Or at least molestation?
I'll give the full story so as not to drip feed. I've been going through a bad patch mental health wise after four years of getting over severe depression and anxiety, and it's just bringing up some old memories and feelings that I guess I still haven't dealt with.
For some reason a random memory came to me the other day. Nothing triggered it, except perhaps the constant media coverage of various sexual abuse cases.
When I was in my late teens I went to a friends house who was having a get together of a bunch of old friends. All people we'd known since childhood. This friend got himself drunk to the point of throwing up and had to be carried to bed. I decided to stay and keep an eye on this friend in case he choked on his vomit/hurt himself. Another friend decided to stay as well, just in case anything happened so I wasn't alone.
I was laying on the floor trying to sleep, freezing, fully dressed in jeans, Tshirt and a zipped up hoody with the hood pulled up when the friend who had agreed to stay and help suddenly laid down behind me and begun rubbing himself against my bum. And by himself i mean his penis.
I froze at first, completely shocked and for some reason embarrasesed. I had known this person since he was 10. We used to play together. I was even his brothers girlfriend for a few months. At first I wasn't sure what was happening but after his movements became rhythmic I simply got up and moved away, too shocked to even say anything.
After a few seconds of silence he asked me if I was ok. I simply responsed yes and lay there until the morning. I left as if nothing had happened.
The drunk friend of mine walked me to the bus station and I told him what had happened. He thought it was funny, which is perhaps why I didn't say or do anything about it.
I suppose it could be argued that he was just trying it on, but we hadn't spoken much all night and definitely did not flirt. I gave no signal whatsoever that I wanted anything to happen between us. Also, as far as he knew I was asleep. His movements were rhythmic but soft as I'm sure he was trying not to wake me.
I haven't seen any of these people since. I don't know what I'm looking got by posting this here, I guess I'm just tired of thinking about it without anyone to talk to.
Sorry it was so long...