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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Or PFB to be angry at this email from osteopath?

50 replies

Truebluetrueblur · 13/03/2016 21:33

When dd was born she had some problems turning her head. GP recommended that if we had the money we might find an osteopath can help and recommended someone from a well known London clinic and we took dd there twice a week, for 6 months at great expense to us. The osteopath told us that dd had some of the worst head turning problems she had ever seen, and being first time parents, that worried us a lot - hence shelling out all the money. After every session she would tell us it was essential she saw dd again in 3-4 days and if we said it was a bit soon and we couldn't afford it, she would make us feel guilty and say that we needed to prioritise dd's health. By the way she reacted to dd we totally lost perspective of the fact that the osteopathy was an "extra" and a luxury, rather than how she was presenting it - as an essential.

Over time dd's problems got better and we eventually extracted ourselves from this osteo by ignoring her emails and calls trying to get us to book more appointments.

Things went quiet for a bit then on dd's first birthday I got an email from the osteopath saying:

Happy birthday to dd! I am sure you are doing something wonderful for her! Please send me a picture if you can.

It is very important that I tell you we recommend a check up at 1 year old to make sure dd's problems don't come back.

I know you want to put dd first, so I'd suggest you become more pro-active than re-active. Looking at my records you have not come to the clinic since August which concerns me considering the way dd was when I last saw her.

Anyway I'll leave this with you.

Best...

Am I being PFB or over sensitive to be totally incensed at the way she is trying to extract more business from
Me but thinks I will buy her patronising "concern" and "happy birthday" to dd? And WIBU to reply telling her so? DD is now absolutely fine btw with no problems, so I have no idea what she is talking about "the way she was when I last saw her."

OP posts:

MeadowHay · 13/03/2016 22:31

Hi OP, I think this story is really concerning to be honest. If you have the time and energy, I would seriously write a formal complaint about this osteopath to the relevant professional body. This kind of heavy marketing approach is wholly inappropriate in a healthcare setting. Send copies of the emails, evidence of missed calls of possible and detail how often you were having appointments. I am afraid that you have been scammed very badly by someone who you trusted to take care of your little one.

I would then follow this up with a slightly modified version of the letter addressed to your GP and even the practice manager at the GP surgery so they can be aware of it too. Are GPs even allowed to reccommend osteopathy?? There is very little, if any, credible data that osteopathy is useful for, well, anything at all, never mind something like new-born trauma! Call me a cynic but I also think that if this osteopath that you were referred to was so well known and had such good reviews (which obviously seems unlikely considering how badly they have scammed and treated you), surely they would have a lot of clients and be too busy to be inundating you with calls and emails harassing you to return?! I am really wondering whether there is some personal/familial or even financial relationship between this GP and the osteopath?! Might sound extreme but these things do happen!

Very glad your little one is fine now and I am so angry that you have been treated like this by healthcare providers.

christinarossetti · 13/03/2016 22:49

I'm fairly sure that GPs shouldn't be making personal recommendations like this. I would write to the Osteopaths professional regulatory body and send a copy to the GP practice manager. From the information you've given, it looks like harassment and exploitation tbh.

ElementaryMyDear · 13/03/2016 22:54

I'd probably ask her for a clinical report "for your records".

I wouldn't, she'll charge for it.

SilverBirchWithout · 13/03/2016 22:55

I personally would be reporting the GP to the GMC.

Referring anxious parents of a very young baby presenting with a problem onto a quack carrying out unproven alternative medical practises is a serious matter.

OVienna · 14/03/2016 07:16

I would be incensed and probably exploring reporting her. Manipulative con artist.

RevoltingPeasant · 14/03/2016 07:42

Tbf I think nhs HCP do recommend osteo. Two midwives recommended it to me after DD was born very quickly.

And it's not all quackery! I didn't use an osteo for DD but I do for my bad back. She does like a very in depth sports massage and prescribes exercises. It definitely helps and it makes sense to me that it would, for musculoskeletal problems.

This osteo sounds bonkers though. Def report and tell the GP.

sleeponeday · 14/03/2016 07:57

Agree with SilverBirch.

I went to see an osteo when dd was born and very unwell. I realised while in there that it was total quackery, though she was kind and well-intentioned. But you're vulnerable with a new baby when they are less than thriving, and you'll try whatever is suggested.

TeddTess · 14/03/2016 08:05

i saw a cranial osteo when dd1 was a newborn cos she was screaming too much for my liking

i don't know if it helped or not

the osteo did 3 sessions and then said i should see an improvement - and if i didn't this wasn't going to help.

they're not all quacks
you must let the GP know though, did he recommend her specifically?

OVienna · 14/03/2016 08:14

revolting to be clear I think this particular Osteo is a con, not intending to tar all with sabe brush.

TitusGibbonicus · 14/03/2016 08:19

If they treat anything other than lower back issues or injury in adults... they're quacks. And the chiropracters as well.

HPsauciness · 14/03/2016 08:20

If your dd had torticollis and couldn't move her head to look on one side (so only favoured the other), then any very gentle manipulation twice a week would have worked- I have to say I did it myself once I realised that my dd had this (following guidance on stretching from a HCP). So- to that extent, it may not have been a 'rip-off'.

However- her marketing approach, to guilt new parents- oh my! Definitely worth a report.

LoveBoursin · 14/03/2016 08:21

I'm not an an osteopath but work in a similar profession.

I would NOT go back to see her. The way she is pushing you to take your DC back to see her is disgraceful and completely unethical.

It's a real shame because she might well have done a great job with your dd, your dd might have really needed the twice a week appointment but there is no way she should make you feel guilty not to take her.

Please don't write off all the osteopaths or what they do but IF you ever wanted to go back and see one, choose someone else...

Btw if you see your GP, maybe let him know about her technique to force people to taker their dcs back to her. Osteopathy is great but she isn't and he needs to know about her methods before crossing to refer pxs back to her again.

zzzzz · 14/03/2016 08:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Goingtobeawesome · 14/03/2016 08:52

This is out of order. We have used private osteos and physios when the GP was not any help, plus seen a doctor at Harley street and this isn't how decent people would be. Guilting the parents is just awful.

DobbinsVeil · 14/03/2016 09:13

YANB PFB I would be irritated. The email is very contradictory - "to make sure dd's problems don't come back" vs "the way dd was when I last saw her." As other posters have said I would consider informing the GP over the hard sell.

To share a not great osteopath story I took my DS1 to an osteopath when he was around 3 months old. The therapist told me it was "wicked to give dairy to a baby" and I should take him off formula completely and give him apple juice instead. I didn't follow her advice.

Thadeus · 14/03/2016 09:20

Try this place, it is a charity and was fantastic for us. occ.uk.com

originalmavis · 14/03/2016 09:24

Sounds like an awful lot of sessions. When I slip discs, tear duscs, throw my back put etc (it happens with me!) I go for one visit to my osteo - 2 very rarely.

Ignore the email.

originalmavis · 14/03/2016 09:24

But of course check with your doctor of you have any concerns.

BertrandRussell · 14/03/2016 09:28

Report the GP.

Report the osteopath.

Change GPs.

Don't let anyone else fall into the clutches of these two completely irresponsible and unprofessional people.

LoveBoursin · 14/03/2016 13:16

Why reporting the GP? (Even though I'm sure that GP are allowed to recommend osteo, acupuncture etc... but I'm not sure they can recommend a practitioner in particular)

christinarossetti · 14/03/2016 13:50

For making recommendations to a particular practitioner. Completely unethical.

Saying 'you could consider an osteopath' fine. Saying 'try this osteopath' not fine.

scrumptiouscrumpets · 14/03/2016 14:38

Very unprofessional behavior!
If be informing your GP about this - I'm a GP and would never recommend someone I know behaves like this.

scrumptiouscrumpets · 14/03/2016 14:40

Don't know about recommending certain professionals in the UK, I have never worked there.

LoveBoursin · 14/03/2016 14:40

Thanks christina I thought it would be something like this.

But YY to speak to the GP. I hope he/she recommended that person in good faith.

JsOtherHalf · 14/03/2016 14:59

We used a cranial osteopath for DS as a newborn.
Treatment was 3 sessions, for about £140 in total.
He discharged DS at that point, saying he might need a follow up if he'd had a major growth spurt.

He has never contacted us again.

( although i did take DS for some more treatment when he was about 5, to same man)

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