To not want friends Mum to come away with us?

[SimonLeBonOnAndOn]

I have 3 friends, we are all pretty close, although I am probably closer to and B than C.
We go away for weekends a few times a year and have a good time, all get on, easy company.
This summer we have a long weekend planned, and were chatting abou where to go.
C then says that her Mum has asked if she can come.

Am I awful for not wanting to go if her Mum comes.
I know her Mum and like her but I don't want to spend a weekend with her.
If her Mum comes I'll feel obliged to ask my Mum, which changes the whole weekend.
C sees her Mum a lot and they spend every holiday away together.
Friends A and B have said they don't mind, although would rather she didn't come.

So AIBU for saying that I won't go if Cs mum comes too?

Could be worse i went on a friends birthday night away 5 women and a husband that was weird

Me neither, Roussette. In fact I'm just trying to picture the look on my daughter's face if I asked if I could go away with her and her friends for the weekend. It would be a mixture of and with a double helping of ]!

Oh I hate men who do that, too, MrsJayy! Why the hell did his wife think you'd all want him there? And what's up with him, that he has to go on a night out with his wife and her friends?

YANBU at all! I would def feel the same as you.

They come as a package or something she is a friend of other friend I had no idea he was going till i got there was just awkward

Is your friend Cheryl Fernandez Versini?

YANBU. No way I'd be going on that. Nice as my friends' mums are, that wouldn't be my sort of weekend. Only time I've ever come across this is hen dos.

I went to a friend's (not a good friend, more of a friend through a shared interest) for lunch. There were 7 women invited, weather was glorious and we sat in her pretty garden. Her DH works from home and he sat in the middle of all of us the whole time and wouldn't shut up, he totally dominated the conversation, and woman who invited us all seemed to act like it was normal! What possesses a man to want to spend a girls lunch sat there banging on about nothing. Weird.

This reminds me of the thread about the friend's weekend away when one of them suddenly asked to bring their 6 year old along.

No one wanted to be the one to say 'er, no'. Awkward.

Just be gently honest OP.

Eponas I loved that thread .

Maybe C doesn't want her mum to come either but doesn't want to be the bad guy.

Yanbu to not want her to come along. Or to say politely you'd rather she didn't.

Well... if C can't tell her Mum 'no, this is a weekend with my friends' there is something very wrong!

My DCs just say what they think, as do I !

eponas me too. Whatever happened with that? I need to know. Don't think OP ever updated.

op some good responses on here. Yanbu

C and her Mum are ' like sisters' according to both of them.
Her mum is only about 18 years older than us.
But her mum isn't my friend, and yes I think it's very cheeky for her to ask.

Oh Dearie me sisters how cringey my mum is 19 years older than me we are so not like sisters

only thing I can think would be that you are going somewhere the mother has always wanted to go, otherwise surely she must see how ridiculous it is

I'd say no too really!

Absolutely not, will change the whole dynamic. You need to tell her, that's just weird.

You need to say no and be clear. 'I value the time away together so would rather it would be just the four of us. Could we do a dinner with your mum another time?'

YANBU.

Oh dear, sounds like the Mum wants to be "one of the girls" - and is hanging on to her daughter.........

In asking if she can join you all, she is being really self-centered and inappropriate. She puts everyone in an awkward situation, as no-one wants to be "rude".

I would say to friend C, TBH I find it a bit weird that your Mum wants to come away with us, and either ALL our Mums join us, or none.

I suspect your friend may be rather relieved that she has an excuse for her Mum not to come.......if not, and she thinks it is fine, then I'd suggest that she and her Mum go on holiday together - just the two of them.

I don't see anything wrong with just saying that you would prefer it if it was just the four of you.

Thanks everyone. I'm glad that I'm not BU, will feel OK saying no.

If it's a group of 4 friends even bringing along your sister isn't appropriate. Sisters can get involved in petty bickering any way. I'm glad my mum was happy to be my mum. I have a sister, I didn't need another one, I did need a mum. I think it's sad when mums don't value their role as mum and want to pretend to be 20 years younger than they are and refuse to parent and set boundaries etc.

BMW6 I think you're right.

No fucking way.

Or in a more polite way "C, I'm really not keen on your mum coming. It will change the dynamic. Can we keep it as originally planned just the 4 of us? If you are set on her coming then I think I'll gracefully bow out and we'll have to get something else in the diary"