was at school, and if "school email" is a thing these days then why shouldn't that conversation be had in type?

...but I do not have school-age children but I did used to be one so I'm fully prepared to be loudly overruled!

Just flag it up - is it usual, should I be concerned, that type of thing.

I second this though.

At our school you are not allowed to send personal e-mails to parents from school accounts, let alone to children. There are really strict rules about e-mails to protect both children and staff. Even if the TA is being naïve then it needs pointing out that this isn't appropriate.

Even if this is all entirely innocent on the part of the TA, it shows he needs his safeguarding training updated, and quickly. The TA should know it is inappropriate to be emailing personal conversations with a 13-year-old in a vulnerable position, so the school needs to know so they can support both TA and the children in their care.

Word in confidence with the Head, to enquire if this is anything to be worried about. Your position as aunt quite possibly is helpful in this situation as you can claim to be ignorant of the status quo and apologise if you're being over-protective - help to smooth the waters, if you like.

Just asked DH who is a retired teacher and he says ask to speak to the "child protection member of senior staff"

This will be one of the senior teachers who has overall responsibility for the students and take the emails with you

He thinks that the TA needs to be told not to do this for their own protection as well as the children's

1:1 time should be very carefully arranged, location of classroom, door wide open etc for everybody's protection

The TA knows very well that he is not permitted to email or phone your DN . Safeguarding children and vulnerable adults is very much in the fore at the moment and I know that at my child's school this is updated every term,
All homework submitted online is done so via a unique password not the child's email address.
I think your DC's teacher will be on the case already, but has chosen to get all the facts before taking action.

Good point anotherprick my teen DSs get their homework assignments etc through Edmodo and I have a parent log in so I can see what is being communicated between the teacher and my child.

Nosquirrels has offered the best advice.

Don't worry at all about appearing paranoid. Speak to the school immediately. At worst you have avoided grooming/abuse and at best highlighted a training/policy issue.

Sounds like he could be taking your dn under his wing so to speak, especially with his mother being in hospital.

Talk to school, everything should be absolutely transparent imo.

Unfortunately this TA is leaving himself wide open to all sorts of problems, the safeguarding lead should be told, if only to have a chat with the ta about good practice.

I've walked teens who are having a hard time to other lessons during break and sat with them while they bawled on my shoulder, so that in itself isn't weird. Emailing is blurring the line.

The t.a may be young/ not familiar with British child protection rules so hopefully an innocent transgression
Hopefully.....

E-mails about work due/homework = fine.

E-mail ending in "Have a good weekend/rugby match/cricket match" = fine.

E-mails straying into personal and overly "friendly" territory most definitely not fine.

But you have done the right thing by highlighting this with the teacher so let's hope it is just a matter of naivety on the part of the TA.

Is this TA quite new to the role?

Just wondering if he hadn't received all of his training regarding professional conduct and child protection yet - although given the level of reporting surrounding child protection issues I'd be surprised at him not realising this was totally inappropriate!

Actually is the TA British?

I just assumed he was!

If he is French then maybe they have different "rules"?

In our school, the languages TAs were basically like aupairs, teens who came over for a bit of experience. I remember ours was a bit lonely and identified more with us than the staff, So that might explain them not behaving as a teacher would. I doubt anything untoward is happening but I totally understand you ringing the teacher, sounds sensible.

Hi op

I have had some experience with student grooming unfortunately, and I think that the TA giving him the benefit of the doubt is over stepping boundaries a lot. It's nice that the TA is being involved with extra French and maybe he's trying to be supportive if he knows about dn's mum.

But he has to be seen as protecting himself and your dn and sadly he's not doing this, if dn came to me in school for something unrelated and I learned about this in the course of the conversation, these things would be sounding alarm bells.

At best he's being supportive and naive, at worst he's chancing his arm and grooming your dn, don't monitor this it's not acceptable find out who is head of year, and have a quiet word. This is a child protection issue now op please take heed.

Hope his mum is well soon too

It doesn't matter how old the TA is. The gender is irrelevant. The nationality is also irrelevant. Doesn't matter how long the TA has worked in the school.
Safe guarding is talked about during the first week.
Contracts are signed.
Acceptable terms of e-safety and other things are signed.
There's stuff in the staff room about all this.
There's a staff handbook that staff are given plus copies on site on physical copies in the building.
In a decent school new staff are given a mentor type person.

I would really talk to the safe guarding person. This should be known to you who this person is. It might be nothing. But complacency shouldn't be acceptable.

The emails are inappropriate and even if all is innocent it still needs flagging up to protect this potentially just naive TA from putting themselves at future risk of accusation.

As someone who was until very recently a Deputy Head and the Safeguarding lead in a secndary school, it is inappropriate. I am not saying it is terrible or groomng but it is inappropriate.

School staff are taught in CPD never to get too close to students. The walking him to the changng rooms is unnecessary and can't be justified in terms of curriculum. The corridors will be noisy. Speaking practice? Nope.
The emails about weekends are wrong.

Please ring the school and speak to the Headteacher. Don't do it any other way. If by any small chance you have picked up on something serious- ie a member of staff who is not fit to work with children, it needs to be dealt with by the right person. If he is so eone who just has put a boundary in the wrong place it will be sorted.

But if you just tell the teacher you risk it not being passed on and so eone slippig through the net. You must speak to the Head.

My ds has SEN and a TA who acts in a mentor role, rather than as 1:1 support. She is lovely, they obviously work together a lot and she goes the extra mile for him time and again, but they are not allowed to spend time alone 1:1 together at all and she isn't permitted to email him directly. I would be very concerned and definitely bring it to the attention of the school's safeguarding lead if that were ever to happen.

She does walk between lessons with him occasionally, usually when she needs to catch him for admin reasons or to give him back something he's lost and has been handed in for the umpteenth time that week. However, when he dropped a subject and had that lesson slot replaced with a homework supervision session with her, the school insisted it was for a minimum of two pupils and if one is off sick they are expected to do homework in the library instead.

So imo, yadnbu and as others have said, in your position I would actually contact someone more senior, preferably the safeguarding lead, rather than just the teacher.