To think moving back to home town was a really bad idea?

[fugglestone]

We moved out of London a couple of years ago, have two small DC. We moved back to my home town in Wales as we could never have afforded to buy a house in London, DH got a job nearby and a short time later, so did I. Both DC are now settled in school. I thought small town life would be nice for my DC and that it would be safe etc compared to London. I thought being closer to my family would give us a bit more help with the DC. We were also excited about buying our own home in an area we could afford to buy in.
The reality has been pretty disappointing once the initial novelty wore off. My family have not really been available to help us very much due to their own busy lives and tbh I don't feel that close to them anymore having not lived near them for so long. I have reconnected with some old friends but don't feel I have much in common with them anymore. I have tried hard to form a new circle but just haven't really succeeded. I find living in this town completely boring. It reminds me of the boredom of my youth and it depresses me. I don't really think I want this for my DC after all. We can't go back to London as it is out of our reach but I feel like giving up on this whole plan and relocating to another, smaller city. AIBU to disrupt my family again? I feel like an idiot for doing this and that I should have known it was a stupid idea. At the same time I just don't think I can stay here for years for the sake of family stability when the place depresses me so much.

Thank you so much for your words of encouragement misshooliescardigan. Good to know its not just me, I wonder what it is about home towns that inspires such horror?!

You only live once and there is little point being miserable. I would move and would move sooner rather than later.

You could move to a home county surrounding London, as house prices can be more affordable.

xena I have thought about Bristol! What is it like as a place to bring up DCs?

Haven't done it there myself so I can't offer an opinion but I know lots who have and they all sing its praises. It's a great city; lots going on, but also with a really friendly atmosphere that you don't get in a lot of the bigger cities, also really good transport links to London if you want to come back for the day and of course near to the coast for Weston etc if you want to take the kids to the beach. I love Bristol, I very nearly moved there myself a few years back but ended up staying in London.

Bristol very up and comming - big enough but also has a real community vibe and very forward thinking council with stuff like community energy companies etc - mostly very green and eco- friendly as well .
Cardiff also fab
Sighs (tied down by kids in exam years in remote very boring small welsh village)

lertgush I am inspired by your bravery! How long were you in your home town before you made the move?

I was there about five years, then the realisation hit that my children were going to end up going to my old school once they hit secondary school age. Also that it would be better to move while they were still at primary school. It was a surprisingly hard decision to make at the time, because we were giving up an area we knew really well for an area we didn't really know at all. I'd never visited the city we ended up moving to, although I knew the state somewhat. I looked for an area with good schools, the kind of lifestyle I thought we'd enjoy, and affordable houses. Good luck with your decision.

OP I feel your pain. I have moved back to my home city (which is really a town) twice. I really, really wanted it to work but it is just so awkward and uncomfortable. I feel at home but I feel like an "alien". Maybe familiarity breeds contempt, but I just can't connect with many people here. Get out whilst you can. Having lived in London for a number of years I was so glad to get out, but as my DC get older I can definitely see advantages of living there (not that I would move back, but I'm not so judgemental about it). Funnily enough we will move back to Cardiff where my DH is from. It is urban enough for us, easy access to country and coast and a hop, skip and jump away from London. Housing can be expensive and schooling can be tricky, but they are not impossible hurdles to overcome. I love how everything is in fairly easy reach, traffic is not too much a nightmare (it has it's moments, but overall pretty good) and it has just enough buzz about it.

Thanks for posting beachhaven it sounds like you really get where I'm coming from. I could have written some of your exact words, particularly about feeling so awkward and uncomfortable and like an "alien"- I think I may have even said these very words when discussing it with someone recently! Why I would feel this in the place where I'm from and supposed to feel some sense of belonging I don't know. Moving back to London would be too extreme (not to mention cripplingly expensive) for us but I think I would feel a lot better being somewhere that is not my home town and a bit more connected to everything. Thanks for sharing, it is good to know someone can relate. I see people here all the time who have never left and I'm not judging them at all, if anything I feel a little bit envious that they have that sense of belonging and ease. I just feel like I can't relax when I'm here and as if I'm suffocating.

I feel your pain. DH and I deeply regret moving out on London but I can't imagine a way back when the kids are happy in such great schools. I'm not sure I have any advice think we are going to suck it up for a couple of years and see how we feel.

Hello! Old thread but did you decide to move? I have posted that i'm in a similar situation at the moment, DH has said we can move in a year and definitely before DS starts school (he's only 18 months old). We have only been back in my hometown 6 months and I feel so down, like an 'alien' and definitely no longer home to me anymore.