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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Okay - genuine AIBU!

48 replies

blossomhoneymoon · 26/03/2016 22:15

If I am I will smile and accept it and say thank you :)

Gave a lift to a colleague who if I am honest I don't really like, she often puts me in the position of giving her a lift. At some point during the journey, my sunglasses fell on the car floor. I stopped at the garage for fuel and she got out as well to get a drink. Got back in the car and crunch - she trod on and broke my sunglasses.

She squealed (repeatedly) and kept saying they had broken but didn't apologise. AIBU to think she should really have offered to replace them?

OP posts:
neonrainbow · 26/03/2016 22:16

Yes she should. How much are they worth?

nam207 · 26/03/2016 22:16

I would have offered had it been me.

Farandole · 26/03/2016 22:16

Yes she should have. YANBU.

Enkopkaffetak · 26/03/2016 22:17

YANBU at a minimum an apology.

Original poster
blossomhoneymoon · 26/03/2016 22:18

They weren't hugely expensive but they weren't £5 from the market either, I think they were about £20 from Top Shop? I wouldn't have accepted it if she had offered and been really apologetic but she was so dismissive.

OP posts:
OneLove10 · 26/03/2016 22:19

It sounds like a mistake but she should have offered an apology.

RubbleBubble00 · 26/03/2016 22:19

apart from not liking this person, it was an accident. Guess neither of you saw the glasses fall in the floor. Would have been polite of her to offer money for replacement but she shouldn't be made to pay.

Coldtoeswarmheart · 26/03/2016 22:19

YANBU.

Iamcheeseman · 26/03/2016 22:20

When you say they fell on the floor- did they fall in her footwell? If so why didn't she pick them up at the time? And yes- she knew they were there so her fault. If she got in your car without knowing to check for anything she might stand on and break- you fault.

sonlypuppyfat · 26/03/2016 22:21

My mum smashed an ornament of mine once, she said it's OK she didn't like it anyway

Original poster
blossomhoneymoon · 26/03/2016 22:22

They fell in her footwell, yes.

It was absolutely an accident but an avoidable one if she'd just glanced at the floor Sad I get that accidents happen and i definitely wouldn't be demanding money with menaces or anything but if I'd done it I know I'd have apologised loads and offered to pay and then that whole 'no, no, it's fine, oh no I insist, no, please, I wouldn't hear of it ...' exchange would happen! Grin

OP posts:
Gwenci · 26/03/2016 22:24

YANBU from me. I'd apologise profusely if I accidentally broke someone's sunglasses. I'd also offer to buy replacements.

If I were the owner of the broken sunglasses I wouldn't accept any money but would be glad of the apology.

Even if it was accidental, you still apologise.

LogicalThinking · 26/03/2016 22:25

Did she know they were on the floor?
Why hadn't you or she picked them up when you stopped at the garage?
It does seem like it was clearly an accident. I wouldn't expect someone to pay for breaking something that I had dropped that they then trod on.

Creampastry · 26/03/2016 22:27

No more lifts for her - tell her you're glasses shopping!

Iamcheeseman · 26/03/2016 22:27

Hmmm. I really think it depends if she knew they fell? If I got in a friend's car, either at the start of a journey or getting back in after a stop, I wouldn't think to check the footwell. If glasses are in there they are likely to get stood on! Maybe she really wouldn't be able to pay for a replacement which is why she didn't offer.

SoupDragon · 26/03/2016 22:41

Do you look in the footwell of a car before getting in? When you only got out of it a few minutes earlier...? Really?

you should find somewhere safer for your stuff. If they'd fallen in your footwell it could have been be dangerous.

WeAllHaveWings · 26/03/2016 22:54

YABVU to think she should replace them. If she was not expecting dark glasses on a dark floor its an accident the she reasonably could not have foreseen. On the other hand you could have had your sunglasses safe place.

YANBU to expect her to say "sorry I didn't see them", but its not really her fault they were there.

I think your feelings for this woman are clouding your judgement.

angielou123 · 26/03/2016 23:04

She should absolutely replace them and i can't believe she didn't apologise either! I would not be giving her any more lifts. You need to show her your not a pushover.

SecretsAndStuff21 · 26/03/2016 23:04

Regardless of whether it was an accident or not, the vast majority of people would have apologised profusely and offered to pay for a new pair.
Even if he had told them that is okay, I think it would be the pretty standard to make amends by way of a bunch of flowers or a gift voucher.
Don't offer a lift again. Not because of the accident ,but because she feels entitled to a lift.
I accept a lot of people don't drive, but most will offer to pay towards the cost of fuel or buy the occasional bottle of wine or whatever.

Vintage45 · 27/03/2016 00:12

I'd also not offer her any more lifts. I wouldn't have offered to pay due to where they were but I'd certainly have offered a contribution.

I have a colleague who was going on a date straight from work one evening and it was bucketing down so I offered her my umbrella, The next time I saw her I asked for it back, she had the cheek to say she got pissed and left it in the pub and who remembers to pick up an umbrella in that situation :/

She's one of these.

EveryoneElsie · 27/03/2016 00:15

Even if it was an accident, just saying 'ooh they're broken' is twattish. I wouldnt give her any more lifts. I would have offered to replace them, as well as offering petrol money.

incandescentalright · 27/03/2016 18:10

I actually think YABU, presuming she didn't know they were down there (ie hadn't seen them fall). It's not her fault that they fell, she didn't expect that there would be breakable items at her feet. If I broke something by standing on it in someone's car in circumstances where I had no idea that the thing was on the floor in the first place, I'm not convinced that I'd pay. And anyway, she presumably hasn't offered because she doesn't know they're £20 topshop ones. Sunglasses can be pricey, esp if they're prescription - I don't think she can be blamed for not offering a blank cheque. I'd just ask her if you want the cash -- it's not like she's a friend anyway so nothing to lose.

usual · 27/03/2016 18:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GirlOverboard · 27/03/2016 18:33

YABU. She didn't know the sunglasses were there. You can't leave a fragile item in the footwell of your car and then get pissed off when a passenger treads on them. It's entirely your responsibility. And why would she need to 'glance' at the footwell before getting in, when she'd only exited the car two minutes ago? In her position, I probably would have said sorry out of habit (because I apologise for everything), but there's no way I would be offering to pay for a replacement pair.

Original poster
blossomhoneymoon · 27/03/2016 18:36

Thanks. The sunglasses fell as we were driving along into her side and then she got out, got back again and - crunch!

OP posts:
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