To want to scream when people boast about their babies being great sleepers

[SilkObsidian]

I am so jealous when friends say their babies sleep for stretches of 5hours or more.

My 6-month-old wakes every 2hours sometimes more often. He has 3-4 feeds overnight, sometimes I can settle him with a dummy but often he's wide awake and shouting from 3am-5am.

I get it that people are proud of their babies sleep but couldn't they be more sensitive?! They know I don't get more than 2hours unbroken sleep at a time. Why do they have to be so smug?

Are you me OP? DS is 8mo and will sleep 8pm-10pm, then be up every 1-2hrs for a feed. He hates his cot after 10pm so he's back in our bed from then.

DD was also a nightmare and didn't sleep through until 18mo, she's brilliant now though (6yo).

And by sleep though, I mean something like 8pm-5am, so a decent amount of adult sleep obtained :)

DD hates sleeping at night and will fight it no matter what. I haven't had more than an hour of unbroken sleep since she was born.

People who boast can fuck right off.

I think dexter has it. Your time will come OP. No-one gets perfect sleeping baby, perfect chilled out toddler, perfectly behaved nicely mannered child, perfect considerate teen.

We all get shite flung at us at some point in our parenting journey

No-one gets perfect everything. Yep, some people get perfect textbook sleeping babies. So your baby isn't one of them? So maybe they'll be a consistently brilliant eater and your friends' 'perfect sleepers' will become fussy extremist nightmares. Or nightmare badly behaved school kids. Or foul stroppy stressy teens. Or whatever. You know what, 'textbook sleeper' babies will cause heartache and stress for their parents in other ways in future.

Don't waste time and energy wanting to scream. Smile and ignore. Your time will come.

I was smug when my baby slept through from birth. Then she hit 5 months and it all went to shit She's a year now and still not a very good sleeper! It can all change and take you by surprise!

Ipswich dh still bangs on about Ewan the sodding dream sheep even though I'm the one doing the night shift. I'm going to insert Ewan into dh's colon while the vacuum sound is playing and see if he can bloody sleep.

My baby mostly sleeps for ten or eleven hours straight when he's not teething - we sleep trained him at six months. But he can be a complete horror when he's awake - I believe "strong willed" is the euphemism of choice. Swings and roundabouts.

Yes!!!!!! I have so many friends who post this nauseatingly smug type of status on Facebook.
And the worst bit is when they say 'what a clever girl/boy'

No, they are not clever, you are just bloody lucky!!!!! My baby is not at less clever just because he doesn't sleep well.

Argh!!!!!

Knackered.

Yes!!!!!! I have so many friends who post this nauseatingly smug type of status on Facebook.
And the worst bit is when they say 'what a clever girl/boy'

No, they are not clever, you are just bloody lucky!!!!! My baby is not at less clever just because he doesn't sleep well.

Argh!!!!!

Knackered.

Oops. So mad I posted twice

I know a few of those.

However they don't keep on and on about the fact that the kids are constantly ill or will only eat waffles and nuggets though. Selective sharing. It's bullshit. Just ignore them.

My favourite was people saying "have you tried making it dark in her room at bedtime". Well if you hadn't said that I'd have continued trying to put her down for the night in a fucking disco. YES IT'S DARK BUT SHE STILL WON'T SLEEP. "Have you tried a consistent routine? " Well, I burst into tears of fatigue at the same time most nights, does that count? YANBU.

I agree it is the smug ones that get to me.. My Ds was 4 before he slept through..

I was a LP doing it on my own from when he was 6 weeks old..

He is still an early riser but also able to be relatively quiet..

I also agree you never know what goes on in peoples worlds esp with parenting.. Not many are open and honest about the challenges..

zog can we be crying buddies? I take chocolate to bed with me just to ensure I look pathetic enough while I'm weeping.

YADNBU
my youngest didn't sleep through til he was 6 - years - not months old.
We tried everything and nothing worked. In the end we got a 6ft wide bed and all managed to get in the region of 7 hrs sleep per night.

There were lots of people happy to be smug or to give advice - which, when you are functioning on very little rest, really grates.

Good news is that now he's a teen he could sleep for England!

Try not to get ground down by it all.

Devil's advocate here: you want me to be sensitive about my sleeper? Can you promise faithfully you have never once mentioned your lack of stretch marks, your pregnancy yoga at 41 weeks (thanks spd), your lovely waterbirth, the fact he rolled over, how cute his hair is, etc etc??? Literally nothing about your child whatsoever? Or is it only sleep that isnt allowed to be talked about because thats the one problem you have? (And i mean all of 'you' in general, not the op particularly).

My point is, perhaps theres the chance people are being a wee bit oversensitive? It's only chat. (I do agree about proper boasting and advice giving though, thats irritating as hell).

It also bugs me when people say that babies dont sleep through, thats its rubbish - so you're calling me a liar?! Thanks.

NB Im just trying to present the other point of view here.

Have you tried putting him down drowsy, but awake?

My DD is 14m and has never, ever slept through - not even close!!!

DS was doing 11-5am from about 10w.

Guess which one was ff and which was bf.

We're up every two to three hours...she's nearly 4 months. You're not alone OP!

YANBU. In fact, I think you're me. I'm clearly so sleep-deprived, I've managed to name change, post this, and change back again. Have a solidarity from me.

My six month old has just, as of the last few weeks, started getting a bit better. He will usually now do 2 hour stretches, 3 hours on a good night. Until a fortnight ago when we cracked and forked out for a Sleepyhead, 4 wake-ups in the first 3 hours, followed by waking at 90 minute intervals despite being in the bed with me as crib Totally Unacceptable was the norm.

All I can say is, dietcokewithwine must be onto something and he's clearly going to be a fucking genius at something, he's just an utterly shit sleeper. Good job he's cute.

zog, WIBU to ban the phrase "Have you tried..."? Have I tried white noise, dark, light, Ewan The Sodding Dream Sheep, "leaving him to self settle", "putting him down awake but drowsy" (nod to 53rd) my neighbours loved me for that, formula, a bottle of expressed milk?

Funnily enough, we've tried 'em all....have only balked at controlled crying/crying it out. And my well-meaning friend's suggestion that I just admit defeat and fork out for a sleep consultant as "it's just a few hundred pounds"

DS is four months and has never been a great sleeper. My two closest friends with babies both have fantastic sleepers. They've never boasted about it though and I think are pretty aware that its down to luck. One of them lives in pretty much perpetual fear that her perfect sleeping baby will suddenly go the way of mine. I think that her fear is almost ruining the experience of having a sleeper!

My dd slept from 7pm-5am from 12 weeks and from 6.30-6.30 from 7 months. I didn't do controlled crying, I fed on demand and didn't use any sleep aids whatsoever. There were nights where she was ill that didn't go like that but otherwise that's how it's been. Am I smug? I don't know. I don't go around boasting, especially if I know someone else's baby doesn't sleep well but I would mention it if asked.

It could be a coincidence, but dd1 (now 12) was the same bar the odd middle of the night wake but she had a dummy so I had to replace it.

I'm pregnant with dc3 now so if I get another good sleeper is that chance? Tbh I don't know! I'm sorry you're having the hassle but I think it's a teeny bit unreasonable to assume parents of good sleepers are smug! Although maybe some are like in all aspects of parenting, you need a thick skin!

Just in case any of you haven't seen this blog on getting a baby to sleep - it's bloody hilarious www.emilywrites.co.nz/how-to-get-your-baby-to-sleep/

Meh! What is that saying 'when all else fails lower your expectations'. Babies are not designed to sleep they are designed to feed little and often throughout the day and night. I had 2 sleepers and then one dud. What are you gonna do? The little fella was a keeper, cute as a button. They all sleep eventually .......... So I am told.

My first never slept all night till he was 2 years 10 months. We were like zombies. My DD came along almost 9 years later and would go down at 5.15 and sleep till 8.30 when she would wake, take a feed and sleep till 11.30. After a feed, change etc she would go back to sleep. I was forever looking at the clock wondering if I should wake her up for a feed. She still likes to nap and then go to bed and sleep.

This will pass.