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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is he?

39 replies

themumfairy · 31/03/2016 10:40

Dp often goes on overnight fishing trips to various local pools, dc have sometimes gone with him in the summer months and they really enjoy it and tbh I enjoy the peace at home. Lately his 14 year old cousin has been going which has been a big help to his parents as he has adhd and fishing is something that calms his behaviour down.
Dps mate has started to tag along who in turn has invited another mate.

Dp takes his fishing quite seriously. His mates mate has started getting a girl to come out to the fishing pool to have sex with him in his tent. It's not his wife.
He's an adult so I know he can do what he wants but what's really annoyed me is that dp didn't mention it. I had to hear it from dps cousin who walked in on them.
Dp says he's only there to fish and doesn't take any notice. That easily could of been our ds who's 7 who walked in on them.

Aibu to expect dp to tell me things like this?

OP posts:
sepa · 31/03/2016 11:56

What a classy bird to be shagging in a tent. She needs to get some respect for herself

RudeElf · 31/03/2016 12:00

What exactly is wrong with shagging in a tent sepa and why is it just her that needs to get some self respect? Hmm

Original poster
themumfairy · 31/03/2016 12:02

And believe me he is no catch either (see what I did there Grin)

I just find the whole thing very cheap and I don't want my dc round it whether they know what's going on or not.

He's now added my dp on Facebook and keeps messaging about their next trip. I'm hoping he'll get bored of it soon but as he's getting an alibi I doubt he will.

I'm definitely not one for an overnight camp out, I much prefer my home comforts but dc went last year and really enjoyed the adventures and having some daddy time.

OP posts:
findingmyfeet12 · 31/03/2016 12:04

It seems to be the cheating that's a bigger issue for you than the sex. I can understand why you object to being "involved" in that and feeling badly for his wife.

The sex itself wouldn't bother me as long as they kept to their own tent and I ensured my children kept to their own tent.

PerspicaciaTick · 31/03/2016 12:12

The problem for me is that if I was actually on the fishing trip and the minging couple were there too, I wouldn't be able to ignore it. I would say something to him and quite probably his wife too. I could not be made complicit in the affair (possibly too grand a word for a fishy fuck in a tent by a pond).

So why does your DH want you there? As a witness? A deterrent? Is he hoping you will take action where he is too scared to?

fatherpeeweestairmaster · 31/03/2016 12:12

I think I'd go along too, a few times specifically the times the 'mate' has requested to come. Take a book , if necessary. Then when Cheaty McTrout pitches up, look delighted and say, 'Great! Some female company!' and insist on chatting to her about her/your kids until she slopes off. Repeat until mate finds somewhere else to stick his rod.

icelollycraving · 31/03/2016 12:41

Fishy fuck in a tent Grin
I think it's a very good idea for you to go so you can tell them that your ds is there for family time because that's what a nice family do,head tilt,isn't it time you went back to yours?

centigrade451 · 31/03/2016 12:51

You don't want your children exposed to your DH condoning extra-marital affairs. Children are not stupid. Imagine what this is communicating to your children.

Have a strong word with DH that he is not allowed to go with this friend's friend. Tell him it is not on and he should uninvite this person.

Just because other people don't have values, doesn't mean you want your children exposed to it. Anything involving your children IS your business.

EverySongbirdSays · 31/03/2016 13:20

No offence posters but I'm sure some of you aren't reading the OP properly. A lot of people are saying "as long as your DC weren't involved"

The DPs cousin is someone else's DC who has walked in on it and DP has been massively blase about it which is so weird.

Yeah that's just my mate, shagging someone else's wife, no worries kid. Hmm

YANBU OP.

What has your DP's aunt and uncle had to say on the matter?

TheNaze73 · 31/03/2016 14:28

I think is mate is the one being disrectful here. Bringing a woman to a boys thing is a massive no-no

RudeElf · 31/03/2016 14:34

I think is mate is the one being disrectful here. Bringing a woman to a boys thing is a massive no-no

Its not a dick measuring contest! Its fishing Hmm women can fish too.

bluespiral · 31/03/2016 14:34

I wouldn't be happy at all if this were my DH. By continuing to invite this guy / go on trips with him, he's just condoning the whole sordid little thing. It kind of detracts from what the trip is supposed to be about, doesn't it?

I would fully expect my DH not to go away with him again, but if he didn't decide that himself I would be strongly "asking" him to arrange alternative trips that didn't involve that kind of thing. Yuk.

Heidi42 · 31/03/2016 14:40

I think you ought to tell on them anon of course and watch the fallout serves them right they are disgusting cheating animals

TheNaze73 · 31/03/2016 14:56

RudeElf I didn't mean like that. I know women can fish too. What I meant was, if you were having an all girls get together, the last thing you'd dream about, would be inviting your partner

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