To not want to host two sets of house guests in last month of pregnancy?

[rainbowontheway]

I'm beyond tired. Am 35 weeks with DC#2 and have DC#1 who is 3.5. I'm shattered from just taking care of him, trying to tire him out every day (he's a bad sleeper!), picking up after him (it's endless!) and dealing with the usual tantrums and shoes of will. I'm working part time until 3 weeks before my due date. We're about to get a painter in to decorate upstairs and are having to do lots of souring out of the house. Latest house guests (2 adults and a 1 yr old for 2 nights) only left a few days ago and accommodating them involved weird room rejigging and extra tidying (1 yr old plus 3 yr old was a glimpse of the future!). We're wanting to move DC#1 rooms and get their current room set up as the nursery, hence the painting. This means our actual spare room (v small double) will be no more. MIL last visited at end of Feb for the usual couple of nights and is asking if she can come again in April or better wait til after baby arrives in May. Other guests would be friends and their kids (2 and 4) in a couple of weeks. Both would be post-painting and room changing and for 2 nights... Friends have offered to stay in a hotel bit there's still the meals and hosting here in the daytime which makes me tired just thinking about! But we've not seen them for a year and visits post-baby won't be any easier.
I have backache, breathless, and have bad heartburn. DC#1 still invades out bed - and our sleep - most nights. I want to decline both sets of visitors, hotel or not, but DH says I'm being overly grumpy and unreasonable. Am I?

Yeah, but without the 'we' part, it would be you doing the bulk of it. Just tell him NO, I'm too tired and worn out. Tell MIL to wait till after the baby and the other people that whilst you'd love to see them, it's too close to your due date and will need to wait till after teh baby.

No, you hosted guests and your body told you it was too much. This is a reason NOT to have more guests. Totally skewed logic and priorities to think that having done it once you should do it again. You should not feel guilty at all. Your dh should feel guilty for having made you feel like this.

Fuck that for a game of soldiers.

If your DH wants guests, he does ALL the hosting. You look after yourself, while you're carrying his baby!

Oh dear Lord no!

I have to say I'd be putting my foot down and threatening to take myself off to a hotel (on my own) the moment any house guests arrived!

What are your friends thinking of?

Politely say to your MIL that you aren't feeling up to it but would love her to visit at X time after the baby is born.

swirling you're right about listening to my body! When our last visitors were here we didn't eat dinner til 9 each night and I was just so starving by then. It's hard enough getting through the evening routine with just DS without other little ones around to settle etc. Will be saying no. MIL is lined up, at our request, to be here ASAP after I go to hospital to help look after DS but she'll be checking into a hotel as soon as I'm home. Our friends will just have to diarise a summer holiday visit to us. I fancy a night in a hotel, alone, regardless though!!!

Yanbu! DH's don't always get how tiring it is to host in late pregnancy. I'd say no. Even if it is hard after baby is here, I would put all that on hold till you get used to things being normal again.

Yanbu! Sat here two weeks post birth with dc2 and HONESTLY it is easier than when heavily pregnant. Save the visitors til after then they are more likely to help out as well.

Hang in there. Being pregnant with a toddler is tough

YANBU! I'm currently 39+3 with a (also non-sleeping) toddler and am bloody knackered. No way could I be hosting anyone, even just during the daytimes. We've had a few playdates recently where friends have popped round with their kids and I've done lunch or tea. My thinking was it would provide entertainment for DD and remove the need for me to actually go anywhere with her. But It's brought me to my knees each time, even when the kids have been really well behaved and played nicely together.

I'm feeling totally antisocial now and just want to hide myself away in a corner and not see anyone. All my friends seem desperate to 'keep me company' though and keep texting offering to pop round (usually with their kids, on my DD-free days ). I know it's nice they all care and want to see me, but I'm finding it so oppressive and just want them all to bugger off!!

YADNBU. Another addition to the "fuck that!" chorus. I would absolutely not be doing that shit at 8months pregnant with a toddler to look after, none of it. Even if your guests stay in a hotel, they will still expect to see you for meals, trips out etc during the day when you should be resting. You will still feel you have to make an effort to keep the house and yourself looking presentable and to provide meals etc. The fact that they would be sleeping elsewhere makes minimal difference.

Your DH is BU. He should understand that you have to grab every opportunity for rest before baby comes along. I would also be making it clear to him that you're not commiting yourself to accepting visitors once baby is here either, not until the time comes you know how you're feeling.

Why anyone would try to invite themselves to visit a couple who already have a small child and are expecting another in a matter of weeks is beyond me! People can be utterly clueless.