Close relative has had second miscarriage in 12 months. She's in her mid 40s and has a 2 year old DC. As soon as she had DC she went on about trying for another - I had to bite my young as I had just had DC2 and found it a bit of a struggle (didn't want to put her off - but I had a 5 year gap between mine and never thought I would have DC2). Now we've been told this through another relative who has said she wants us to know but not to talk about when we all meet up over Easter. This happened with MC she had last summer - and I did find it hard - but respected her wishes of course - it's the most horrible thing to go through and I hada MC at 6 weeks in my mid 20s. So anyway it's happened again - and again DH and I are told we can know about it but are not even allowed to say 'hope you are okay''our thoughts are with you' or even acknowledge this horrible thing has happened yet we've been told about it. I'm thinking (and I'm 90% certain she had two MC before she had DC1) why tell us? It just adds to everyone's upset. It's not as if this part of family talk about babies emotions or even ask each other 'when's the next one'. So there is very little chance of something upsetting being sad - plus we know to be sensitive because she had a miscarriage last year. To be fair- this particular relative has made it clear she doesn't really like me - am I being a hard b*h - I've tried to reach out to her about other things (her and DH nearly lost their home and I offered to lend money and help with childcare through another relative without asking her direct but I find this all very strange. I have several very close friends who have had miscarriages in their 40s and although upset they are quite pragmatic and talk about their loss. Anyway I'm posting here because DH thinks I am BU!!!