To say something about friend's DS (sorry long)

[PTTG]

I spent few days with a very dear friend of mine in another country. Friend and her DH are great friends of mine and fantastic person. They are first time parents and have a 23 month old DS. I had a chance a play with him and observe him for a while this time. I had my slight concerns about his development (promise I absolutely adore him just like my own). I don't know whether to mention this to my friend so she can maybe see a specialist for him. Some significant features are as below:

1. We can't say words apart from 'mummy and papa'. It is not just the speech but he can't comprehend as well. No knowledge of daily objects or comprehension of simple instruction like 'get a ball'.
2. Doesn't make an eye contact ... Very rare for him to look at you.
3. Doesn't respond very well to his name. (5/10) times.
4. Can't copy ... So if I tried to play peek a boo or jumping or clapping he struggles to copy.
5. Sits in 'W' position which in itself doesn't worry me.
6. Plays no role plays and keeps closing and opening the door.
7. No knowledge of any colors, shapes, numbers, or anything ... Absolutely nothing ... Responds to no nursery rythms.
8. Extremely fussy eater. Friend just puts / drops food in his mouth and he swallows it if he doesn't throw up.

My friends seem oblivious to this or rather they are first time parents so don't know much. Although I feel they do recognize some challenges. Shall I say something and get this little boy some help or leave it??? Or maybe he doesn't need help and will change with age???

In retrospect, with 20:20 hindsight, "oh they all get there in the end" was the wrong thing to say. Since she has raised concerns, I think it would be right to say "I've been thinking about what you said about his speech, and actually now I think about how he compares with other children I know of the same age, he does seem quite a bit delayed in speech and comprehension. It couldn't do any harm to ask a doctor what they think, and to see if there's anything to do to help him catch up."

I wouldn't say anything. I'm sure she has probably noticed; especially as she sees your son. I'd probably feel a bit awkward, but you did say you're really close, so it's a hard one. I'd leave it and see how things go

I wouldn't say anything unless she brings it up. I am sure she is well aware that something is up. She is probably just not ready to talk about it yet.

SAY SOMETHING. Do it in an offhanded comment as suggested above.

Denial is so strong for first time parents, that even if they dismiss what you say, they will still remember it later on.

I say this only because they are in a country that doesn't have the support in place. It might be very late when it is diagnosed otherwise.