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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask why you quit Facebook?

74 replies

FortifiedWine · 14/03/2016 21:13

Wrong to post in AIBU? Probably.

History:

Severe Facebook addict from 2008-2016 - ( EIGHT years of doing nothing but endlessly posting shit about my dinner and other mundane events of my life)

First quit in December 2015, due to drama with XP's side of the family. The my side of the family. The friends. The other member of family. Petty stuff. Found myself drawn to MN (had been a lurker for a while) and personally I find I've interacted with more people on here than I ever did with my 'friends' on Facebook! I was sometimes on Facebook everyday - 12-15 hours a day, starting from the moment I woke up till the moment I fell asleep. And for no particular reason, just because simply - I am nosey and enjoy knowing every aspect of distant friends and acquaintances lives.

I am tempted to go back on there... many reason why... a few friends due to give birth and I'd like to see there photos. A few over dramatic friends statuses I've missed. A few support groups/people belonging to these, for personal issues in my life that I miss? It's not always easy to email people, especially if you are not close, just nosey... lol

It's been the longest I've ever been off there so far. No drama from the XP and his family. No drama from friends wondering why I didn't include them in my post. No drama from my mother (I'm late 20s) who is worried about me because I just checked into a Pret a Manger miles from home and mentioned a random guy was asking for my number.

Tell me your experiences. I'd love to know.

I like the quiet life, but still find myself typing it in the search bar after so many years of indoctrination. Does this ever end?!

Ps. have developed unhealthy fixation for posting on Mumsnet

OP posts:

Awholelottanosy · 15/03/2016 00:06

It was making me depressed and was comparing my lives with others so just don't go on it any more. Feel
more peaceful now.

However... If I was to go on an amazing round the world trip I'd probably go on it again just to boast and post all my pics!

Cos that's what it's for isn't it...?

TheHatOfDoom · 15/03/2016 00:15

I nearly quit recently when a friend sent me a text in a panic because I'd not "been online" for weeks (or about six days I worked it out) - I had I just hadn't posted on facebook -and she'd been worried about me.

MadSprocker · 15/03/2016 08:51

One of my reasons for quitting was because of a possessive friend being jealous of anything I did without her. I quite like the anonymity of not being on there too.

Tywinlannister · 15/03/2016 09:29

My SIL - "Didn't you invite (insert randomer here) to your event (small event with close friends only). Mmm... That's strange."

"You are friends with (insert awkward ex's name here). How do you know him then?"

My DM - "You never 'like' any of my posts! (All twee quotes/ devoid of scientific analysis 'new' research / feeling sorry for myself illness posts)

I'd had enough of explaining myself!

shrekislove · 15/03/2016 09:33

I deactivated in December '15 due to people "spying" on me and reporting everything to my manager whilst I was off work for 4 months with chronic back pain. I get so much more done without it, but I do find people forget about you if you're not on there. I log in occasionally, realise it's still the same boring drivel and deactivate again before anyone notices/messages me

scrumptiouscrumpets · 15/03/2016 09:43

Your op makes it sound more about Internet addiction than Facebook addiction. You say you've substituted Facebook with Mumsnet, do you spend 12 hours a day on Mumsnet like you used to on Facebook? If so, I'd get some info on Internet addiction and help to sort it out.

Otherwise, I can't think of a good reason to be on Facebook. I have many friends abroad and I talk to them on whatsapp - I actually talk to them more since I came off Facebook. As for seeing the pictures and status updates, they can be amusing, but at the end of the day I really don't give a shit.

JuneFromBethesda · 15/03/2016 09:44

I didn't use Facebook much but even so I didn't like the affect it had on me. As previous posters have said, I ended up comparing my life, warts and all, with the sunny happy photos, best-bits-only that other people present of their lives on FB, and it made me crabby and dissatisfied. I also spent too much time looking up people I used to know - I'm nosy and I don't think it's healthy to feed my nosiness! (Still do it with Google mind you, but at least you can't find so much personal stuff that way)

Every time I see yet another post on here, or other forums, about arguments caused or exacerbated by Facebook, it simply confirms to me that I did the right thing. I'm sure other people get a lot out of it but I know for me it's not a good thing. I have no interest whatsoever in going back to it. I like being relatively anonymous too

KERALA1 · 15/03/2016 09:50

I wasn't on it until 2 years ago, then started own business so joined, I get clients from it. Thought I was fine with it but actually, seeing the jolly girls holiday which about half of my friends are on (to which I was not invited) has been making me feel actually quite shit this week. Have no grounds for complaint - I organise things and don't invite "everyone" but careful not to incessantly post about the amazing times being had. Seeing the "holiday of a lifetime" unfolding whilst I clean out the kitchen cupboards is quite hard! Gives you info you do not neither need nor want.

So on reflection - I will keep using for business purposes only!

RedOnHerHedd · 15/03/2016 19:43

It wasn't good for my mental health. I'm far better not being stuck to my phone 24/7. I've taken up crocheting again (which I did before Facebook) and I get far more satisfaction out of making things rather than seeing how "amazing" shit people's lives are. I couldn't stand the falseness of it or the diabolical grammar and all the "hun" and "bib".

I hope I never feel the urge to go back.

I've also ditched Twitter too.

Much happier not knowing what so-and-so had for dinner and how many times their bf spewed after a night out. And the slagging off of said bf and then the day after he's the most wonderful thing on earth. And hated the airing of dirty laundry. FB is not the place for that.

CamboricumMinor · 15/03/2016 19:51

I quit FB about two months ago, I wasn't bothered one way or other about it any more. Nobody has noticed!

breezydoesit · 15/03/2016 20:00

I quit Facebook for the following reasons:

I live in Glasgow and some of the sectarian bile on FB made me wonder about many people if considered educated. I Just don't need that in my life.

I don't care what people eat for their dinner

I don't care much for people posting 350 pics of their holiday. Seriously nobody cares that much about your 7 nights in Majorca.

People constantly talking about their children and the constant pics of them. I love my DC but i don't bore everyone with it.

The "she knows what she did posts" or the heart broken quote and the 20 people who are drawn hook line and sinker "PM you babes" "OMG what's happened??"

People who tag themselves at the hospital so they get 40 people asking what's wrong with them only for them to reply "nothing babes" or "I'll pm you"

Forever Living. Nuff said.

The constant persecution complex some people have. Their lives are the worst and woe is me so they post sad quotes all the time.

Yeah I'm getting flamed, aren't I?

breezydoesit · 15/03/2016 20:02

Oh and how could i forget the most important one?!?!?

The people who make out their lives are perfect when you know its absolute bullshit and their life is every bit as normal and mundane as mine. Tell the fucking truth and stop posting shite!!

BartholinsSister · 15/03/2016 20:07

Reading with interest as I'm toying with the idea of quitting too. When you delete your account, do your 'friends' get notified in some way, or do you quietly disappear from their friends list? It would be unfortunate if they were left thinking they'd been unfriended.

JuneFromBethesda · 15/03/2016 20:18

Now actually when I read about Forever Living part of me wishes I was still on Facebook so I could be entertained by the FL crazies

Awholelottanosy · 15/03/2016 20:21

Think I need to share this...

Silvercatowner · 15/03/2016 20:28

I don't really get it. if it doesn't suit you then don't do it. I love my FB, don't have many friends but it is a way of casual, fun communication. I rarely (almost never) see posts that re offensive or disagreeable and if I did I would delete that person immediately.

BillBrysonsBeard · 15/03/2016 20:44

Bartholins It doesn't inform anyone and you do still appear on their list but there is no pic or info, and it says 'deactivated' when they hover over your name. So people know you haven't deleted them.

For me... I was spending too much of my day picking up my phone and scrolling through, hoping for something interesting.. Repeating this all day hoping for a bigger fix but instead reading updates about rubbish. But I couldn't stop myself going on! I also felt my life was rubbish compared to others and everyone was having a great time. I am very lucky in my life and can really appreciate it now that I'm not comparing.
I question how many likes I get and wonder why certain people haven't acknowledged. I hate feeling like that because deep down I don't give a fuck, but it makes me care?
It also makes people lazy with keeping in touch as they get to know everything through pictures and statuses.
I feel free now, and still use the fb messenger to keep in touch as it lets you keep that now when you deactivate.. There are great aspects to fb and I know many people can use it sensibly, I just feel like I can't at the moment!

DarthPrincess · 15/03/2016 20:45

I deleted it after I realised I was spending more time obsessing over other peoples kids then my own and that every time I did something with the dcs and partner the first thing I had to do, was to tell Facebook. I had someone tell me whilst cutting my Facebook usage that they where sorry I had split from dp - I hadn't i just hadn't been posting date night shite.

My life feels like it's back to a real one. Not a fake one for pleasing the masses.

BillBrysonsBeard · 15/03/2016 20:55

Definitely Darth, that was another thing I did too. As soon as I took some nice pictures I felt I had to get them on facebook quickly, as if I didn't then it was kinda like it didn't happen? Madness

KERALA1 · 15/03/2016 23:14

Read the circle by Dave eggars. Thought provoking puts you right off Facebook

EverySongbirdSays · 15/03/2016 23:40

What is this Forever Living I keep hearing about? Never heard of it.

ihateminecraft · 16/03/2016 07:14

I've often thought about quitting as these days I seem to have less time than ever before, when in some ways I should have more, and I'm sure the time I waste on fb and online in general is to blame!
Also, I feel I don't have the head space for all that info - it's stressful!

I won't quit as I need it for work plus there are things I like about it. It means I can stay loosely in touch with people I probably wouldn't do otherwise but do want to keep up with their lives. I have less than 100 friends and they are all people I have known personally at some point in my life, although some I haven't seen since school!

I don't actually post that much anymore and certainly don't post boring crap like I did a few years back. Most of my posts tend to be pictures and check ins from interesting places. I don't do it to boast but because it creates a nice record to look back on, a bit like a diary.

Recently, I've unfollowed some people and pages guilty of posting crap and will do some more. I'd be really interested in hearing from people on here who have got their fb and online habits under control and are able to use it productively without wasting oodles of time!

TwoLeftSocks · 16/03/2016 18:51

I've recently quit all things local (by unfriending everyone) as it was just making me unhappy. Too many cliques excluding our family and a few others I know yet going on about what brilliant friendship groups they have.

Figured I'll see people about and hang out with friends anyway, and i don't want to maintain artificial friendships that probably would have fizzled away some time ago without fb.

Sallyingforth · 16/03/2016 20:51

EverySong
Try Google.

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