To be pissed off at DH?

[oxfordyvonne]

Quite furious at him today. So for months and months I've been saying to my husband that he should read "The Girl on the Train" by Paula Hawkins as I read it, loved it and thought it would be something he'd enjoy too. However, he didn't read it as far as I knew despise me recommending it multiple times and even downloading it to his kindle.

Fast forward to today and I notice him sitting on the sofa with his kindle, so I ask him what he's reading to which he replies "Oh, The Girl on the Train - Sarah from work recommended it to me.. I'm almost finished, I think you would love it." Is it unreasonable for me to be absolutely furious at him and his blatant ignorance? The fact that he values "Sarah from work"'s recommendation more than mine? Am I being too sensitive?

^episode

At least he reads! In many many years, dp has read 4 books and the Harry Potters to the DC (Which I'm not counting as they are children's books).

Also, I agree that it was a good book with a disappointing ending.

Tbh my dh does this.

I will suggest something, he answers. A few hours or days later he will make the same suggestion. It used to piss me off. But I know he genuinely has a bad memory. It's worse when work is really full on.

Now I say 'oh you mean like I suggested that to you the other day' he usually says 'I thought it was a good idea, should have known it would be yours'.

And we have a laugh about it and leave it at that.

I thought it was crap.

Oxford my hackles were rising reading your OP as my STBXP is the same. If I tell him a joke he looks at me quizzically and then says "is that it"? But the same joke, told by one of his friends has him in stitches.
I was once planning (and paying for) a weekend away for us to Ireland, and was saying that the destination was in between two airports, so we had a choice of flying from Gatwick or Stanstead, so weighing up the costs with car parking etc.
He came home (from the pub) the next day saying it's nowhere near where I said because "Joe Bloggs" from the pub says so, and he should know because his Dad's Irish.
When I reminded him that my Mum's Irish, and I'd lived there, and showed him the MAP OF IRELAND that I'd printed out with the travel options he got the arse and ripped it to shreds.
We didn't go away after that!
I could write a lengthy novel on this subject, but if I were you I'd tell him the ending and spoil it for him

I can't imagine reacting as violently to this as one or two posters on this thread have.

I thought of the Modern Family episode as well.

YANBU OP - do the same back to him and laugh at him when he gets indignant about it.

I was 'Sarah' once. I knew a bloke at work who often talked about his wife, I knew what her job was, the kind of things they did together at the weekend etc. He really loved her, I'd never met her.

I read quite a few books by a particular author and was talking about one in particular that I found really interesting. I suggested the wife may like them and he should also read them.

He came in a few days later to say he'd bought the book and had recommended the author to his wife who had been less than impressed as apparently she had mentioned the author a while back and wanted to know why he had only been interested in the book when 'Sarah' at work told him 😳
He found it wise not to tell her that I'd also recommended the perfume that he'd bought her, it wasn't one I wore but I just happened to have been given loads of various samples and said it smelt nice when he was talking to the team about her upcoming birthday and what could he buy?

Sometimes 'Sarah' at work is just a colleague your OH talks to and nothing more and plenty of people used to ask me for gift advice (predominitely male industry)

Nothing to say about your DH, but if you loved that book then read 'I Let You Go' by Clare Mackintosh, I could not put that down.

skinny noooo! That book was dreadful
It was one of our book club choices and was unanimously disliked - very rare that we all feel the same!

If it helps I'm a 'Sarah at work' too and wish the man concerned would listen to his partner in the first place too! My colleague was talking about going on holiday and his partner wasn't too keen on the place he fancied, so I recommended somewhere further away but with the same sort of 'vibe' but much nicer... turned out later he'd gone home all excited about it and it was one of the options his partner had suggested and he'd previously said no to (because he hadn't been listening properly I expect and hadn't realised how good an idea it was, not because he fancies me and takes my opinion more seriously). He's done it with smaller things too, and with other women at work. Luckily through events etc his partner is coming to know us so sees it more as a funny thing but she was pissed off regularly to start!

It's definitely not a mutual attraction/affair thing in my case (if he fancies me and is hiding it well I'll literally be gobsmacked), just a 'not listening until told repeatedly' thing. He does it at work too, he'll ask what form to fill in for something, go away, come back another day and ask again, come back another day and tell me he's heard we need to fill in this form for this thing - I just roll my eyes.

However if his reaction with his partner was arsey when pulled up on it or she felt he was taking my opinion suspiciously serious I'd totally understand her being more than pissed off.

YANBU. Didn't he wonder why the book was already on his Kindle?

If mansplaining is a word used to describe a man explaining something to a woman condescendingly, then what is the word for a man who only believes what a man tells him? Manbelieving?

It would irritate me that he read it when someone else suggested it, but I come at this from the other side in that DH always has books/tv etc that he wants me to try. He likes completely different genres to me. I sometimes try them but rarely enjoy them much. If he recommended something once, that would be fine, but he tends to request repeatedly and gets angry/hurt when I don't. I find it very controlling.

I liked Girl on the Train but was very disappointed by the ending.

Yanbu. Hindsight is a wonderful thing but I would have liked to say "really, does she not read very much? I thought it was very badly written and and had very bad reviews from the New York Times - (insert an intelligent put down which I am never very good at).

cakeninja sorry I loved it 😳

I'd be more irritated at getting multiple recommendations from my partner and him being so determined to badger me into reading something that he downloaded it onto my Kindle, to be honest. Under those circumstances, I might well read it in response to someone else's recommendation just to wind him up.

Oh good, someone can predict the future...