AIBU to not go on the pill?

[VenusInFauxFurs]

I am currently in a non-exclusive relationship. Although it's open I'm not currently having sex with anyone else. Obviously condoms are non-negotiable. However, they are also the only type of contraception I am using. Should I be using some other kind of contraception, do you think?

I have only relatively recently become sexually active after a fifteen year gap so this hasn't really come up before.

When I took the pill years and years ago, it really messed with my moods. I have depression and am currently going through a bit of a low patch at the moment (I'm on ADs). I am wary of taking the pill because I don't want to make my depression worse. I know that different pills might have different side effects. But presumably it takes a while to sort that shit out.

I would rather rely on condoms. I feel like this should be sufficient because I'm 42. It's not like I'm massively fertile.

Also the chap I'm seeing has some ejaculation issues and never comes inside me. We have sex but he finishes off by hand. So what with that, my age and the fact that we're using condoms means that me getting knocked up would be pretty miraculous.

(Obviously the coming inside me thing could change if I start seeing someone else.)

AIBU to assume that condoms are sufficient in my circumstances?

Used correctly condoms should be enough protection. I'm not a massive fan of the pill either.

Yanbu. DH and I used condoms to avoid pregnancy for years.

If your boyfriend is having sex with other women then you should absolutely be using condoms.

I was going to come on and tell you condoms aren't sufficient. But withdrawal and condoms, which is what you are actually doing, sounds more reliable.

Don't think being 42 is protection! If you meet someone else, you may have to think about something in addition to condoms.

pearly, there's no question of not using condoms. It's just whether I should be considering using another contraceptive method as well.

Yeah, I've only ever used condoms and never had so much of a scare.

Terry why? Condoms are a really effective method of contraception.

Condoms and other methods over time. Used typically, they aren't totally effective, especially over time. Which is fine when you are in a situation where a pregnancy wouldn't be a total disaster.

Interactive version. Can you tell I like graphs?

nothing is totally effective except abstinence. But condoms are very effective if used correctly. No reason to go on the pill if you use them every time; and given that he is shagging around, you should.

BUT any slip ups or slip offs - get the MAP. You are nowhere near too old to get pregnant.

If he's not finishing in you and you're using condoms then that's probably just as reliable I wouldn't worry.

A diaphragm? Found it brilliant. Only you know. No effect on moods.

We've used the withdrawal method successfully for 16y. When I told the doc at the FP clinic (getting coil fitted) she was obviously worried for my fertility. But DS2 was conceived 1st try. We've obviously been lucky!