Supervising toddler on holiday

[Hermagsjesty]

I am away in Wales with my 2yo, 4yo, DH and MIL and FIL. It's a house they own. They also have a (big) dog.

Who shouldn't be allowed to wander? The dog or your husband?

Oh come on, it's fairly clear what OP is getting at isn't it?

My in laws are nonchalant about safety too OP. Of course a 2 year shouldn't be allowed to wander unsupervised without a safety gate. Are you too far from a town to just go and buy a cheap one? local fb page? don't know how long you will be there. I guess the only alternative is keeping your eyes open.

Get one of those stair gates which just clamps on without needing tools to fit it.

Do not let toddler climb onto the dog or pull tail etc. Always supervise. Anyone who thinks that is overprotective is a twat.

You mean not unsupervised. Spellcheck is not your friend. 4 adults can look after two kids. The dog will help you of course. The dog can do all the babysitting ((flippant)) But I don't really understand your post.

Oh, ok, why not put a heavy chair or a box in front of the stairs. I don't think you should ever 'not supervise' a 2yo tbh, stairgate or no stairgate.

They can't make you not supervise him though, so what is the problem?

My DD has just turned 2, she's safe on the stairs and rarely climbs them without me anyway so my only worry would be going in the kitchen or something.

I think on the whole you're perhaps being a little overprotective.

Now I've read more

Just supervise. From my experience you cannot rely on relatives to do this. Your child is only young for a relatively short time. Divide responsibility between you and your partner so you can both have breaks. It's not enough to assume others are doing their part.

I wouldn't let a 2-year old free range in a rented property to protect the property. Never mind the child. Add a biro to the mix and who knows what could happen?

You know your child, you know the property, you clearly feel uncomfortable and you're on holiday. You should be able to relax, and no-one should be making you feel stupid, least of all your own family. Give your husband a roasting, tell him to support you, stop being an idle feck and do some PARENTING.

With a large dog in the same space, someone needs to supervise both children around it. Unless you completely trust your PIL, then that will have to be you and your DH. If your DH doesn't want to supervise them, then he is being unreasonable. Your PIL shouldn't be commenting either as it's up to you to decide how much supervision your children need.

My DM is like this. I worry too much and then she tells amusing stories about me almost choking and drowning as a child.

Seems like OP has a DH problem.

If you're confident you're NBU in needing to supervise your 2yo around the stairs/other hazards/dog, can't rely on the in laws to do so then it's much like any other (but v important) childcare-sharing scenario where you and H should share the work. If he refuses that's poor and will need to be addressed at an appropriate time; if he seeks to gaslight you by making out you're being irrational that's worse!

Do people actually think that just because your on holiday you dont need to supervise theyre children???

I remember once seeing a child almost drown at the pool because theyre parents were outside having a fag!!

Buy a travel stairgate.

Of course parents need to supervise shazza, it's not the grandparents responsibility to baby proof the house to the OPs specifications though, if she isn't happy without stair gates etc she needs to get some.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow, i totally agree.

Although my kids are now all grown up I think I remember situations like this when we were staying with my inlaws and the kids were just toddlers.

They had a spiteful cat and steep stairs. As soon as we arrived DH would revert to 'child' mode, relax and let his parents smother him. Meanwhile I would be roaming the house, removing low level china from tables, putting tablets left lying in bathroom away in cupboards and following the DSs into the kitchen where they were 'looking' in the knife drawer .
The ILs would say, 'come and sit down, relax, you look so on edge...let the DSs explore, they'll be fine...' They refused to accept that the DSs needed supervising, and were happy to sit drinking tea/ eating cake with their darling son why I was run ragged .

I remember having 'words' with DH about it and agreeing the concept of who was holding the 'responsibility baton' at any point in time - so, taking it in turns in 30 min 'shifts' as it were.

It's your holiday too - you need to make your feelings known!

can't you solve the stair gate problem by sitting on the stairs, or barricading it with a chair (or more chairs) or a big cardboard box?

It's hard work to look after tots in someone else's house

Hope your partner is the type that pulls his weight!

There are no true holidays with toddlers. I remember coming home exhausted from the constant vigilance in places that were unfamiliar and not child friendly. That's how it is. If you would like a real holiday, go away without children.

Thanks so much for your replies. It has helped me get some perspective. It's absolutely not that I expect to be sitting around relaxing myself - I am more than happy playing with the kids in one of their bedrooms without the other adults, it's just I get made to feel rude/ overprotective for doing so - Supermumnot the scenario you describe is very familiar. But I think I need to just smile and ignore and stick to my guns. And I do need to talk to my DH (there are other issues there at the moment, which I think are scewing my perspective on this). And a temporary stairgate is a really simple obvious solution - thanks - should definitely be able to pick one up nearby.