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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To consider having a 17 year old au pair?

22 replies

PinPon · 23/03/2016 20:00

DH and I have pretty much decided that we want an au pair to help us with school / nursery pick ups and after school care for our two children (will be 4 and 6). The au pair would walk them home from school and look after them on her own for about 3 hours every day, plus occasional babysitting.

There are two au pairs that we like a lot and are trying to decide between. Both would come from the same European country and are keen to stay for a year. One is 17 (would turn 18 shortly after arriving) and the other is 22. We have a slight preference for the 17 year old, as she likes doing hobbies that we enjoy and her English is better.

Would we be mad to go with the 17 year old au pair?

OP posts:

Original poster

PinPon · 23/03/2016 20:15

Anyone? I don't really know many 17 year olds (or many au pairs!) so would appreciate your views.

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MatildaTheCat · 23/03/2016 20:21

Does she have much childcare experience? That's quite a few hours plus, presumably feeding them and even doing homework etc? Taking and collecting from play dates? Housework?

17 is very young. She may get homesick and you may feel the need to mother her and feel worried about her. However,mif you can offer her good support and be there to supervise at the beginning it could be fine.

MrsTerryPratchett · 23/03/2016 20:23

I lived for a year away volunteering at just 18. I was great! Wasn't homesick, loved my work. Very much depends on the 17 yo.

Justsaynonow · 23/03/2016 20:27

Depends on the 17yo - my dd is 17 and would be very capable of these tasks. She's organized, mature & dependable.

I'd recommend you try the 17yo, especially given that she'll fit better, with the language and hobbies. Maybe less interested in partying, too?

Original poster

PinPon · 23/03/2016 20:29

She seems very independent. Currently she lives away from home during the week (for high school) and goes home at the weekends. She has had babysitting experience and has helped her mum who is a childminder. Will be taking up references...

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Original poster

PinPon · 23/03/2016 20:37

I'm fairly sure she won't really know how to cook . But that's not really a big deal for us.

Think that Justsaynonow is probably right - a 17 year old like MrsTerryPratchett would be fine. I'm worried that I'll worry about her more than an older person.

Matildathecat - it's about 15 hours per week hands on childcare (weekdays only). Yes, a bit of feeding (snack), taking to activities and homework would be required.

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popmimiboo · 23/03/2016 20:39

Not sure where your potential au pairs are from but lots of kids do their bacalaureate at 17 in France (late birthdays or gifted students who are a school year ahead.) There isn't any difference in maturity between a 17 or 18 year old school leaver, IMO. (I teach 1st year post-bac students and the younger ones are often the brighter, more sensible ones.)
I would have no qualms about hiring the 17 year old if you feel she is best suited to your family.

MatildaTheCat · 23/03/2016 20:40

Sounds good. At that age I was very responsible and organised ( student nurse soon after 18) but may have lacked initiative. The DC will probably love her.

NotAMamaYet · 23/03/2016 20:42

I was 17 when I got my au pair job in Paris - turned 18 a month after I got there

Homesick isn't something you can pin an age on, anyone can get homesick. I loved it and with au pairs I found that first instincts are often the best

I was an au pair for two years till I was 19. My age was never a detriment to me

Original poster

PinPon · 23/03/2016 20:46

I think she seems fun and full of energy for the kids, which they will love.

I feel as though I'll be responsible for helping her find friends though. We're close to a university and lots of student housing so, I'm hoping that she'll be able to tap into the large numbers of young people that there are nearby.

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junebirthdaygirl · 23/03/2016 20:56

My dds friend went to France as an aupair at 17 and got in amazingly. She had to mind little twins. I think it would be easier to involve a 17 year old in the family.Also as it would need her first jib she would be all enthuasitic hopefully. I see no problem. At 17 my dd count cook very well as had done it in school and lived baking too.

junebirthdaygirl · 23/03/2016 21:01

So many typos there!

Justsaynonow · 23/03/2016 21:04

I should add my dd cooks very well - more enthusiastically than me, except for cleanup. Though is anyone enthusiastic about cleanup?!

I've suggested she consider ap'ing in the next year or so as she wants to see more of Europe - we'll see. She (and I) are worried about the ongoing unrest, although dd1 is most likely going to school there next year.

Original poster

PinPon · 23/03/2016 22:14

Thanks for sharing your views. It's nice to know that others think it could work out.

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Vanimal · 23/03/2016 22:19

Can I ask where you found your au pair from? It's something I'm considering doing in the next year or two and would like to start seeing what's out there.

Salmiak · 23/03/2016 22:26

I've found that age isn't a great indicator of maturity/capability with au pairs. Most of ours have been wonderful (including a very lovely and sensible 18 year old), the most teenagerish one was actually 26!

If you think she's got the enthusiasm for the job then go for it, she can make friends at language classes or via Facebook ( Google au pairs and your area name).

Putty · 23/03/2016 22:29

It's always a jump into the dark with au pairs of any age. I haven't had any (although I was one, when 18/19. And was totes amazing, obvs. It probably helped that this was millions of years ago and pre-internet so didn't have my face in a screen all of the time.)

I have had friends who had some disastrous au pairs aged 25+ and friends who loved their au pair experience with 18 year olds. I'd go with your gut feeling about the actual person. It's always a temporary thing, whether you love them or hate them. So if it doesn't work out, there is an end in sight and you can move on.

Lonecatwithkitten · 23/03/2016 22:54

I have had two truest super au pairs.
The first was 17 when she arrived and DD was 4. She was brilliant as she actively engaged in playing Barbies etc. with DD.
The second was 24 and DD was 11. She cooked with DD and went for walks with her to the park.

BestZebbie · 23/03/2016 23:25

17 seems fine to me - I had left home to live at uni and done several years of being a young leader in Guiding by a-few-months-before-18, so I am sure that someone applying to be an au pair at 17 could also live away from home and deal with children for three hours a day.

BlueHorizonEyes · 23/03/2016 23:30

I work as a nanny / au pair to a rich div lady with 2 small children I'm 23, no experience as nanny but I have a 5 year old so plenty of experience as a mum!

Original poster

PinPon · 24/03/2016 13:36

All good feedback. Thanks very much for your views. I'm feeling more confident about going with my gut on this now!

Vanimal - have sent you a PM.

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hellsbellsmelons · 24/03/2016 14:08

My DD has a 17 YO friend who looks after a little boy.
She's great. Very mature and a lovely girl (a good influence on my DD, thank goodness)

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