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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Would you allow your DS (10) to post YouTube videos?

56 replies

GingerLeaves · 04/04/2016 21:21

DS wants to upload some videos, of him singing/dancing, etc.

I'm a bit on the fence about it...

If I control his channel/help him with everything, would it be okay?

OP posts:

Italiangreyhound · 05/04/2016 01:02

No personally I would not. Once out there those vids are there potentially for good. A pretty big choice to make at ten.

I think limiting internet use rather than expanding it, at this age, is a good idea. This will expand it as he checks Joe many views or comments he gets!

Italiangreyhound · 05/04/2016 01:02

How many not Joe many!!

Lweji · 05/04/2016 01:05

I've allowed DS to post videos but of games and he's not easily identifiable.
I don't allow him to include footage of him yet.

But there are so many about these days that he doesn't get views.

Mistigri · 05/04/2016 06:20

Someone can download his video and re-upload again with comments active. It's a recipe for disaster.

Why would someone do that? (Downloading and re uploading videos is a hassle: uploading is not quick, and the downloading bit is not simple). And even if they did, would it matter?

Obviously you need to be a bit careful - but the various privacy options give you scope for that. You can, for example, set videos so that they cannot be found by a general search - only by someone who has a direct link to that specific video (in the OP's case this is what I would do initially). You can disable comments or premoderate them.

Youtube seems to me to have far less potential for danger or harrassment than Facebook, because interaction is limited. And unless your child is astonishingly popular, the videos are going to get - at best - viewing numbers in the low double digits.

dakin1 · 05/04/2016 06:36

I would as long as the links are private (anyone who receives the link can view the video) rather than public. That way he can show family and friends his stuff but not the general public

NicknameUsed · 05/04/2016 06:36

No, for all the reasons that have already been posted on here.

The daughter of one of my friends posted some make-up videos along the lines of Zoella and the flack she has had from her peers at school has been horrendous.

Thereshegoesagain · 05/04/2016 06:54

Nope, not a chance.

ErgonomicallyUnsound · 05/04/2016 07:04

It depends on the child, subject matter etc.

My DS(12) has been posting YouTube vids for about 6 months now, and has also had Instagram ones reposted and viewed in the 1000's. Our rules are:

I check before upload - mainly for identifiers
I check the comments every now and again - although DS is usually pretty good at ignoring and or deleting anything he doesn't like

So far, it's been usefully educational in some respects. We discussed it recently - I asked if the negative comments were off putting and he said "nah, you accept it comes with the hate. The haterz. Just ignore it, mum. That's what I do. They just do it because they're jealous".

As a parent, of course I want to protect him but he also needs to learn how to deal with this 21st century shit himself as I haven't got a bloody clue

noblegiraffe · 05/04/2016 07:13

No. I'm a secondary teacher and have seen kids rip the piss out of others for this, or discussing, unflatteringly, videos uploaded by kids at the same school but different years. One of my Y10s is constantly mocked for a video he uploaded when he was much younger, he has forgotten the password to the account so can't delete it.

ErgonomicallyUnsound · 05/04/2016 07:27

....I should also say that the idea of DD posting stuff like DS does in a few years time fills me with horror. The longer I can keep her offline, the better.

Primarily because she is a totally different child to him, much more sensitive, less "popular" and way less streetwise.

PrimalLass · 05/04/2016 07:46

I forgot to add that my kids put up gaming videos but nothing showing their faces.

Lweji · 05/04/2016 07:48

he has forgotten the password to the account so can't delete it.
Really? Can't he recover the password or has he forgotten his email account as well?

AuntJane · 05/04/2016 07:55

I do so wish Justin Beiber's parents had thought about letting their son upload videos of him singing ....

noblegiraffe · 05/04/2016 07:57

lweji both, I imagine, the video is from when he was in primary school and he's near the end of secondary.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 05/04/2016 07:57

Yes we did. Their gymnastics on the trampoline. Nothing untoward happened!

MyLifeisaboxofwormgears · 05/04/2016 08:04

I work in IT with the security team and none of us have much of an online presence and none of our kids have FB or youtube accounts.
Maybe we are all ultra-cautious but there are other ways to share stuff and still own it.
Anything posted online (including this comment) is no longer owned by me and I have lost control of it. The potential for stuff to be misued is high and the benefits are minimal. Videos can be played to friends on other channels and you don't need to upload it anywhere.

Also, maybe this is me, but what is the point of all this endless sharing of very dull stuff - what do people get out of it?

akkakk · 05/04/2016 08:16

Mistigri downloading YouTube videos is very simple - keepvid.com etc...
Anything once on the Internet is out of your control...
If you want to share videos, then a locked account on Vimeo is better than YouTube, if you want a wide audience then accept that you are giving away control...

Mistigri · 05/04/2016 09:11

akkakk it's not difficult, no, but it requires specific knowledge, time, and a good reason to do it. Who is going to go to that effort for an 11 year old's amateur video (the answer is no one: it's hard enough for musicians like my DD making good quality, well produced material to get their videos viewed).

It's quite telling on this thread that those of us who report allowing their children to upload videos (with limits and, where appropriate, supervision) report no major issues.

Original poster

GingerLeaves · 05/04/2016 10:17

Well, his music teacher was going to help him, they have a YouTube channel (the company has one) and he has been on it a few times... However, I wouldn't want someone using his video.

OP posts:

squashtastic · 05/04/2016 10:22

I wouldn't. Comments on YouTube can get really personal and unpleasant

This and by "unpleasant" read 'fucking awful, sexist, racist, hateful, graphic'. Children (and a lot of adults ) don't seem to comprehend that what you are happy to share today might be the source of much humiliation in a week's time 20 years time. There's not getting it back. If in 4 years time when he's an awkward teenager he might not want the videos being shared among his friends.

SpringerS · 05/04/2016 11:13

Also, maybe this is me, but what is the point of all this endless sharing of very dull stuff - what do people get out of it?

Well some people make 7 figures a year out of it, along with getting an absolute tonne of free stuff. My DS loves Evantube youtube channels and the kids on that even got a free trip to Hong Kong in order to shill about what a great holiday destination it is. Personally that wouldn't be the life I'd choose for my son. They might make great money but I honestly think it comes at too high a cost of their childhood.

My DS is only 3 but he is already practicing his toy reviews, so I know once he understands how youtube works, he'll want to upload his own videos. I'm already trying to work out where I stand on it. So far I've decided that I'd be ok with us making little story videos with his toys, during which his hand might be seen or his voice might be heard but he'd be altering it slightly to be Batman/Superman/etc. Only plain backgrounds would be seen and none of our names would be findable. He would only do it as long as he finds it fun, it would never turn into some sort of job while he is a child. And as we may be homeschooling, I'd try to make it educational for him in terms of story writing, the technical aspects of filming and uploading, etc. My husband is a professional film/television editor and if DS has an interest in learning the more complicated aspects of video making, like VFX or stop motion animation, he could teach him about that.

Furiosa · 05/04/2016 12:23

Mistigri not specific knowledge at all. Just google it - you copy the url and paste it into a downloader site. Done.

Asking why someone would bother though is the issue. My fear would be bullying. If OP son uploads his own videos of him singing and dancing and school bullies get wind of this it could go south fairly quickly. There's no way I put a video of myself singing and dancing on youtube. Even if OP's son is very good at what he does (which it sounds like he is) performing on the internet can be a rougher ride than busking on the street.

That said if his music teacher has done this before without any issues and their set up is professional and the video and performance is high quality it could attract a lot of positive responses too.

Maybe I'm over cautious but remember poor Rebecca Black or the infamous "Star Wars Kid".

Narp · 05/04/2016 12:31

I would not let mine do this if face were visible, at that age 9or actually now - they are older)

What he needs to understand is that if it's something he would not want want his worst enemy to see then he should not post it.

If he's not old enough to understand what that means, then you shouldn't let him.

Mistigri · 05/04/2016 13:40

Furiosa but you've got to go out of your way to use a downloader site and then re-upload it all of which takes time and effort. Why would anyone go to even a small amount of trouble to do this? If your child is being bullied by kids who are prepared to go to these lengths, then frankly YouTube is the least of your worries.

Unless the OP's son's videos are very unusual, or he has a massive talent for self-promotion, they will get a handful of views at best. Fewer than if he busked down the local tube station. My daughter would love for there to be people out there downloading her stuff off YouTube - realistically (and her total view count is well into the thousands) that is not happening.

I'm all for caution and education with regards social media - but most of this thread is just scaremongering.

catewood21 · 05/04/2016 13:45

My DD (age 10) has been uploading pictures of herself doing gymnastics for years.Disables comments though

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