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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not have time for "tummy time"?

97 replies

andiflondonburns · 26/03/2016 12:31

my daughter is 3.5 months

i don't have time to do tummy time (single parent + other things) and the times i've done it the past i don't feel comfortable when i've done it, i know you pick them up when they start to show signs that they're not happy and sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind and all that but there's nothing else developmentally where i have to watch her struggle

is it really necessary? I'm quite happy for her to crawl later than she would have done with tummy time.....will she miss out with brain development?

surely she will do it herself when she's ready, once she's worked out how to get on her front? She can almost get herself on her side already.
thanks for any constructive advice/support!

OP posts:

Summerisle1 · 26/03/2016 13:39

I'm another old gimmer who knew nothing of formal 'tummy time' (it didn't need to exist back in our day!) but it does occur to me that an absence of time to do it seems a rather strange excuse. You have time to feed, change, play and generally interact with your baby? Then you have time to put her down on a mat for a couple of minutes.

LizKeen · 26/03/2016 13:40

If you don't like doing it then don't. But I really can't see how you don't have 5 mins for your 3.5month old.

Make time for your child.

foragogo · 26/03/2016 13:40

I have 3 boys all hated tummy time and I never really did it with any of them. they can all walk, run, jump, play football, rugby, cricket, do gymnastics, martial arts etc etc now. I don't think it is necessary if the baby is receiving plenty of other interaction and stimulation and suspect it was put in place to catch the borderline neglect cases were babies were just left in cots and playpens for hours at a time.

RoganJosh · 26/03/2016 13:44

I'm sure you're doing it without realising. All the time you are carrying them over your shoulder, draping them tummy down on your knee etc. It all helps.

SylviaWrath · 26/03/2016 13:46

How can you not have time to put the baby on her front instead of her back for ten minutes?

Sirzy · 26/03/2016 13:47

I am with others as to not understanding how you don't have time?

Lying them in their front to play for a few minutes is all it takes.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 26/03/2016 13:51

It did used to help when mine had wind. They would fart like it was going out of fashion
It wasn't called 'tummy time' in those days, just 'lying on their front.'

wannadancethenightaway · 26/03/2016 13:53

dementedma I like you

educatingarti · 26/03/2016 13:53

Foragogo. Just because your 3 boys have been lucky and have developed fine, doesn't mean that all children will! Children need to develop core stability and shoulder strength. Tummy time is a fairly easy way of helping them do this!

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 26/03/2016 13:56

I do wonder if a lack of tummy time causes some babies to be 'bum shufflers' instead of crawlers? There was a lovely bum shuffling baby in the doctors when I went recently and I found it fascinating.

captaincake · 26/03/2016 14:04

My DS couldn't do tummy time due to his severe reflux. His paediatrician told us not to. He spent most of his time in a sling or his babybjorn bouncer chair in the most upright position. At 22m now his gross motor skills are rather ahead of his peers. He can't talk though.

LoopiusMaximus · 26/03/2016 14:05

Without sounding nosy, can I ask how or why you don't have time? I'm just intrigued. All you have to do roll baby onto their front and leave for 30 secs to a minute. Once or twice a day. That's it. I have a 14 mo and 10 wk old and I find time to do plenty of stuff with both of them.

Baboooshka · 26/03/2016 14:09

YANBU to avoid tummy time (or whatever we're calling it) if your DD is always very distressed. I know some babies hate it.

But if it's just the sight of her struggling that's putting you off, then I think you need to realise that her development will be a series of struggles, and you can't avoid that just because it makes you feel bad. It''ll be the same for many other milestones: crawling, walking, feeding herself, getting dressed. Muscle tone and motor control doesn't just appear overnight. You have to sit back and let them develop. It's got nothing to do with being 'cruel to be kind' (so long as she's not upset).

Also, another one here wondering how it's impossible to spare a few minutes for tummy time, when she's already on the floor or playmat. I know babies spend a lot of time in cot/pram/sling/your arms/bouncer, but that's not all day.

TheCrumpettyTree · 26/03/2016 14:12

You don't have time to do tummy time? It's a few minutes. What are you going to do when your days are filled with weaning and picking up after a toddler.

It's a good thing to do now babies are sleeping on their backs, helps strengthen their core muscles and helps stopping them getting a flat head. You don't have to put them in the floor, they can do it on you.

TheCrumpettyTree · 26/03/2016 14:14

Or on the floor. Don't put them in the floor.

NerrSnerr · 26/03/2016 14:16

My daughter wasn't keen on tummy time so we only did it for short periods. I would also lay her on my chest as that counts too.

I am curious to know what you are doing with your day if you don't have time to do it, it's only a few minutes here and there.

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 26/03/2016 14:18

No idea if it 'matters' or not, but why does putting her on her tummy take any longer than being on her back?

If she's 3.5 months, you must be doing things with her. Why not make some of it tummy time?

MrsTerryPratchett · 26/03/2016 14:21

My daughter wasn't keen on tummy time so we only did it for short periods. I would also lay her on my chest as that counts too.

Dittto. I have a friend whose child has a completely flat back. Completely flat. That is what you are avoiding. He was a very content and therefore completely immobile child, who would lie happily for hours on his back.

People saying 'it wasn't a thing' 50 years ago? That's because back to sleep wasn't a thing and babies didn't get flat heads as much.

Guitargirl · 26/03/2016 14:27

I remember doing tummy time with DC1 who hated it. She would cry pretty much straight away until I gave up and turned her over.

With DC2 I sort of, um, forgot .

They are now aged 9 and 7 with no discernible difference in back flatness or upper body strength .

I agree with the others though. If you struggle to have time for this, you will find it a lot more difficult when it comes to finding time to papier-macheing a volcano and all the other crap you have to 'help them with' (do for them) in primary school.

Sparklingbrook · 26/03/2016 14:34

I have two DC of 14 and 16, I had never heard of tummy time, but neither of them were put to sleep on their front as guidelines were not to. Both met milestones like sitting up/crawling and walking at the usual time

They both seem ok -is it too late to start?

I wouldn't worry about it, but as others have said there will be many more time consuming things as they grow up.

LaurieMarlow · 26/03/2016 14:49

It really doesn't matter - unless they're on their back literally all of the time. If they're in a sling, held in your arms with head up, I wouldn't worry.

MrsJayy · 26/03/2016 15:05

Before it was called tummy time in the dark ages i used to put dds on their fronts at nappy changes or lie them over my lap for a few minutes in the evening i dont understand how you dont have time howerver you dont have to do it if you dont want

SuperSue77 · 26/03/2016 15:07

My youngest are 4 yrs now, so my memory is a bit hazy, but I totally get how difficult it is to find to do these things. You don't want to do it straight after milk as she might sick it up, or while she's feeding for that matter and you can't while she's sleeping or you're changing her nappy. You can't do it while you're travelling somewhere in car or pushchair and you can't always do it while you're at other people's houses in case she's sick on their carpet, or you aren't sure how clean their floor is! Sometimes you're so bloody exhausted from being a single parent and having a 3.5 month old that when you do have a moment to yourself you might want to just sit and have a cuddle with your gorgeous daughter, rather than put her down on the floor and watch her slightly distressed. Ignore these people berating you for "not having time" I felt exactly the same with my children at that age. They don't know you or the stuff you have going on in your life, and they are fortunate that they found it easy to find the time to do this stuff.

So mine didn't get huge amounts of tummy time and are all fine. Practical suggestions as to how you could try to fit more tummy time have probably been made already, I didn't have time to read all posts, but I had one of those mats that baby can lie on and play with toys in front of her, and when I was able to get to a play group they often had those sorts of things that I could use there. The thing I found helped most was that I had a Homestart volunteer who came round for two or three hours once a week and I could ask her to do things like tummy time with the baby while I ran around doing all the stuff I needed to get done. I really recommend Homestart, if they have them in your area. Google it and see if they are local to you. They are a charity who send volunteers to help families with children under 5 yrs who could do with either some help or just a friend. I contacted them because I had baby twins and an older child, was struggling to get time with them all and just get stuff done, and I had a husband at home too, though full time working. My volunteer was lovely and really helped to get the things done that I could never seem to find the time to do.

All the best!

HopelesslydevotedtoGu · 26/03/2016 15:07

At a baby movement class I was told that carrying baby in a sling rather than a pram made tummy time less important as they are using their core muscles to look around in the sling. My baby hated tummy time when little and so I kept it very short- maybe even 20 secs at a time- and she was upright in her sling a lot. Once she could push up off the ground she loved tummy time.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 26/03/2016 15:11

My understanding was that "tummy" time was just having baby in a position other than flat on their back?

DD hated it if I tried to plonk her on her front on the floor so I didn't do it - but she was hardly ever flat on her back (except sleeping)

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