leaving baby to play alone, how long do you leave yours?

[spanglyflip]

single mum to a 4 month old

she often seems happy/content being left in her baby gym etc, but I don't like to leave her in it for too long. I think I'm being overly cautious tho, i think my feelings of guilt about her only having me to amuse her are making me take her out of her gym/swing seat/changing mat ages before she's had enough.....i hardly ever let her get to the point where she starts showing signs of being fed up of it cos it makes me feel so guilty when that happens, we've been thru so much already.

this is an issue for me as i have more to do than the usual single mum and i have a debilitating injury that i need to recover from so should i be leaving her longer so i can get on with all this other stuff i need to do for us?????

There you are, engrossed in something. It's absolutely fascinating and you really, really want to master it. If you could just try that one more time, a little harder, you'll hav-...

... and suddenly your well-meaning mother whisks you away, convinced you're feeling neglected and lonely and in need of some real quality time

wow, don't think I've ever seen such a robust concensus on mn before! cognitive breakthrough - i'll remember that, must dash as she is content and I've got a mountain to move
thanks again everyone, the dose of good sense i needed! xxx

I agree with everyone else. DD is 11 weeks and I only move her once she starts to whinge after 5 minutes

All day if needed!!

Unfortunately I had been very ill and fortunately DS is very content. I didn't want him catch anything so he stayed in his baby gym until DH got home.

DS is happy playing independently most of the time something I took for granted when I saw my friend attached to her child and a rattle.

I agree that you can happily leave your baby to her own devices as long as she is safe and content. I don't agree, though, that you can "teach" your child to play on her own. The older my kids get and the more contact I have with other kids, the more I realize they are who they are. We can "train" them to an extent at the margins, but we can't change their fundamental nature. My first child hated to play by himself, no matter WHAT we did. And believe me we tried! Even at 6 he still needs a lot of attention and interaction. My second one, literally since birth has been happy to entertain himself for long periods. It started way too early to be something learned.

Likewise my first is a fantastic eater, will try everything gamely and eat anything that's not nailed down. I smugly chalked it up to the wide variety of healthy and interesting food I made him and my refusal to cater to his preferences. Then number 2 came along and I did the exact same things and more. He is the fussiest eater on the planet. I'm embarrassed that I thought I could "create" a good eater.

Now that my two are pretty established in their personalities and I've had a lot of exposure to other kids and parents, I roll my eyes at how many parents pat themselves on the back for their children's good qualities. Of course nobody takes credit for the bad qualities. (And they ALL have bad qualities.).