AIBU to think there should have been something for my special birthday

[stopandstandup123]

I have worked for a large organisation for 2.5yrs. I have had so many team managers (if you average it out it works out at one every three months!). Some have not even started but resigned just after being introduced to the team, but before working with us. Not only that, I have changed team several times so now do not know my colleagues very well (just to smile at before we get going) as we are all busy on the phones (call centre). They seem nice but I don't know them.

It was a special birthday for me at the beginning of the month. Not a single card, e-mail, best wishes from anyone, not even my old team or my old team manager. I don't currently have a team manager as they are trying to recruit one, the previous one being in position for less than a week before he went off with stress and then resigned. It is not as if I was unpopular with my colleagues, as I joined in and was invited to several evenings outside work time.

I am really sad. I know it is no one's "fault" but my birthday was up on the wall in my old team area, was told to the team manager who resigned last week and went, and was not a state secret!

Many Happy returns - I'm glad you had a lovely day with your family.

Where I worked, you didn't get cards etc. on your birthday (unless you were the boss in which case it was balloons and sucky up pressies central ), you were expected to bring in cakes for everyone else !

But people did wish you happy birthday because you'd brought cake in so they knew.

It would have been nice if someone had wished you many happy returns though if the birthdays are up on a wall.

I hate people knowing it is my birthday outside of friends and family, it leads to that forced, I dont really care but Happy Birthday type small talk. And I hate small talk.

If others are celebrated it just sounds like with all the changes it slipped through the cracks. Most workplaces don't do it at all but I'm sure it isn't personal.

Everywhere I've worked does birthdays but the firms I've worked for generally have had not more than 26-30 staff and very low turnover of staff so we all know eachother reasonably well. We do collections for significant birthdays, babies, weddings etc. For birthdays the birthday person brings in cakes and sends a 'drinks at the pub at lunchtime' email. It's the email about cakes which usually brings on the 'happy birthday' emails so I think it's down to the person whose birthday it is to put it out there.

I would feel miffed too OP.

Can you send an email round in a 'due to workload (or insert other reason), I didn't have an opportunity to celebrate my birthday on the day. Here are some cakes/please join me in the pub'

Birthdays are for your family and close friends to celebrate with you, not your colleagues.

I'm sorry you're upset, but you are sounding incredibly precious.

As for the trays of fruit which are only shared for certain people, I doubt if that sort of attitude would inspire anyone to go to the effort of having a collection for you. I wouldn't bother with the cake or the hump.

wow grilled you have birthday drinks at the pub on average every other week??

But then I've never worked somewhere where colleagues have known/celebrated a birthday.

Thanks for all your replies. It has made me feel lighter about things and YES I KNOW I am annoyingly precious but I can't help how I feel and this was a milestone birthday. I had a few tears on the drive home from work a few nights ago, more because I just want to feel part of a team and am fed up with the changes and constantly investing in new relationships/team managers who then leave or I am moved to a new team. I found out the other day that two of my old team managers have asked for me to come back to them (more because my figures are so good and I am a good worker!) so there may be light at the end of the tunnel.

Cake solves everything (or chocolate or fruit for the dieters!). I need to get a list of my new team's names (about 30 of them) as I don't know them all and we have currently no manager to ask. I will do the cake thing and send an e-mail re late yummies for all to come, scoff, enjoy!

MitzyLeFrouf - whilst there is nothing " childish about an adult enjoying their own birthday" it is in my view childish to get upset when other adults don't celebrate the birthday - very childish

Here's how it goes down soap:

You take cake into the office.
You email your team saying "it's my 50th birthday everyone, cake on my desk".
Lots of people come and get cake and say "happy birthday" to you.

Or:
You do nothing.
No one knows or cares it's your birthday.

I have never worked at a place that does birthdays. But they have on the whole been very male environments, birthdays are rarely mentioned. Not sure if that makes a difference.

girl, probably about right, yes. I work in an office in the middle of a town so plenty or pubs and bars. We spend 35 hours a week together in a pretty stressful environment. It's good to get out of the office and socialise.

And I just freakiest I put. 26-30 staff. Which is quit specific - should be 25-30 - not much different but less exact!

Oh God. Where did that 'freakiest' come from? Sorry