To think we are very adverage

[Wineandcheases]

What ever that may be !
On another thread it was suggested that we work a lot of hours and a comment of - "how do you have time for family life I hope it's worth it "- has stuck
Husband does 50 and I do Aprox 25 ( reduced as have dc )
We aren't greedy we need to live . This does give us extras but we aren't loaded so to speak .
Can I ask how many hours the adults in your family do ? Do you find it hard ?

[Rainbowcolours1]

I do 60+, often nearer 70, comes with being a head. My DH does 40 - 60, includes weekends and evenings, no regular pattern. We've had to juggle when the Children were young, helped by having a wonderful friend who helped with the Children, housework etc. we both love our jobs, the children are uni age now and are great, doesn't work for everyone though....we will be retiring well before 60!

[Mistigri]

I don't work regular hours as my contract, although full-time, is flexible. Sometimes I work very long hours, when I'm travelling or have deadlines to meet. At other times I work much less.

DH has his own business so he decides his own hours. He'll often work intensively over 3-4 days on a big project, then take a few days off.

I am conscious of being very fortunate in terms of work-life balance, as we both have a fair bit of control over how and when we work - DH is good enough at what he does to be able to turn down work without penalty (clients think they are lucky if they manage to book him), and I'm very experienced at what I do so I am able to manage my time, and my boss's expectations, very effectively!

That said, I will need to do an hour's unpaid work today as there is a time-critical task that needs doing even on a bank holiday ... flexibility cuts both ways.

[edwinbear]

DH does 50 + 15 hrs commuting. I work pt mon-thurs doing 40 hrs (excluding my commute). Dc's go to a private school which we all love so we think it's worth it - just about, but it is tough.

[megletthesecond]

I do 18. I'm a total lp. No nice stuff and no holidays but that's preferable to ruining the last shreds of my mental and physical health.

[PinkBallerina]

I am a SAHP so i don't work at all .
DH works about 70-80 hours a week. I hate it but he works for himself and it is required just to keep the company above water. I do everything there is to do at home and for the DC.
On Good Friday (when naturally DH was working) i took the DCs to visit a friend. Her DH sat on the sofa the whole time we were there, just chatting, watching a bit of TV and fiddling on his ipad, totally carefree. It made me realise, DH NEVER does this. It actually made me quite sad.

[Redinthefacegirl]

DH and I both work 28hrs a week, we've had DC late so are fairly senior in our roles, not paid big bucks as it's NHS but okay. We work opposite shifts so essentially get 1.5WTE with no childcare costs. I feel lucky, not rich but also not under financial pressure and the stress that brings. We both get a lot of time with DC but not that much with each other. Definitely can't moan seeing the hours some of you work though!

[Ludwsys]

Dh works 37.5 hours but travels about 2 hours a day on top of that, plus he does a voluntary coaching job, I work 34. We have plenty of time together and take the dcs to loads of activities each week. It's the house that suffers, I find, it's the area of life that gets sacrificed, sadly, as iI'd like a tidier/cleaner home.

[Aducknotallama]

I do about 50 hours a week. Only me and teenage ds

[HandsomeGroomGiveHerRoom]

A standard FT day would be 8 hours (including 30 mins unpaid but legally required break). I imagine 30 minutes each way is a pretty normal commute. So that's (9 hours a day 5 days a week) 2 adults = 90.

I'm single, so for my household it's (9 hours a day 5 days a week) 1 adult = 45, but my salary is above the mean average, the rent on my crappy flat is cheap and my ds is old enough not to need childcare, so I'm not too badly off.

I have no idea how couples on lower salaries manage working only 50hrs a week or so between them. I'm a bit in awe tbh.

[bakingaddict]

I work 50hrs a week including travel DH about the same but works from home a couple of days a week. I've not long started in this job so have to do full time hours but maybe next year will look to reduce to 30 as homework for DS in Yr3 takes up a lot of the evenings.
I have a cleaner and DH who do most of the housework leaving me to do cooking and online food shopping. We don't work weekends and our jobs enable us to have a nice lifestyle, 3 holidays a year, days out and own a 4 bed house.

[Birdsgottafly]

I've done 60 hour weeks, when my children were little and around 40, as a Widowed LP.

I'm now 48 and my friends are similar and older.

We are now struggling to find the hours that we would like, we are all happy to work 50 hours +.

We were discussing this, saying how ridiculous it is that are most intense working period is when we have children and although we are in good health/energy levels, we are now being put on the scrap heap, yet we can go to work without interruptions that family life can bring and concentrate more fully on work.

[Tanito279]

I work 28 hours a week, single parent. Thank goodness for benefits.

[theredjellybean]

including commuting/travel i work 70 hr + week, DP works 60-80 hr a week , we have teenagers and uni aged children so its not such an issue
when i was married i did 60-80 weeks , and exdh did 35 ...we both liked lifestyle my job and willingness to work long hrs gave but over time i became resentful that i was doggedly working up the ladder and exdh was frankly not bothering as much yet enjoying the rewards...it was one of many things that caused marriage to end

[Piemernator]

I have worked a 50 hour week in the past, it certainly isn't great but that was the role and at least I earned a decent salary. It must be shit if you are on low pay.

DH still works those kind of hours but some of it is at home and he has quite good flexibility.

My friend works a 40 hour week but commutes for at least 4 hours a day, she is absolutely wrecked by this and I fear for her long term health.

Those long hours when younger have stood me in good stead as I have now officially retired before 50. We still have a secondary school age child and the pressure removed now I'm at home for both of us is great. I do have some health issues, if they hadn't developed I would still be working.

[MardAsSnails]

I'm 50-60 hours depending if I do anything from home. 30-45 min each way commute on top.

DH does 60-70 per week, with a 5 min commute.

I win the bread in our house we both work extremely hard in very stressful jobs, and thankfully get paid accordingly.

We have full time home help though, it's the only way we'd manage to eat anything other than pizza otherwise.

[BigGlasses]

I am out of the house 8.30 -6pm each day which includes a 20 min commute each way. I work through lunch normally, so probably do 42.5 hours a week. I an contracted for 36.25

DH is out of the house 8.25 - 5.15 each day which includes a 5 min commute each way. He is contracted for 40 hours which he does, and he gets any overtime back as time in lieu

[WorraLiberty]

DH does 40 and I do 10.

[HandsomeGroomGiveHerRoom]

Looking back, the hardest period I had was when I was working 40 hours but had a 3 hour a day commute and a shit salary. I barely saw ds on weekdays. My ex did the same hours, but earned more so had a car, bringing his commute down to an hour a day. Seems fair

Working fewer hours but receiving CTs as a LP with a preschooler was OK, but I never really had the funds to fully enjoy the extra time we had. It was ok in nice weather, but when the weather was crap being stuck at home was a bit pants.

[Natsku]

I don't work at all right now but will be starting a work placement next month hopefully but will do only one or two days a week and probably no more than 5 or 6 hours.

OH's hours vary as he works in a micro business with his dad so it depends on what work is available but usually he leaves for work at 7 or 8 and is done by early afternoon so roughly 30-35 hours a week plus he spends about 4 hours a week on paperwork but he can do that at home. Some weeks though he can be working 12 hour days.

This works well for us, we don't have a lot of money (we could have more but OH only takes a small pay each month preferring most of the money to stay invested in the business) but we do get lots of family time.

[GinandJag]

I do about 50 hours (teacher) and DH about 55 (industry), but travelling every 3-4 weeks.

I am home by 4pm every day so plenty of time for family. I don't work in the evenings or weekends.

[GreatFuckability]

Single parent and I am in uni so around 30 hours a week out of the house and then any work on top.

[gentlydownthestreammm]

DH does about 50, me about 40 (not including lunchbreaks)

The killer is that I have an hour commute each way and DP has about 1.5 hrs each way. But the commutes are often v unpredictable wrt traffic, public transport problems etc.

It is already very hard for us to have DSD during the week, though we do! It means on those days DH's commute goes up to about 2.5 hrs each way taking into account school runs.

I cannot see how bringing another child into play would be possible! One of us would have to make big career sacrifices, but I don't think either of us would want to be a SAHP. Luckily neither of us is feeling broody...

When I see people around me working full time with comparable commutes AND children...I just feel full of horror, it seems like hell, the stressful race across town to get them from after school club, the extra household chores and total lack of 'me' time. I think the part of me that would normally think the joys of having a child would make all that worth it, is broken or absent.

[HandsomeGroomGiveHerRoom]

Gently, there are weekends, mornings and evenings. It doesn't have to be that dreadful, honestly.

[Stripyhoglets]

DH 37. Me 25 - I am thinking of going up to 30 as new boss is good about flexible working so can do some from home. And we could do with the money.

[LadyMaryofDownt0n]

40 hours each, some weeks I do 50. I work shifts so it's not always possible to have sleep & family time. I usually have to pick between the two.

This week we've had no family time so far but me & DH managed to get out for dinner for the first time in a year. We couldn't believe it had been that long.

This week coming I've organised an Easter egg hunt, Disney on ice, a concert & an other meal out with DH. This will be a good week. oh & I've even managed to squeeze in a playdate tomorrow for all three kids :)