To not go on this hen weekend?

[lemon09876]

One of my friends is getting married later this year. A group of us are due to go away over Easter weekend. I will be 15 weeks pregnant when we are due to go.

I have been suffering from the usual first trimester sickness, headaches, exhaustion etc. and although I'm feeling much better this week I am still absolutely exhausted and sometimes feel travel sick. The journey there will take around 14 hours and will involve me travelling across London at 4am on my own. The journey is mostly by car and I'm worried about my need for very regular toilet stops (notoriously small bladder capacity even before pregnancy!). The journey back will be 12-14 hours.

I know everyone else will be drinking A LOT and partying until the morning - usually I would be up for this but recently I find I need to be in bed by 10. I will be sharing a room so can expect my sleep to be disrupted. They are also planning to do a 7 mile countryside walk at some point during the weekend. My main concern is that I will be tired and grumpy and come across as a party pooper. I really don't think I will enjoy myself and no one wants to be around someone who isn't having a good time.

The hen was booked before I knew I was pregnant and I have already paid for my travel and accommodation. I'm not expecting a refund.

WIBU to say I'm not going?

If you don't want to go, don't go.

Tell them why you can't go, they won't mind!

Don't go. If they haven't been pregnant they won't get it, but don't worry about that.

I went on a "girls weekend" when I was about 4 months pregnant. I felt terrible, couldn't walk as fast as everyone (they might not have been walking fast, I was tired), I wasn't drinking they were etc. It wasn't fun. At all. And I can't across as a party pooper.

If you see these people normally, don't go. If you don't see the hen/any other friends normally and you're all coming from different places, most I would consider is trying to book a room alone (depending on ££) and agreeing that you might not join them for all parts (dinner but then you'll go back while they drink etc). I'd rather just stay home though!!

If you don't go, maybe see if there's something you could send along with one of the others as a surprise for the hen, or if you can order something to her room (again depends on where they're staying and price), so you show you're there in spirit.

I'm not pregnant and wouldn't go...

I wouldn't go.

Surely they would have to respect your own assessment of your health needs. If not they aren't very good friends.

You are an adult and risk assess your own situation and make a decision based on what you think is worth doing.

Don't go. Arrange to see the hen separately.

Out of nosiness - where would you be travelling from/to? 14 hours is a mammoth journey!

14 hours to get there! Unless it's a flight ti cape town no chance!!
I was 16w pregnant at my best mates hen but that was just 1 hour away and I could leave the bar at any time. The set up you describe is not ideal I'd say don't go

Don't go. I went to a hen at a similar stage of pregnancy and it was miserable. I was in a confined space with a load of people who wanted to drink cocktails and be noisy until late, which I would have been well up for otherwise, but there was no escape when all I needed was to lie down quietly. I was grumpy, which can't have been nice for the others, most of whom I hardly knew. I wish I'd bailed.

14 hours? I wouldn't go in your situation.
I can't imagine anyone wanting to travel for 14 hours for a weekend break. Sounds crackers.