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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel like this (moaning post sorry)

10 replies

bingisthebest · 03/04/2016 19:49

Just after some perspective really. I have 3dcs 7yo, 5yo and 2yo and I just find each day really hard work.
I work 2 days a week in a job I enjoy and my dh works ft and is pretty supportive.
My whole life is the kids, obviously because they are so young but now it's become that I don't have anything else. I used to do exercise most weeks but o have completely lost interest in that. Just think that won't happen until youngest dc is in school. Can't be bothered.
I've always tried to look ok but now I don't even care about that really.
I don't even really like meeting up with friends with kids as I usually find it very stressful so stick to just us.
just feel like I don't have space int brain for anything else.
So aibu to feel like this or do I just need to pull myself together?!
Tia

OP posts:
Kbear · 03/04/2016 19:53

Sounds normal to me. Believe it or not, exercise might help if you can manage a couple of nights of swimming or a work out at the gym, it makes you physically tired of course but you will sleep better and mentally feel better I think, it helps me definitely.

My kids are now teens so I can come and go as I want pretty much but I remember being where you are, where the kids are young and you feel it's all about them and start to feel what happened to you? Well you have a supportive DH so make the most of him and go out for a walk for a hour with a friend and chat or have a movie night once a month.

Original poster
bingisthebest · 03/04/2016 21:55

Anyone else.? Feeling pretty fed up and interested in advice

OP posts:
Original poster
bingisthebest · 03/04/2016 21:56

Also how do I move this to parenting?

OP posts:
RubbleBubble00 · 03/04/2016 22:02

so so so normal. I've three dc are age who are a right handful. I work 3 days a week which is my me time as love my job and friends at work. I'm more than happy to pop kids into bed and then settle on sofa with some chocolate on a night and watch TV. I'm trying to enjoy my youngest as he will be in nursery before I know it. so my two off days we go to toddler group and a class, but it's lovely to pop him down for a nap and just sit.

ScarlettDarling · 03/04/2016 22:06

It sounds to me like you're a little bit depressed. Depression doesn't usually hit like a thunderclap leaving you feel in the depths of despair, it can creep up on you causing symptoms like you've described...finding everything a massive effort, not being bothered with your appearance, getting anxious about socialising etc.

You've taken an important step in identifying how you feel and deciding to address it. If you've been feeling like this for a long time, it might be worth speaking to your gp to see if they think you'd benefit from trying an anti depressant. If you don't feel it's that bad, then you need to think about how you can address this yourself.

I agree with the poster above who said that exercise would really help. I know you've lost interest in it, but if you force yourself to try it a few times a week, you might really feel it's lifting your mood and energy levels. Arrange for your Dh to be in to look after the children and go for a run or out to the gym, or even just a brisk walk without children hanging onto you and constantly demanding your attention.

Onynx · 03/04/2016 22:14

Feel like this too. My three are 9,7 and 2 and it seems like I'm looking after everybody all day, everyday. My DH is great & pretty hands on when he is at home but I've also totally lost 'me'. I've always been averagely slim and never had to worry about what I ate but I have put on 2stone that won't shift - probably because as a pp said - evenings are spent on the couch with tea/wine. I don't even know where I would begin to have the time/energy for exercise but I know that quite a lot of my friends feel like this also, they also assure me that it does pass! That said, I do love spending time at home especially with the 2 yr old - I know this time goes by far too quickly... BrewThanksto all the busy mums!

Kingfisherfree · 03/04/2016 22:16

I hear you. I have just started running again & finding it really hard, I'm not overweight really but I struggle because it leaves me tired I'm hoping this will improve the fitter I become. It's funny because I was so fit in my 20s!

I would try to fit this in as it feels good to play some music( Biffy Cyclo Grin) and get out on my own.

I think having 3 does leave you run-ragged sometimes that's the nature of the beast and it's a vicious circle as the more tired you are mentally the less able you are to make positive changes or think of a plan to help the status quo.

Original poster
bingisthebest · 04/04/2016 07:43

I am definitely enjoying the little one and that helps but she can also be incredibly hard work particularly now she's hit 2 and isn't napping every day so just feels relentless.
I don't really talk to others about this because I'm the only one I know with a small one amd others seem to be enjoying having 2 that can do more for themselves so don't want to moan on. In real life anyway!
Thanks for replies. I know o need to get the exercise back.

OP posts:
Kbear · 04/04/2016 12:03

try it one evening now it's lighter - take an hour and go for a swim or a walk round the block, really fast, get your heart rate up, look in people's gardens (windows!), recapture some clear headspace and then go home, have a nice shower and relax. Make this your evening routine - DH will cope and you will immediately feel better - then you can build on this exercise with something more as time goes on.

TheStoic · 04/04/2016 12:07

Can you describe what your ideal weekend would look like?

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