That the TA had no business saying this?

[TheyreMadITellYouMaaaad]

TA told Y5 dd that she won't be going to the local comp because she's too clever for it, she will probably go to the grammar school.

On the contrary - she will almost certainly follow her siblings into the local comp, which we chose for them because we believe that it is better than the grammar.

It annoys me that he planted this suggestion that the comp is in some way second best. We're proud of our school and our involvement with it.

Would you feel the same if it had been the headteacher or is this because a lowly TA dared to make a comment (TA's seem to get a bad time on MN it's like they are the lowest of the low and only suitable for wiping bottoms, putting the crayons away or changing the wall displays).
People are so easily offended on MN this week.

If the TA actually commented in the way you describe then I think it was out of order - a bad choice of words. However, perhaps it was phrased slightly differently and your DD has understood it as "You're too clever for the local comp".

Or perhaps your DD has misgivings about the comp and would prefer the grammar school. This might have come up in conversation with the TA.
Perhaps, this is your DD's way of expressing a preference for the grammar school. Where do you think your DD's friends will go after primary school? It could be that they are already discussing where they want to go.

I am sure you have already, but maybe have a few more conversations with her about what she really wants. Maybe she feels it is a done deal as you describe how you chose the comp for the siblings and she will "almost certainly" go there.

I don't know, just maybe something else is behind this and this is why your daughter brought up the topic.

There's something to what kvilebu has said. When I was a child both sisters were already at the local comp, but all my friends were headed for either the local selective girls or the local all girls. I could easily have passed the 11+ but DM wouldn't hear of it. It made better sense to her for all 3 to be at one school.

I agree with kvilebu too. Have you even given your DD the option of trying for the grammar or even just going for an open evening at the grammar or any other schools? Why should she have her options closed off, because of what suited her older siblings?

Good point, kvilebu. But dd won't be going to the because her siblings are there already. We considered the grammars for each of them, individually. With each child we chose the same comp, at first nervously, but with each child our conviction that it is the right school has grown stronger. That it is why it is highly likely that she will follow her siblings. We will still consider the other options, and should definitely have that discussion with her sooner rather than later.

I don't know why I wrote Y5, BTW, she's Y4, so there is still a long time ahead.

And to the PP who queried whether I would have objected to the HT making that statement - yes, I would have!

Dear God!
Some would report to the school?! Do you really think they would do anything other than roll their eyes, write Op off as a lunatic and maybe half-heartedly agree to have a word sometime, if they remember?

Leave them to deal with the real problems, Op.

I agree Tanith. Best to save your fire for something worth firing at.