To be upset about weight comment

[Colabottle10]

I'm feeling thoroughly upset

I'm 18 weeks pregnant and really showing quite a lot. I was a size 14 before I got pregnant after losing over 3st going from a size 20. I've put weight on. I know I have. I'm back in my 16/18 clothes. I feel crap. Had an awful pregnancy so far and still suffering sickness and gagging. Still on medication. So I'm not in a good place.

Today I managed to get showered and dressed smartly and drive the hour to my brothers to celebrate his 40th bday. We have a lovely meal out with him and his wife and 2 kids, wife's parents and sister.

Heading back to his to have tea and birthday cake. I'd been joking with the children about the cake only being for adults and that I'd eaten it all up when sister in laws dad says in front of everyone 'well that's why your so fat then'. I couldn't believe it. I walked out.

I feel awful. Why do people think it's ok to comment?

Sorry to derail OP but could we stop with the idiotic, ill-informed cracks about Aspergers. Fucking stupid and offensive.

Congrats on your pregnancy OP.

I think he probably was trying to make a joke, I read it the same way as the other poster. That doesn't mean it was OK, or that you're wrong to be offended (or even to walk out). There really is no need to comment on pregnant women's bodies all the time even in poor taste jokes. Sorry you're feeling down :(

Some people are just horrible bullies.
And a lot of people are so fucking enabling of bullies. "He was just joking!" etc. I sometimes hate the enablers more than the bullies themselves.

When I was pregnant with my first child I proudly wore a badge that said ' I am not fat , I am pregnant ' , although to be fair it should have said ' I am fat and pregnant '

If I were you I would ensure your waters break on his upholstery , car or house , either will do

The people I've known with Aspergers wouldn't say anything like that.

Rude and you deserve credit for doing so well to lose so much weight to begin with. Just try to eat healthily and ignore people who are going to be negative.

Should have said to him "No, That's because I reward myself with chocolate whenever I have to listen to you being a cunt. Wow it's really adding up this week isn't it?"

^THIS!

I've reported you for spamming again King

Kingofall - DFOD

Congrats on your pregnancy

Ignore it OP, easier said than done I know. I find it fascinating how many people suddenly seem to think it's ok to greet me with 'Hello Fatty!' now I'm 22 weeks with DS2. I have quite a large bump for my weeks, but luckily this time round am quite comfortable getting bigger so just smile and nod (but pretty sure one day my hormones will object )

I am the poster who made a suggestion of possible aspergers. I have aspergers, as does my DH, my DMIL and my DS. Sorry to be offensive. The reaction to my comment has made me think, as none of the people I've mentioned as having aspergers would make such a comment.

However I find the swearing used in the comments about suggesting aspergers being offensive offensive to me. I don't swear and neither does my aspie DH or DMIL. I suspect DS does when he's with his pals though

I found this thread in the unanswered messages board and tried to make a helpful suggestion as I know what it's like to be upset and offended by silly remarks. IME, which is in keeping with advice from thoughtful people the best way to not be offended and upset is to understand why people say idiotic things and to remember that idiotic behaviour usually comes from insecurity or ignorance. But I totally get that feeling of wanting other people to sometimes acknowledge that you have been wronged. I bet he's the type to try to make out that you're being over sensitive if you were to challenge his rudeness. He has issues, whereas you have a baby growing in you....

Fair enough rogue I guess the way you typed it made it look like you meant rude = aspergers which crops up on MN a lot.

Unintentionally rude/offensive does quite often go with aspergers. My post was a case in point. Ironic given how much I pride myself on trying to be kind and polite. Why else would I have posted on this thread?