What's your opinion ?

[LyndsayLoLoSWLondon]

Hi
I currently employ a cleaner for 25 hours a week 5 hours on a Monday- Friday. (especially before and after the weekend!). The trouble is I don't know if I am being unrealistic about what I'm expecting her to do and not giving her enough hours or if she just isn't as good as my last amazing cleaner who sadly retired 4 months ago after working for me for 12 years prior to me having kids (just cleaning my apartment) and the last 10 years with an ever expanding family! So here's the jobs I ask. I pay £12 p/hr so £300 a week.

1. Change my bed and all 4 kids beds once a week on a Friday and nanny's bed. All sheets are sent to the dry cleaners to be washed and pressed every week so all she needs to do is strip he beds and bag up and leave in the utility. All clean sheets are left in airing cupboards. Sometimes there's the guest bedroom to change also. I don't think this is difficult I just don't have the time to do It myself.

1. Clean kitchen 'generally' Hoover and mop tiles, clean skirting boards, wipe over splash backs clean gas hob. Wipe over ovens and dust over the AGA, clean microwave. Empty the dishwasher if finished. Empty bin, Clean the dining table. Clean bi fold doors. I ask all this to be done on a Friday and then again on the Monday because everything marks easily. Clean out fridge empty out of date things and clean with anti bac spray.

1. Clean and dust the best lounge - not much mess in there.

1. Clean and dust the main lounge and Hoover.

1. Dust and Hoover the kids rooms.

1. Dust and Hoover my bedroom and dust and Hoover my office.

1. Clean 4 bathrooms and 3 separate loos.

1. Clean guest bedroom if it's been used and their bathroom.

1. Hoover all stairs and dust banisters.

10. Hoover sofas.

Note: there is never Outside doors or windows to clean. Never and deep thorough clean of ovens as I have someone in every 3 months to clean the ovens professionally.
There is no ironing or washing to put on or hang out, I have someone collect and drop of ironing and nanny puts it away.

What do you think ?

Thanks in advance.

It's the 'best lounge' that gave this one away to me

Yes. Perhaps it should have been best sitting room.

Wow I really feel for you Lyndsay. If I didn't have an illness and live in the wrong part of the country I would apply and get your house clean and ship shape for you! I've been a cleaner and also a housekeeper/ nanny/ groom when I was younger and so I don't think you are asking too much at all.

I'd be fuming if I'd come home to the conditions you describe. It annoys me no end when employers pay a fair wage with good conditions and people take the piss.

I echo others who say that you need a house keeper type person - someone who is willing and able to use their initiative and takes pride in their work. Not someone who will just follow a set list and needs checking up on. That is what you should get for paying above minimum wage.

I also think the nanny could do far more work for what you pay her. She really needs to be working constantly throughout the day, filling her time with things that need doing, just as you do no doubt. I'm sure she will value her job (if she has any sense) and realise she has had it very easy before now and be amenable to raising her game.

She should be meal planning and sticking to a few set meals and be able to batch cook and manage the fridge with very little waste. If she is any good. Seeing as you rarely eat at home, I'd be tempted to say waste has to come out of her wages!! Probably better to set a budget and not allow any extras, bar milk and bread. She will soon learn to budget and cook better.

I think I'd to try to combine the roles - so your kids eat at home more, and learn to cook, and be tidy and repsonsible from someone other than yourself. You are doing your best and I understand wanting to have weekends just to take a break. I guess you really need Mary Poppins...

Try one of the more exclusive/ upmarket agencies - they should cater to higher standards and be able to offer people capable of sole charge/ independent working, and as your requirements are not excessive and pay well, I'm sure there will be plenty of applicants.

Good luck

Blueeyes what a nasty judgemental person you sound regarding working mothers. Judging a woman because she uses childcare - sheer nastiness.

Yes indeed. You had me up until 'best lounge'. Entertaining though :-)

I do like the sound of the OP though.
Apropos of nothing relating to this thread of course, but there have been some right thick, coarse,sexist twats on mn just lately who seem to be determined to make ridiculously goady comments. Some might almost say they were trolling.

Oh give over Blue. OP is raising her kids. It is just insulting to say otherwise.

I did wonder if there was an element of guilt in your current parenting OP. You cannot make up for the break down of the marriage by never asking them to do anything. The best you can do for them is to bring them up to be respectful and capable human beings.

As for the expenditure...your laundry bill is the same as my rent. And your "wastage" with food amounts to more than I spend feeding my family of four in a month, and I wouldn't say we are frugal. All that is of course relative, but when you seem worried about money for spends over the school hols and you are spending over £100 a week on sheets, I think that definitely is a question of priorities.

I think you are right to not share what you spend on food on here :o but I hope that you can start to manage it better. It must be a daunting task though.

I'll join the chorus of agreeing she should be able to complete that list plus some in that time. We tried a cleaner for a short time but it was similar, although on a different scale. Knowing we could do a better job in that time meant we cancelled it, we don't get it done mostly so I would love a cleaner again, just finding a decent one is so hard. People are also very territorial about their cleaners so getting recommendations is tricky, especially in London - most of my SAHM mums had cleaners even in small flats so there's huge demand.

Thank you for all the positive suggestions they've helped. Sometimes it's nice to get an opinion from someone who doesn't know you personally. That's all I wanted and I've got that from the majority of the kind hearted people who have responded to me.

Excuse me...I have a 'best lounge' and i'm completely fucking posh. It's dialect, is all...

I actually think the op is genuine...lots has a ring of truth to it. I think the ops income/outgoings are simply so far beyond what lots of us are used to it seems like a story. But there are people with this sort of income/life...it's not far fetched, just not average.

Even poor people manage to have clean sheets once a week

Hahah

OP, I'll do your cleaning! Jokes aside, as a 'work outside of the home' parent it is extremely difficult to keep on top of house chores. I can't imagine how difficult it is doing it as a single parent. Your money, your choice.

Good luck

i'd give up my (well paid) full time job to be OPs cleaner - i'd have enough income, loads more free time and no more work problems /office politics......commute would be an issue though, unless i can be live in???? i'd do the shopping and tidy up after the kids, i'd cook for you too, save you eating out!

op... gissa job....

Think there will be a queue of mners applying!

Okay, am I the only one who wonders how Blue went from "won't anyone think of the children?!" to "naked dream boy (employee) and head banging sex?"

Just me? Okay.

Right I have read the whole thread .
Your cleaner has to do lot of tidying things that your kids and nanny should be doing . They should not have left the house in the state this morning and when they come you getting angry at them not your cleaner.

Sometimes cleaners do this. It depends entirely on the arrangement between the two parties.

With OP's cleaner doing 25 hours a week it could be more of a housekeeper role anyway. So tidying would be a natural thing to do (as it is with many SAHPs).

And while many suggest (and OP admits) the children could do more, they don't have to. We don't know their schedules, we don't know the family priorities. It's possible to be waited on hand and foot throughout childhood and still be thankful, rather than entitled.

Would it serve them well to know how to clean a loo? Yes. But there are other life skills that might serve them better. Loo-cleaning can be learned later in life (she said, with first-hand knowledge).

Blue and your patronising 'I could just cry'
What a load of bollocks..... thank god your in the minority.
Op if you need a hand with monthly meal plans I have some just pm me.

Good lord, thank you sprink - I grew up similarly and didn't grow up clueless and entitled. FFS.

Blue have a look at SW London / Central London gumtree adverts & you will see that OPs budgets are not outrageous. There are people who employ far more staff, even having one nanny per child or a weekday and a weekend nanny.

Invictus maybe I should employ a weekend nanny in addition, like many people I know around here. I really would win the 'Worst Mother Of The Year Award' then hey !!? I will let you know how I get on tomorrow. Thanks again ladies.

what's your job OP, out of pure nosiness? fainting at the thought of 80 hour weeks

Lyndsay just ignore the 1950's twattery, the 'oh won't someone think of the children' nonsense & the Troll Hunters. Ignore, ignore, ignore.

I wouldn't even bother talking to her tomorrow if I'd come home to that after paying someone to clean for 5 hours. I'd have the wine, calm down a tad, then text her saying 'I've just walked in the door, clearly talking is going to be a waste of time. Don't bother coming back'. I'd call a locksmith & get the door locks changed & call an agency for a temp cleaner. Then go somewhere nice for the day & relax. You need it.

Our cleaner used to wash the sheets while she was at ours, then take them home to iron them (as she had a steam press thingy). It's lovely having sheets that have been ironed & it's no crime to send them out, but there are less expensive ways of getting the job done (just as nicely).

We used to eat meals from 'Cook' most nights if not eating out.

We had the cleaner three days a week, 4 hours a day, plus ironing

There's absolutely NOTHING wrong with hiring in/out as much help as you can. NOTHING. However, there are areas where costs can easily be cut now that life has changed for you. As you have already noted, shopping habits, food waste, that particular laundry service & cleaning hours are right up there. I expect there are other things too... But definitely NOT

All of that aside, I totally understand you indulging the children so much since the divorce, but this 'cook to order' thing has to stop. Your nanny knows your children well enough to cook meals they can all happily eat, X is for dinner, that's it. It's fine to do a few peas for one if they truely hate brocolli or whatever, but indulging them to the point of your nanny being a short order cook for them all is honestly doing them no favours. I'd also make sure that YOU tell the children that this is YOUR decision. Own it, for their own good.

As for leaving their stuff all over the place & their rooms in a state, that stops too. They are young enough, yet also old enough, to be told & to change their habits. You cannot send them out into the world expecting to be picked up after. This too needs to come from you. Leaving stuff 'wherever you put it down' is just what kids are like, but you can't let them get to the stage where they expect 'the help' to pick up after them. You need to own this too, but also ensure your nanny is on board with making sure it's done. It's not about 'cleaning' it's about manners & puttng the glass YOU used in the dishwasher, YOUR shoes in the boot room, YOUR toys away... Their flat mates & partners will thank you for it .

As for rota chores, I wouldn't bother (it's a mixed bag re that on MN, but I'm not all for kids have chores unless it's necessary & in your case it's not). I'd EXPECT them to do anything they were asked to do though, whether that's emptying the dishwasher or fetching something from upstairs etc

Sorry it reads like War & Peace. You just sound so stressed... It will all be ok 💐

We had a best lounge and a normal lounge growing up - it was a cultural thing. We were not posh!

I used to be a nanny in Chelsea 5 story house 4 children and a dog your older children should strip there own beds the nanny should do the younger ones and make them all everyone should tidy after themselves your cleaner should clean not tidy - your nanny should during the day each few days do the food shopping for the next few days You also need to be at home more with your family and enjoy them

You also need to be at home more with your family and enjoy them

Was advising your clients on their work / life balance part of your remit, nanny?