Do I give him the equity?

[lightthelampbabe]

18 months ago I fled an abusive marriage with my children , the marital home has been up for sale ever since and my ex now has substantial mortgage arrears to the point that the building society are threatening repossession. We spoke today and he feels I need to either make a substantial payment to him to cover some of his losses in paying the interest for the last 18 months while it has failed to sell or to sign the entire value over to him. If sold there will probably only be about 40k of equity, repossession would probably leave nothing. He has lived in the property for the last 18 months whereas I'm in rented. He only has around 20k of savings left and can't work, I have absolutely nothing and survive on benefits as our youngest is only 2. Maybe not surprisingly he categorically denies he was in any way abusive and thinks I must have been influenced by someone else to take the action I did.

Where on earth do I find the money or would I be better to sign the potential equity to him?

You certainly don't pay him a lump sum - if you could lay your hands on one (and it sounds as if you couldn't) you could pay the bank. Why does he have £20k savings when he hasn't been paying the mortgage?

Why hasn't the house sold in 18 months? Is it priced too high, is he being obstructive?

Don't sign over the equity! Let it be repossessed if necessary, why should he profit in any way when he's making it clear he doesn't think you should?

Wouldn't pay a penny. Why is he so keen to get you to sign over the house if it's got arrears and liable for repossession? Surely your jointly liable for the arrears at the moment? Does he have a seller?

or is this a nifty trick to get you to sign house over, he clears arrears with savings and then pays mortgage until it's sold, gaining all the profit?

Have you started divorce proceedings?

If you get half the equity, you'll lose some of your benefits?

Not started divorce proceedings yet. No buyer that I'm aware of and he says he doesn't want to throw the last of his savings at the mortgage as he'll have nothing left. Not sold as the asking price is too high for an area where property just isn't selling. He feels he will need every penny to set himself up again. (rent)

I'd get yourself some legal advice ASAP

Lily, I've got no idea what the cut off is for benefits and savings. I owe my dad quite a lot of money and I'd guess when I've paid that there would be little left. Its actually what I owe him that has stopped me signing the equity over so far. (it should be a joint debt but ex said, 'he can go fuck himself if he thinks I'm giving him a penny.')

Well, he'll have nothing left when the house is repo'd either. Cutting his own nose off to spite his face by the sounds, and you expected to pay for the cosmetic surgery to prettify him.

This is just a continuation of his abuse. Tell him to go hang.

Assuming that the mortgage is in joint names you need to get legal advice. It's all very well leaving him to hang (yy to if that is the only issue) but you are also potentially liable I imagine.

You need to speak with the estate agent and set the asking price at a reasonable level. You also need to seek legal advice. Your ex is intentionally holding you to ransom by refusing to sell the house and making you think that you are backed into a corner, financially.

You're not. He is doing this on purpose in order to get the house. No two ways about this.

You also need to start divorce proceedings.

How high is the house overpriced? Would reducing the price wipe out the little equity that's there?

If there is equity in the house he should pay you then he has house to himself. You do not pay him.
See a solicitor. Do not give him money. If you are on the mortgage you are jointly and separately liable for the debt...you could be chased for the whole debt.

Sounds like he's continuing to abuse you, just using different methods.

I have just signed house over to abusive ex. I would have had 40k equity (had xh not trashed the inside).

At the end of the day it's just money. I preferred to be free of him and ensure that I couldn't be liable if he ran up debts and arrears on the property. It also keeps him away from me (different area) and made him happy (less likely to come after me). I'm happy with my decision, although most people don't understand it.

Also if you have evidence that you left because of abuse start the divorce soon. You will be eligible for legal aid. But I think that eligibility stops 2years after leaving.