AIBU to not understand why my son hasn't told me he is ill?

[LookingForSomeAdvice]

I know this is an odd thing to be asking about, but this seems to be the best place to put it.

DS is 13 (Yr 8)... He's being going off to school like nothing... He has genuinely looked fine... Just a bit knackered, which he said was because he hasn't been able to sleep. We had a doctor appointment booked for his lack of being able to sleep (DH's side is known for it)... He requested to go in on his own, very surprised as he would never request that! I thought it was because he wanted to act grown up. He fainted, explained that he has had D&V for the last few days and doctor got his lots of water and he was hydrated again. Doctor then called us in after he had fainted and said we need to keep him home until he is better as he isn't well enough to be taking on all the strains of a day at school. I completely agree! Never mind he has probably spreaded germs at school and has made him self worse.

Can anyone explain why he would do such a thing?

poor lad was probably just embarassed, dont be mad at him

It does sound odd. Was there an event he didn't want to miss or something that he thought you might stop him doing? That sounds most likely at that age.

Usually they'd milk it some!

I agree. Don't be mad at him.

I once kept a cronic case of tonsillitis and scarlet fever because I didn't want to worry my parents. (Silly I know)

I prefered to go to school ill than stay at home so I tended not to tell dm. I hated the return to school, catching up work, finding things had moved on in my absence etc. I remember running out of a French exam at his,age, being sick and returning to do the rest.
My dd1's the same, whereas dd2 and ds love a sick day and I have to make sure they're actually ill with something they should be off with rather than just slightly off colour.

I agree, it does sound odd. It sounds like he's embarrassed about something and doesn't want to talk to you about it. It could be that perhaps he just blurted out the D and V symptoms to the doctor because he was too embarrassed to say what he's really worried about? That's just a shot in the dark though, although I do think that vomiting and diarrhoea is pretty hard to hide from your mum when you're living in the same house!

What did your son say when you asked him why he hadn't told you he'd been feeling ill?

*quiet

He has an en suit bathroom so I'm not actually sure how hard it would have been, maybe I just haven't been even thinking about it so would never look really! He spends quite a bit of time in his room so I suppose I just never saw

It could be that maybe there was some blood in the diarrhoea or something (maybe piles or a fissure) and he has googled it and worried himself stupid about what it could be?

Does his school have prizes or incentives for attendance? Did he feel under pressure to go in?

Is it possible he has an eating disorder?

Im in a probably embarrassed camp along with wanting to go to school. Once of my DS's woke up from an operation on his broken nose and asked if he could go in to school. He hated anyone learning more than him.

I think this is one of those mum and son chats you need..Could be a million reasons, pressure from school,he may feel behind already, bullying, embarrassment , issue with food...

Chat in the car or whilst on a walk. Will be easier for him to open up whilst side by side and without having to deal with eye contact.

People pleasing?

Probably embarrassed. I think that's pretty normal at 13.

My first thought was an eating disorder. Has he being making himself sick? Did he faint from lack of food?