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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think bathing with your kids is totally fine and normal?

45 replies

Notimefortossers · 26/03/2016 18:58

So there's a post flying around on fb with a pic of a Dad and his little girl, looks about 3, in the bath all covered up with bubbles. The caption reads 'Is this acceptable?'

I'm so shocked at the hundreds of comments saying how wrong it is!

We've always bathed with ours when they are little and I did with my parents as a kid. AIBU to think there's nothing wrong with it and this is just the world gone mad?

Obviously there's a line. There was a thread on here a while back about a Dad bathing with his 11 year old daughter and mum went up to find the door locked. When reading it I asked my DH if he would still bath with our 7 year old, as it just made me realise they hadn't for quite a while. He said 'Only just'. Then after some reflection he said 'Actually I don't think I would, would feel weird now'. It made me a bit sad that she'd grown up that much that those days were over and I'd not noticed them slipping away! Used to love listening to them playing 'You're wet', splashing each other soaking up my bathroom floor! and laughing their heads off from the next room :(

There are people commenting on that post saying that a father should NEVER be naked in front of his daughter! Really?! Is it me?

OP posts:

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 26/03/2016 21:28

the only thing wrong with it is that someone saw fit to post it in a public domain.

Danglyweed · 26/03/2016 21:31

My dh was called a paedo for having a bath with our baby dd

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 26/03/2016 21:33

I used to bathe with DD until she was about 3-4. Two precautions: hand in front of the nads, and NEVER start a farting contest

mumoseven · 26/03/2016 21:42

Kids in the bath with you? Ffs is there no escape from the blighters?
To be serious, its not what I've ever done, but I don't care if anyone else does.

Catvsworld · 26/03/2016 21:47

Nothing wrong with bathing with your kids

there is however somthing wrong with taking a picture of it a posting on line

Bunbaker · 26/03/2016 21:48

I never wanted to share a bath with DD. For a start I like the water much hotter than she would have tolerated.

Also bathtime is, and always has been, me time.

Catvsworld · 26/03/2016 21:52

I do this vary rarely as dd has a bath and I like a shower witch she hates

I think the reaction is mainly to the picture being taken of it all

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 26/03/2016 21:53

Cold water - being splashed - spiky toys - having to sit up - half inch of water - no wine - no book - being talked at to -

No thanks!!!

SirVixofVixHall · 26/03/2016 21:56

I used to bath with my dds, but I like the calm of having the tub to myself now they are bigger. They would both happily squash in with me if they could (8 and 11). DH bathed with them when they were tiny. He stopped when they started pointing at his naked form and howling with laughter...poor bloke.

dementedma · 26/03/2016 21:56

Have never ever shared a bath with the dcs and never will. Mind you they are now 25,22 and 14 so the situation is unlikely to arise. Can't see the point or the pleasure in it. My bath, my time. Get your own bath.

foxessocks · 26/03/2016 22:00

I have only had a bath with my dd a couple of times because I like very hot baths and hate sitting in luke warm water! She also always grabs my nipples! (She's 2!). My dh had a bath with her once when she was about 1 probably but he hates baths and only did because she was going through a scared of the bath stage and we thought it might help. Anyway, she loves her baths now and is perfectly happy in there on her own with us playing with her from outside!

That said I know my dad used to have baths with me and my brother she we were little, I don't really remember it so I must have been younger than 4 probably. But it's absolutely not a problem!

SleepyBoBo · 26/03/2016 22:02

I'm another in the camp of 'no issue with other parents bathing with their kids, but it will never happen with me - bobo doesn't share baths!'.

Anyway, I'm half lobster, it wouldn't be ok for any of my offspring to bath with me unless I was trying to shrink them. The only person I know who likes extra hot baths is my sister, and I'm long past sharing with her.

There is a line, most kids would natually stop bathing with parents, but I think it has to stop by the time children are reaching puberty.

Undercooked · 26/03/2016 22:05

I love bathing with the kids. When I'm cold and tired and I've run out of ideas to amuse them I run a bath and in we get. I've made them get used to hot water and I just wallow while they splash and sculpt the bubbles.

Parrotmore · 26/03/2016 22:08

Bloody hell my 11 year old sits on the loo and chats to me while I'm in the shower I'm not ashamed and sometime any of my kids might come in the shower with me or I'll hop in with them for time sake really! It's just nakedness. It's NOT indicative of child abuse!!

artisanroast · 26/03/2016 22:17

Personally I think its good, right and normal for parents to bath with their children.

I feel overall it encourages them to see what normal naked adult human bodies look like. Due to genetics their bodies will probably look similar one day!

Although slightly more extreme I also see nothing wrong with nudist beaches and have been on them a few times for an all over tan... me and the fat germans! ha! DH refuses to lose the swimming shorts! Then again I have always been a bit of an exhibitionist...

HoundoftheBaskervilles · 26/03/2016 22:34

Ahh Sleepy I'm an extra-hot bath lover, and I always have to add copious amounts of cold when the DCs get in - which irks. If DH jumps into my water when I've vacated because it's gone cold he always leaps out clutching his balls due to the near boiling level I like to soak at.

Re the PP that questioned it being sad when you can't bathe with them any more, of course you can do other things with them, it's more of a sadness of the passing of time, that that easy physical intimacy will be lost with the onset of puberty, they won't want to any more, that's when the separation starts (which is absolutely right and proper), but it's the start of them not being children any more and the start of them being adults.

Which is sad because life streams along, as Mr Buller once said, 'Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it'.

Have you seen the film Boyhood? It's that kind of sad, it's bittersweet.

dottycat123 · 26/03/2016 22:47

Depends on what everyone in the house is comfortable with, I had to stop my 2ds getting in the bath with me when they were about 11 (big corner bath). We all walk around naked,it's a non issue. This afternoon I have sat in bathroom and chatted to ds1 aged 19 whilst he was in the bath. No one ever seemed to become body conscious as teenagers in this house.

BumpTheElephant · 26/03/2016 23:12

The only time I have ever bathed with mine is when they were babies and only a handful of times. I don't think there's anything wrong with it though, I'd just rather not.

BackforGood · 26/03/2016 23:13

I've never seen the appeal of bathing with the dc - either from the pov of me missing that one relaxing 10 mins in the week by having a bath on my own, but, more practically from a having to be standing there wet whilst I dry them first, type of situation.
That said, there's nothing wrong with a 3 yr old bathing with either parent, however, it is slightly weird to post a picture on FB doing so.

HoundoftheBaskervilles · 26/03/2016 23:37

I don't see the issue with the photo really, presumably it was a nice father-daughter shot.

If you post photos of you and your children I don't see why this should be considered to be anything different.

There's nothing inherently 'wrong' with it, and if you're happy to share photos of your children online I can't see why this should be taken as anything other.

There are plenty of depictions in art of naked parents and children, they show the intimacy of the relationship, and I think that's a beautiful thing. Parent-child bonds are by their very nature intimate, they came from your body and may have fed from your breast.

There should be no shame in that

We do live in strange hyper-sexualised times though, where dark meanings can be gleaned through perfectly natural parent-child relationships and any hint of nudity is branded as sexual and wrong, whilst at the same time sexualtity is being thrust at us and used to sell us all manner of consumables. It's pretty fucking twisted.

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