AIBU to not get my daughter, who has autism, a rabbit?

[BuddyBear12345]

I know this is an odd thread. However, my daughter (who's 7) has ASD, she is nonverbal. She sees a specialist speech therapist, they told us that children who are nonverbal, and who have ASD, come on leaps and bounds if there's an animal involved. Usually a rabbit is best.

I have considered it, but I'm not sure a rabbit is right for us. I don't think it would be fair on the animal - I wouldn't treat it bad, I'd feed it, give it a nice home, etc. but I don't particularly want one! Would you get one, if you knew it would help your child?

My DC is autistic and loves our friend's guinea pigs (their DC are also autistic). Thinking of getting some. You just need an outdoor space with grass. They seem easier than rabbits and very cuddly.

Going against the grain, but please don't get a cat. I am by so many people recommending this.
They do need attention. They need to play, they need to be interacted with. People saying they are independent are wrong.
We don't know how your dad's behaviour is, OP, but a cat would be very stressed by meltdowns, tantrums, being roughly handled. Especially a calm middle-aged lapcat. My DM rehomed our middle-aged pudding of a guy when she moved, to a family with a toddler. Most chilled cat ever. Until the toddler manhandled him. He flipped and DM had to collect him.
Oh, and yes cats defend themselves. (As do rabbits. Both are stressed if they feel the need to). Cat scratches and bites are very likely to get badly infected. And a nonverbal child won't be able to tell you they feel ill. So thinking about the child as well, a cat is a bad idea.
I agree with Puffle, animals shouldn't be expected to be magical 'therapy' animals. They do not exist to serve humans. I speak as someone whose cat has helped me through awful depression, but I don't expect that and if I was unable to care for or damaging her, I would rehome (even temporarily) in a heartbeat.
Please, do not get one. Maybe reconsider when dd is older and as ppl said, consider borrowing/ visiting animals.

If you are not sure about a pet I used to foster for Cats' Protection. It's a good way of having all the benefits of a cat (or 2) but no bills as vet's fees and food/litter are provided by CP.

Obviously when the cat gets a permanent home you say good bye.

Some people foster all the time, others just for a few weeks a year.

I would recommend to take your DD to a friend's house who has a rabbit/guinea pig/cat/dog first to see if she has any interest in the animal. Being autistic does not immediately mean she will love, or even have any passing interest on a pet. Liking going to the zoo proves nothing either. It is possible you will buy a pet and she will ignore it or only be marginally interested. And this would not be fair on the pet.

I would go with a ferret or a rat. Very easy to own. They play and are very affectionate. If you get them from young and handle them especially ferret they make the best pets.

What about www.borrowmydoggy.com ?

Brokengirl, I am one with cats for my ASD son and I still agree with your post.

We got ours at 8 week old kittens. We are HF ASD and meltdowns are thankfully not a regular occurance anymore. We are told every time by our vet how well handled our cats are - honestly they will allow the children to carry them anywhere and like babies and play with their paws in little games etc. They are so so tame, but a lot of that is because ASD DS spent hours and hours coaxing and calmly speaking - the cat wasn't a magic thing for him, we already knew he would respond well to pets if that makes sense?

Never buy any child a pet that you do not want yourself. Particularly one that you will still be caring for when that child leaves home.

I see people suggesting guinea pigs. It is very easy to seriously hurt a guinea pig by being too rough. So unless your DC is very gentle, it is not a god idea. They love gentle and quiet handling.

being a cat person, i'm probably biased, but cats are better for autistic children imho.

While DS never really took to our first cat (she's a bit aloof and grumpy and only likes me tbh) he absolutely dotes on the Tuxedo kitten we got in october, he's 7mo now and an absolute star, so affectionate and playful, DS loves him, and tbh, since we got him, my sons violent meltdowns have really reduced.

my mom has a dog, and while he's lovely, i find the energy all wrong, he makes DS more hyper, whereas the kitten just wants to either be played with or to curl up on you and just be stroked, and as DS spends quite a bit of time sat watching his tablets, TeenyTux sits with or near him quite a bit.

I know it may sound odd but my DS1 who had ASD loved furry fabrics when he was small. The interaction side of things was neither here nor there. A blanket is easy to look after at least!

In Sainsburys today I saw a lovely lab wearing a green coat with 'Autism Assistance Dog'' on it. A boy of 7 was holding the lead and there was a second lead going to his mother. I didn't want to stare or intrude so didn't speak to the mother but there appears to be an organisation providing suitable dogs.

I second contacting the RDA and enquiring about somewhere near to you that runs it. I used to volunteer with the RDA and kids of all disabilities get something out of it, It helps muscle tone and builds trust and confidence. Horses are big and tough enough to withstand occasional hair pulls or over eager petting which also makes them perfect over other smaller pets. Only the most vice free perfectly behaved horses are used as to reduce risk or injury from spooking or reacting to a child's sudden screams or actions.

Here is a link where you can type in your postcode and find your nearest group
riding for the disabled

RE Rats: Please never get just one fancy rat! They like company. I'd suggest three as a minimum as if one dies unexpectedly it can be difficult to source and introduce a new one at short notice! But two is absolute minimum.

OP If you don't want a pet then don't feel like you need too, it's very sensible to think it through properly first and there are services dotted around purely to provide animal therapy for children with ASD. I think the PP who said that the books and documentaries about children with ASD having pets that changed their lives is probably pushing this line of thinking from the therapist.

I've also heard that rabbits aren't great for kids. If you aren't home a lot I think a cat would be the only real option as they can free come and go, but even then it's not ideal as they do need interaction too.

I would ordinarily suggest rats as they're wonderful pets for children but they need a lot of interaction as well, and if your daughter has excitable squeezing tendencies it is not a good idea to get rats as they are fragile round the middle (a few of my charges with ASD have been squeezers which is why I mention it). A previous employer was considering Guinea Pigs but again, they also require a lot of time with their humans.

However, having said about rats being fragile round the middle, they are resilient in other aspects. And they can get big, males especially. They can be expensive when they get ill and they are prone to respiratory problems, and you need to find a vet who is good with rodents because standard vets usually aren't great with rats, one I saw on the off chance didn't know what porphyrin was, which is a very common sign of something being potentially wrong in rats. I also would never recommend getting rescue rats as your first rats, you never know what they'll be like and rescues can be bloody hard work and may not want cuddles/anything to do with you generally. If you want to go down the rat route I'd recommend finding a good breeder (NFRS has a breeders list) and researching a lot. Rats are not easy/cheap pocket pets. We have taken all of ours to the vet at some point in their lives, three have needed emergency ops which cost around £100 a time and two have had respiratory problems from a young age which required constant medication. They are worst case scenarios, they're mostly fine to be fair, but people underestimate how expensive small pets can be in vets bills!

We've got a cat, dogs, guinea pigs and ds1 goes horse riding each week. All have been good for him, especially our cat, who he calls for each bedtime. She sits with him while he falls asleep, then goes outside. She's also started going into ds3s room at bedtime as he is beginning to show signs of sleep problems.

Forgot to say that ds1 has ASD and we suspect ds3 has too.