To take this to the Head again?

[Cloudhopping]

My dd is yr 5. There have been some issues over the last year or so with another girl. It was particularly acute last year for about 6 weeks with excluding behaviour from this other girl, whispering, pointing, laughing etc. This girl is fairly new to the school. My dd became extremely upset for the first time in her school life. I took this to the head on a couple of occasions and he tackled it by talking the girl in question. Things seemed to settle down for a bit but regularly since then, issues have arisen, although they do then settle for a short time.

The behaviour in question is low level, manipulative stuff- ie leaving my dd out, refusing to allow her to join groups, getting up if my dd tries to sit down next to her, causing issues between well established friends and generally shit stirring. Over the last year, 3 other parents of girls in dd's class have been to the head with concerns about her manipulative and excluding behaviour. To set the context, there are less than 10 girls in my dd's class, so it's half of parents (that I know of). I feel that this child is creating a dysfunctional environment for the girls in the class. The head teacher despite the complaints has never involved the girl's parents but has had occasional talks with the class and individuals about respect, friendship etc. AIBU to expect this to be tackled in a different way? AIBU to raise my concerns again about this girl and the effect she is having on class dynamics/ the happiness of the girls or do I have to expect my dd to toughen up?

"bottom line"

(I wasn't insinuating that your dd was telling lies! )

Girl on girl bullying is vile. Do your best to advocate for your child because the school won't.
Despite a modern focus on anti-bullying, schools are much more likely to deal with a fist fight than months of what your DD has been putting up with.

To be frank the girl will no doubt have a different story about falling out, not being included, someone saying something about her etc etc. there is quite often one child who is at the heart of most friendship issues in a class. They are often insecure and therefore seek to find new friends and be the centre of someone else's attention. As a teacher I can tell you this is common. I think though that you are wrong to think that complaining to the head will change this. Chances are the other pupil will be constantly complaining to her parents that people dislike her or leave her out or blame her when things go wrong. She may well believe that this is so. I had a child who was often at the heart of most problems who was constantly upset at home and worried that she didn't have friends or was being left out. Her parents were v worried about her too. The only thing you can do is help your dd to find good friends, give her strategies to deal with the nastiness, report any specific incidents to the class teacher to deal with and then leave it alone. Asking for some kind of action based on the fact that other children have had fall outs or problems with her will not go well. The head cannot go to these parents and say look it's all your dd's fault. They won't believe him. They will probably say she is being made a scapegoat and unfortunately unpicking every bit of low level unkind behaviour is impossible in retrospect.