to wonder what to do about our ancient cat

[NothingMoreThanFelines]

Not so much an AIBU as a WWYD. Our cat is 20 and suffering from dementia. She gets very disoriented and wanders from room to room, emitting ear-splitting yowls. Only having her on our laps and stroking her stops the racket (presumably because she knows where she is and feels safe).

This is irritating during the day but is becoming torture at night. Last night she yowled non-stop from about 3 a.m.

My partner, who has to be up early for work, has started muttering darkly about trips to the vet. But she's been my cat for 20 years and we've been through a lot together. I don't feel I can just bump her off when she becomes inconvenient. On the other hand, we need our sleep, as does our 2-year-old DD.

We've taken her to the vet twice to check nothing else is wrong and that she's not in pain, but it really does seem to be just confusion.

WWYD?

Thanks for all the advice, everyone. I'll give the vet a call tomorrow and also repost in The Litter Tray.
It's so hard to know when the time has come. She's physically in great shape for her age, still leaping onto high ledges and keeping our younger cat in line. But mentally she's definitely not herself.

I had to have my old cat pts when she was about 17.

She was suffering. They suspected kidney cancer. She used to start crying in the living room at about 5 am and was so into the wailing she wouldn't notice me coming through from the bedroom. I wonder now about dementia having read your post. She had some very odd behaviour.

Anyway, eventually i realised i was keeping her going because i felt bad and that actually, i wasn't doing her any favours.

We had to say goodbye to our two 18 year old cats recently, one in October and one in February. It was heartbreaking but you know when it is time 🙁

We had to make this heartbreaking decision about 10 years ago. In retrospect, the only regret I had was putting off the decision for too long, and prolonging her suffering. It is a peaceful end for them, much worse for us soppy 'parents'.

It is really tough. I am so sorry. However, personally I would base my decision on whether my cat is in any pain or distress. I wouldn't put my cat down just because she was becoming difficult at night (and I know that is not your real reason, and understand how difficult it is). But I think that putting up with difficulties in old age in animals is part of having them and loving them for their whole lives. So take the vet's advice. If he thinks your cat is unhappy then I think you know the very sad answer to your dilemma.

I've just spoken to the vet, who was lovely. She said it's very hard to judge whether a confused cat is actually in distress. We've got an appointment on Thursday morning, where they'll take blood to rule out hypothyroidism, which apparently can cause yowling. At the last visit, the vet examined her and couldn't find a goitre, which would be a physical sign of the condition, but the blood test will rule it out or in definitively. If the test comes back clear, there'll be the option of trying anti-dementia meds, which increase bloodflow to the brain. Apparently results are mixed, but it could be worth a shot. Fingers crossed!