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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not let DD attend religious class?

39 replies

Natsku · 13/03/2016 14:58

DD5 told me today that she wants to go to the religious class at daycare that the other children go to. Its not like R.E. where they just get taught about religion, its the local priest coming in and teaching it like Sunday school at a church and we're not Christian so I'm not keen on her being taught it as if its fact but on the other hand she feels like she is missing out and hates being made to join one of the other classes when her class is having 'Holy Class'

So would it be U to continue opting her out or should I just let her go so she can be with her friends and not feel left out?

OP posts:

betsyderek · 13/03/2016 17:43

I have recently had a couple of those horrible waiting room waits...the type when you are waiting for big results. Both times I subconsciously harmed back to some 80s hymn and found it ever so comforting. Even though I don't believe

Original poster

Natsku · 13/03/2016 17:45

I'm leaning more and more towards just letting her go (provided her dad agrees but I expect he'll be happy to go along with what she wants) as so many think I should, makes sense, feeling left out can be horrid. Would be different if there would others not joining in. But I don't think being taught religion is fact as a child is the way for someone to make a proper choice, that's why my ideal plan was to raise her without religion as a young child, then teach about different religions in a comparative way and then she could truly choose but that does seems rather too difficult to achieve and a bit of a hassle.

OP posts:

Original poster

Natsku · 13/03/2016 17:47

I love hymns betsyderek they always pop into my head at odd times and I get the urge to belt one out

OP posts:

betsyderek · 13/03/2016 17:54

Lord of the Dance is best for those moments.

Original poster

Natsku · 13/03/2016 17:55

Oh great, now that's stuck in my head!

OP posts:

Schwabischeweihnachtskanne · 13/03/2016 18:02

The wanting to be Mary thing is no different to wanting to be Elsa... just wanting to be the heroine of a memorable story she's just seen performed... Think of it like that, as that is really, truly all it is for a 5 year old, and it will be easier to swallow.

Home has to be a counterbalance when religion is being taught to kids as fact elsewhere. I found a short phase of reading bible stories alternately with well known fairy tales helped convey the "they are just famous stories people use as lessons" message without having to keep stating it in so many words - tried the "just so stories" in the mix too but sadly my kids failed to take to them

Schwabischeweihnachtskanne · 13/03/2016 18:09

It does have to be a choice for the child - I think it is important to let them know they can choose to believe without losing your love/ approval - that is the mistake some religious families make IMO and it would be just as bad to insist your child shared your lack of belief in order not to disappoint you. I can't imagine having a religious adult child, but know its a phase a lot of teens go though, and if one of them does embrace religion I will just keep reminding myself its a great comfort to people who truly believe it, but I hope I will not have to bite my tongue endlessly if that happens.

What matters to me is they are not the kind of unthinking, unquestioning, believers who have just swallowed the dominant paradigm whole without engaging their brains, I suppose - and that is what can happen in a system where religion is just taught as literal truth and nobody in a young person's inner circle seems to give head room to the possibility they may not have got it right...

betsyderek · 13/03/2016 18:10

One of my funniest memories is when we were about 17 my old Mini finally died on a corner of a narrow country road. We had to stand there waiting for the AA while the cars slowly crawled past us trying halfheartedly to push it out of the way. It was pissing with rain and nobody would help us and the vicar in his nice new Escort averted his eyes. Sadly for the him the traffic was at a standstill while 4 teenage girls sang "cross over the road my friend/ask the Lord his strength to lend etc" with all verses complete very loudly at him!

Schwabischeweihnachtskanne · 13/03/2016 18:15

:o :o :o betsy

Original poster

Natsku · 13/03/2016 18:28

betsy

OP posts:

Pseudo341 · 13/03/2016 18:50

I'm an atheist, my DD is also 5, I would not let her attend such a class on a regular basis. I'm all for teacher her about religion, but teaching a child one religion as fact every week is brain washing and I would be making it very clear to the staff just how out of order that is. I'm all for letting her make up her own mind, she had a brief phase of deciding she did believe in god, specifically the god Neptune,

Mistigri · 13/03/2016 19:56

My DD used to believe in the Greek gods (apparently quite sincerely; she was very imaginative and credulous as a young child). I've always wondered what the nuns who taught her catechism made of her. I'm sure it was a mutually rewarding experience, and I mean that quite sincerely - the nuns were mainly from French West Africa and very interesting and humble people. I still bump into one of them in town and she asks after DD.

originalmavis · 13/03/2016 20:31

DS has his own theory about life, death, the universe and Everything. I think he may start his own cult when be grows up.

HerdOfRhino · 13/03/2016 21:26

I wouldn't feel comfortable, and wouldn't let her go. I think ChalkHearts has put it well.

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