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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to keep DD off school for PGL week?

85 replies

cingolimama · 14/03/2016 10:18

Genuine AIBU here and would appreciate any advice from any parents who may have been in a similar position.

DD is in Y6 and in June there is a week-long PGL trip that almost all her classmates will be going on but DD will not attend (she's happy with not going) for various good reasons. There are only two other children not going. When I asked what they will be doing that week, I was told there's no special provision for the ones left behind, and that they'll probably just "help out with the younger ones".

I'm really not happy with this. It would be okay for a day, but all week? I'd rather DD just stayed home - she could relax, read, practise her instruments, go swimming, etc. would would serve her better and be less boring. I have never ever asked for time off before, but I'm really considering it now.

Thoughts?

OP posts:
Pippidoeswhatshewants · 14/03/2016 17:17

In our school you go into a year below and just do whatever they are doing.
Dd didn't go to PGL and had a very miserable week, "the worst week of my life". The next year she still didn't want to go to PGL and begged us not to send her to school. We went to a theme park instead, it was marvellous. Unfortunately she was ill during PGL week anyway Wink

girlandboy · 14/03/2016 20:05

cingolimama

Girlandboy - that sounds like a heavenly week and just what I'd like to do. As you say, the rules have changed a bit since you did that, but if you can remember any persuasive arguments, I'd love to hear them.

I put in the application letter that we wanted to use the time for a family break, but would use it in an educational way. I also promised that DS would write a diary stating what we'd done and what he'd learned.

He didn't want to go on the Yr 6 activity week because in Yr 2 they'd had 2 nights away with the class. This turned out to be disastrous for DS and I was phoned at midnight on the first night by one of the teachers because he was so distressed. There was no option but to go and fetch him home, so it was a good job they weren't too far away!! DS worried from that moment on about the Yr 6 trip and always maintained that he wasn't going to go. So he didn't!

AllTheToastIsGone · 14/03/2016 20:23

I find it really quite out of order that a state school can arrange a non educational trip for young children that costs loads of money, not lay on decent alternative for those who can't afford it or who don't want to go and then fine the parents if they don't send their children to school, where they won't be getting educated anyway.

Original poster
cingolimama · 14/03/2016 20:34

Girl, the diary is an excellent idea, thanks. If nothing else, it documents a week's activities, which might be something that will reassure the school.

Thank you allthetoast - my sentiments exactly!

OP posts:
SohowdoIdothis · 14/03/2016 20:34

Ask if you can get permission to educate off site, and go to lots of National trust ,museums and art galleries.

Original poster
cingolimama · 14/03/2016 20:40

Sohow, as far as you know, can a parent "educate off site" if they're not home schooling full-time? I know there has been a real clamp-down on flexi-schooling, so thought this may be similar?

Would be delighted of course, if that was accepted by the school.

OP posts:
MillionToOneChances · 14/03/2016 22:06

The rules on flexi schooling have not, in fact, changed at all. The government just said the same thing in slightly different words. Flexi schooling is fully at the discretion of the head teacher, but the LEA may exert pressure on them not to use code B and if they feel they have to put it down as unauthorised absence it will negatively impact their stats so they'll be unkeen. But honestly, all those kids on the school trip with be marked as 'educated offsite' that week, why not tack on your daughter too...?

Dancergirl · 15/03/2016 08:13

Could you withdraw her from school for the duration of the trip and then re-enrol her? Seems a ridiculous hoop to jump through but it would get round the problem of any possible fine.

MidniteScribbler · 15/03/2016 09:42

I'd check what is actually happening first. In our school, the students who aren't going on camp go to the next year level down. They still do work with that class (differentiated for their level as much as possible), but we try and make them feel a bit special by calling them special helpers and getting them to help out with various tasks.

Original poster
cingolimama · 15/03/2016 10:45

Midnite, sorry but that sounds a bit ... crap, actually.

OP posts:
MillionToOneChances · 15/03/2016 11:09

Dancer has a point. You wouldn't want to risk it if the school was full, but if there are spaces in her year you could withdraw her to home educate the Friday before the trip and apply for a new school place via county the same day. Trouble is, you might not get her back in a week later, could take 2-3 weeks. Risky strategy if home ed isn't your goal.

Original poster
cingolimama · 15/03/2016 11:41

Thanks for interesting suggestion re: withdrawing DD for the week, but don't want to risk losing her place, nor frankly do I want the faff.

Of course, it never occurred to me that all the other children were going to be "educated off-site" that week, and for DD to be included in that code may not be a stretch.

OP posts:
gleegeek · 15/03/2016 11:56

The pp who said the school have to provide an education that week - the school will see it that they are and the op is choosing not to accept that provision... (not saying that's right, but if there are no extra members of staff available, the school are in a difficult situation...)
I think you need to find out what is going to be offered for your child and then decide if it's worth rocking the boat by taking your dc out of school.
I might be tempted to do a couple of days in school and then call in sick for the last few but your dc may find they like the extra attention they get being different?

SohowdoIdothis · 15/03/2016 12:18

I have taken my children out of school many many times, with the head's approval under the educating the child off site,

But that is exactly what I am doing, taking them to a unique experiences, I also make a point of them keeping an information diary which covers what they have learnt.

I would have a chat with the head, go along with a list of what you intend to do, and ask how she would like it documented.

I suspect they will be rather pleased not to have to facilitate your child during that week.

Dancergirl · 15/03/2016 14:49
Dancergirl · 15/03/2016 14:50

but don't want to risk losing her place

Very, very unlikely a child would start in the last half term of Year 6.

MidniteScribbler · 16/03/2016 21:12

, sorry but that sounds a bit ... crap, actually.

What exactly would you expect schools to do with the students left behind? Hire someone to look after one or two students?

SohowdoIdothis · 16/03/2016 21:36

You just have to phrase it correctly and not make a song and dance about it in the playground. Be that discrete parent.

You simply put in a proposal that your DC has been offered a chance to see/do something of educational significance, explain that the opportunity is unlikely to be available again, make sure the child produces a mini project on the event, and the school will be more than happy to support,.

I do make sure that my children have 100% attendance and are always considered an asset to the school, and working above their ages grades.

Original poster
cingolimama · 17/03/2016 08:02

Midnite you ask a fair question. But basically, I think it's really not on for a state school to have expensive residentials, and then not offer anything special for the kids left behind.

A lot of PTFA money has gone to support this trip - fully funding families in receipt of FSM and paying for the bus as well - thousands of pounds in fact. For a week's PGL. I think the school in these circumstances can provide something other than "helping out" or shunting them into the next level down.

OP posts:
Fizrim · 17/03/2016 14:13

If the PTA has supported the trip then they should support some activities for those not going OP.

Midnite, do all the year 6 teachers go on the trip? Is it a one-form entry school? The teachers that go on the residential at my DD's school are from across the school (not just year 6).

sashh · 17/03/2016 14:29

I would put in writing a request of what my child will be doing and asking for them to be 'educated off site' which is what the ones on the PGL trip will do.

Music, reading, swimming - all educational and the school doesn't have to find them something to do.

Then if you do keep her off and go to court you have evidence that you were providing an adequate education and the school were not.

Janecc · 17/03/2016 14:30

Wow maniacinsomiac. Sounds like a really cool experience. Thanks for sharing.

Hulababy · 17/03/2016 18:51

AllTheToastIsGone - residential like PGL will be classed as educational. It may not be academic, but it will be educational. Which is fine - school education doesn't only include academia.

memememum · 17/03/2016 19:02

Is there time/possibility of talking to the school and PTA to try and get at least one special event lined up/partially funded for those staying behind. Also, could you make any suggestions to the school for things they could do? Provide as much useful practical detail as you can so they feel it's doable.

TheTroubleWithAngels · 17/03/2016 19:26

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.