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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To refuse business to a close friend due to her financial issues

110 replies

pavlovapippa · 15/03/2016 16:48

So as a few of you may know from around this forum, I run a successful business specialising in events and parties and my friend recently contacted me about wanting a Frozen themed birthday party for her daughter at the end of the month but she asked if there was any way I could cut costs as she is struggling financially. I said yes, that I can perform as Princess Anna (I have a background in dance and theatre) so that she wouldn't have to pay for another one of my employees' wage. All good.

However today she has messaged me asking if I can do the party for her daughter, but receive payment AFTER the party has happened as she is unable to pay me before. Now this is completely against my company policy and will set me back a bit. What should I do? My gut instinct is to refuse to do this and say "you can pay me or walk out the door". This is my business and livelihood after all and we all have to make a living.

AIBU?

OP posts:

Arfarfanarf · 15/03/2016 17:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

pavlovapippa · 15/03/2016 17:34

Think that's the way I'm going to approach it Jux, thanks.

leelu66 by that I mean we keep up to date with the current lineup of Disney princesses in order to make sure that no little girl or boy feels left out with a certain princess not on offer.

OP posts:

Arfarfanarf · 15/03/2016 17:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jux · 15/03/2016 17:36

Or maybe you could help her plan it herself. She could hire costumes for the children (not from you -she hires them from a cheapie costume place), they have lucky dip to see who wears what, you hire bubble machines, the children do Frozen themselves, maybe swap roles and costumes a few times. Lots of impro on their part, basically just playing within a theme. Less slick and more fun. No show to watch, but lots and lits of free play with party games in between or something. You could help her plan something like that just as a friend.

Duckdeamon · 15/03/2016 17:38

Business is business: she can choose whether to commit and pay or cancel.

Vixxfacee · 15/03/2016 17:40

Which one of your A list celeb pals is this pip?

goodolenc · 15/03/2016 17:40

She's probably not going to pay or not what you've agreed. Unless you're happy to do it under those circs I wouldn't. Sorry, would love to help you out but I need up front to meet my costs.

Frika · 15/03/2016 17:40

Sorry, I can't stop laughing at the 'premier party experience'.

Thank Christ my son has gone past his Frozen mania. He used to sing that damn song so much, including as soon as he woke up in the morning, it was like co-sleeping with a pint-sized Idina Menzel.

OhShutUpThomas · 15/03/2016 17:42

Do you think she's jealous of you?

rookiemere · 15/03/2016 17:43

YANBU to say no.

If you wanted to be nice about it you could say that you'll wave your normal policy for once and accept 50% upfront and 50% afterwards.

That way she can't say you didn't offer to be flexible for her and equally if you do end up out of pocket it will only be 50% rather than all of it.

kslatts · 15/03/2016 17:44

If she is a really good friend then could you come to some other arrangement with her. You do the party for her and she does something non-financial for you in return?

specialsubject · 15/03/2016 17:44

just say no. There's only one way this will end. The nice bit is to let her cancel without penalty.

doing her a favour too - if she's struggling then this is not a sensible use of money. Frozen birthday cake and some tat from the pound shop, job done.

Original poster

pavlovapippa · 15/03/2016 17:44

Jux I will be offering my services as much as I can as she is a close friend after all, but obviously have my limitations due to being quite busy. I will want to take on another party for that Saturday slot as I hate being without one.

Vixxfacee well the friend in question has been in the public eye as a matter of fact but I won't be giving any indication other than this.

Frika yes it can get quite annoying, especially when you're having to be subjected to it every week through work!

OP posts:

QuiteLikely5 · 15/03/2016 17:44

Why is the OP getting a hard time?

So what if she does have sleb friends!

Some people are being mean......

AddToBasket · 15/03/2016 17:45

Don't do it, OP and don't feel bad saying no. You have a successful business for a reason.

The best way to be a friend here is to be kind and firm and not put either of you in an awkward situation.

228agreenend · 15/03/2016 17:46

let it go...

MerylMonkey · 15/03/2016 17:47

well the friend in question has been in the public eye as a matter of fact but I won't be giving any indication other than this.

Jessbow · 15/03/2016 17:49

Do you have insurance for your parties?

Presumably a party that isn't paid for wouldn't be covered by your insurance, which could potentially put your reputation on the line.

Original poster

pavlovapippa · 15/03/2016 17:49

228agreenend I should have expected that! Lol

OP posts:

coconutpie · 15/03/2016 17:52

No, I wouldn't go ahead with it unless she can pay beforehand, otherwise she just won't pay up.

Hoppinggreen · 15/03/2016 17:52

Not if it's Gemma, she's a right cow.

expatinscotland · 15/03/2016 17:53

DEFINITELY tell her NO. She's not going to pay up or you'll have to nag her.

'Sorry, that doesn't work for me. My company policy is upfront payment and I need to stick to that.'

And then leave it. No suggestions, helping her, etc.

She's going to take advantage.

FinallyHere · 15/03/2016 17:54

Be a real friend to her and make sure that she avoids this expense.

Would love such a party myself but can't trust my friends and family to turn up to a disney themed 56th birthday party sigh.

MerylMonkey · 15/03/2016 17:55

Gemma's never been in the public eye, Hopping. On account of being a cunty cow face. She is skint though.

Original poster

pavlovapippa · 15/03/2016 17:58

Haha funny you should mention Gemma actually Meryl and Hopping, as she has joined our team now whenever we get a request in for Princess Tiana! We don't speak too much outside of work however as just not compatible people!

OP posts:

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