It seems to be the norm more and more that being a total flake because you have a child is normal.
I don't mean the totally normal times where you can't meet as you child is ill/ over-tired or the boiler packs up but those ones that give no reason/ always do it/ their pumpkin just decides not to 3 minutes after the meeting time/ just don't turn up. It seems to be normal lately with the newer mums I meet. I have 5 and it was rare with the older ones, but with the youngest it a nightmare and I find it so damn rude.
We have locally lots of established friends and a open local social group, we often organise simple events together. We could easily keep it very closed but we're not cliquey and it's nice for the youngest to meet their own new friends sometimes, so often we'll openly welcome people either when meeting or with a facebook post.
I organised an event recently that was near free to do so but needed a rough idea of numbers to prepare for, it was WAY more popular than I expected, about 20/30 people jumped in on facebook... and the usual 5 + 2 more turned up.
-Most just didn't come
-One said 20 min before their child had changed their mind
-One we waited to start for as they said they were close by and confirmed directions, then didn't come without another word so we hung around the meeting point
-Two were so late the other kids were getting very wound up wanting to start
-The extra two didn't contribute as everyone was asked to do (we spent 50P - £1 each roughly on shared sweets) then were obviously put out when there wasn't enough and their child wanted a whole chocolate bar and got half.
They all had contact details to say...
Also if you bloody invite a nursery friend the typical response is half an hour before, 'oh we're not coming now, we'll come on x instead'. Er...no. Firstly we're busy and secondly my child is now rather upset that their fun is cancelled at the last minute. Not happening twice. Not even a reason, fair enough if something happened but the first few times it happened I asked and was told things like 'oh we decided to stay at the park/ get milk/ her friend knocked. I've wised up and don't tell the 3 yr old in advance now.
Or school friends... I've learnt to still go to the school to SEE them being collected, since I had a call the 6 yr old was still there. After I'd texted the mum to confirm at 2!
It's so bloody NORMAL round here now
My rant is triggered by the fact I've just been called cliquey! I told about a new event where tickets must be booked and I've only done it for new people/ those that turn up or politely cancel for fair reason. I've told others by PM how to self book, quite politely considering I felt like saying 'fuck off' to their 'int' or 'poss int'. Another jumped in with how her child was upset I didn't rearrange a playdate, after she just didn't come round the first time but of course that's just FINE....
I only do it because my kids love it so much, but I'm just becoming very very openly intolerant lately.
Is this nationwide? Or do I need to move...?