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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask how you get them to sleep through?!

41 replies

cjt110 · 31/03/2016 09:45

My son, 19.5m old, still often wakes once or twice in the night. He is bottle fed and had a dummy. Often he wakes because he's lost his dummy, or cant find his bottle of milk that is left in his cot. Say out of 7 nights, its often 5+ nights.

I have put 6 dummies in his cot and he still wakes. I have tried water a while back and it seemed to work but then he would wake up in a frenzy and you could hear his tummy rumbling so went back to milk. We have even tried leaving him for a few minutes when we first hear him to see if he resettles but more often than not he doesnt so I have to get up and see to him.

What can I do to help this happen? What am I doing wrong? Any helpful suggestions would be great.

OP posts:

Topseyt · 31/03/2016 16:32

Cold turkey here too. He doesn't need the night feeds at all at that age so just cut them out

Leave a bottle with a few oz of water just in case he is thirsty, but nothing else except the dummy if he likes to have one. Beyond that you just have to tough it out. Check on him occasionally, but don't give him milk and don't get him up.

I was lucky in that mine all night weaned themselves by the time they were three or four months. Fed all day though, but that suited me. I never night fed them again. They would have some water if thirsty and/or it was a hot night, but that was it.

Boredworkingmum020 · 31/03/2016 16:57

Probably get completely flame for this but my DS had a bottle in the night until 2.5 years old then he just dropped it himself. That was the right decision for us and him. Some children just sleep better than others - we have issues with adenoids so he often still wakes himself up but he just settles back down if we go in. It helped tremendously having quite a bright night light in his bedroom too. Even at 18 months he might not be ready to be separated from you for long periods - all kids are different.

HighwayDragon1 · 31/03/2016 17:13

Wait till they're three and bribe them...

ImogenTubbs · 31/03/2016 17:17

We did co-sleeping. Not some profound lifestyle choice - just too bloody knackered for anything else at 3am and quite liked the cuddles. Now at 2.5yo DD is just starting to grow out of it (currently celebrating a run of six unbroken nights, but will probably jinx it saying that!) Not much help, sorry! Good luck.

TimeToMuskUp · 31/03/2016 17:21

Imogen we were exactly the same. DS1 (10) slept on his own from a few months old and rarely woke in the night. DS2 (5) didn't sleep through til almost 4 and I was so utterly ballbagged that I just gave in and let him climb into our bed. But he didn't often want a feed through the night, just company.

He's great now and sleeps like a dream. I thought I would go mad waiting for it to happen, though.

cakeycakeface · 31/03/2016 17:23

I'm afraid I think it's the milk too, and the dummy. We were told by our HV to not even offer water because they'll become conditioned to waking for that as well. It will be hard to wean him off, but it will be worth it.

RubbleBubble00 · 31/03/2016 17:56

I'm in the cold turkey camp. Cut all bottles out at night inc water. Leave it a couple of wks then cut the dummy. I ditched the dummy as at 2.5 started waking 3x a night looking for them

jellycat1 · 31/03/2016 22:25

Not read whole thread but ds1 is 18 mths and has gone 7-7 since about 6 mths. He's a dummy addict - terrible one actually but we'll cross that bridge later - so goes to bed with a dummy in his mouth one in each hand plus dummy bunny. All are night time luminous dummies. He has a pretty clockwork bath and bed routine and has a bottle of Aptamil 3 last thing in bed. Not great for teeth I know, but he still only has half of them and he loves his bedtime bottle. We will switch to a beaker soon. It's the only bottle he still has. He's always been left alone straight after his milk and always left awake to fall asleep himself. Amount of food he eats during any given day has no effect whatsoever on how well he sleeps. Nor does the quality and length of his afternoon nap. It's just habit. Praying it will stay now and praying equally hard that ds2 is as good. Just 4 weeks old but looking ok so far. Everything crossed! Hope it gets better for you. I definitely wouldn't feed anything - water or milk - after bedtime.

Original poster

cjt110 · 01/04/2016 08:50

He has a good routine at bedtime. Always has. He has tea at 6, then some Cbeebies/quiet playtime before bed. He is then in bed for 6.50 and has a bottle in his cot and I talk about his day with him. He then hands me his bottle when he is finished and turns over and I tuck him in and leave him to fall asleep on his own.

We have co-clept when he was younger but it's not an option anymore as he hates it and loves his own space.

Last night was hard. We tried a duvet and a bazzillion dummies in the cot. Tried leaving him with a bottle of water and he screamed the place down (He didnt have very much tea so his last substantial meal was at 3pm for a snack of jam and bread). So we caved and gave him milk.

He's still in a cot because he is. No reason other than we don't know/think he's ready. How do you know if they are ready?

Tonight its sleeping bag, thin blanket, all crap moved from his cot that he doesnt need once he's asleep, dummies scattered around and water.

We have found since giving him the duvet at night, he struggles to find things in his cot and seems to wake because of this so going back to his blanket.

OP posts:

arethereanyleftatall · 01/04/2016 09:11

Did you give him a bottle of milk just before bedtime?
I would have done - milk and cuddles and talk about day at eg 6.45, then clean teeth, then tuck up in bed with water.

Original poster

cjt110 · 01/04/2016 09:24

Pretty much arethereanyleftatall So tea at 6, TV off at 6.45, put into sleeping bag and put into bed, i talk to him whilst he has his milk and then once he's had his milk, that is taken away (most nights) he's tucked in with a thin blanket over him and bottle of water and dummy given and he's left to fall asleep.

OP posts:

wannabehippyandcrazycatlover · 01/04/2016 09:35

Completely disagree that he doesn't need anything- I wake up thirsty in the night so why wouldn't your DC? That is completely irresponsible advice from HV.

If you are certain he is getting enough to eat then try a reassurance cuddle and water.

Original poster

cjt110 · 01/04/2016 10:08

Its so hard to know whats right and not just the easier method.

OP posts:

AppleSetsSail · 01/04/2016 10:26

Completely disagree that he doesn't need anything- I wake up thirsty in the night so why wouldn't your DC? That is completely irresponsible advice from HV.

I wake up thirsty only when I've drunk a bottle of wine. I think it's pretty unusual to need water in the night outside of hot weather or illness.

pamplem0usse · 01/04/2016 19:34

Turn the TV off earlier. A lot earlier. Swap it for books and cuddles with milk. The blue light from TV is really disruptive to sleep. Cold turkey on milk and dummy in the night but offer cuddles... (I'm afraid I'm not in the cry it out camp) we co-slept until the wriggling was disruptive then transferred to their beds but never left to cry. Voila 6 and 4 year olds who sleep beautifully and love their beds.

Original poster

cjt110 · 02/04/2016 06:31

He did it! 😁 water in cot. Made sure he'd eaten plenty. He woke at 12.30. Cried because it wasn't milk. Then turned and settled himself. I was back in bed for 12.36!!!!

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