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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Babysitting money

51 replies

TheSnowFairy · 10/03/2016 20:49

DS1 (teen) has just started babysitting and has been paid £10.

I know it's not a huge amount but this will be a regular thing. He would be happy to spend it all on crap but I would like him to save some to teach him about earning/saving.

Any ideas as to how to split it?

Or should he have it all to spend as he chooses?

OP posts:
BackforGood · 11/03/2016 00:30

I would talk to him about how much driving lessons cost. Show him how, if each week, he saves £6, how quickly it will mount up. Explain if he's got all the money up front he can have double length lessons or 2 lessons a week and need far fewer lessons than if he had to spread them out, and show him how that means it will cost a lot less in the long term.
Point out to him he will still be £4 a week better off than he was last week (before he started the job).
Find him an account that pays quite a bit of interest (still do them for dc).
Encourage, encourage, encourage, but ultimately, it's up to him.

RealityCheque · 11/03/2016 00:54

LeaLander - it's £10 babysitting money and you expect him to save £2.50 for university?

Sorry, but that is batshit crazy. Which 1/4 should he take his pension contributions out of?

BillSykesDog · 11/03/2016 00:54

Sit down and have a talk with him. Write a list of things he would like to buy. Right from chocolate through to games, clothes consoles and even a car. Ask him to think about other things he might like to save up for like uni, festival or gig tickets, holidays.

Then ask him to think about these things, how important they are to him and prioritise them. When he's had a think about that you can sit down and discuss what he's prioritised and how best to plan to make that happen. He might decide he wants to spend half on chocolates and books and use half to save for a games console. He might decide to spend a quid on energy drinks and put the rest away for a car. He might decide he just wants to spunk it all on some sweets and magazines. Who knows?

But let him make his own decision and stick to it. It's the only way he'll learn to make the right decisions himself. So if he decides he wants to go to a gig he has to find the money if he's chosen not to put any aside. If he decides a bit down the line he wants a car, if he hasn't saved he will still have to make a contribution and not get one until he has made that contribution.

Let him make the decisions but help him explore the options and he'll learn from the mistakes he makes.

Quillered · 11/03/2016 01:32

If he makes £20 from babysitting every week, why not save some for university? One or two thousand pounds will come in very handy when he's older. If he chooses to fritter it away now, he'll regret it later, by which time it will be too late.

jlivingstone · 11/03/2016 02:46

How old is he?

When I got a first job (12 or 13, cleaning the local butcher's freezers and fridges on a Saturday morning), my parents persuaded / told me to save some for a bigger treat. I used to save 1/2 and it quickly became enough for, for example, a HUGE super-soaker water pistol one summer. The envy of all my friends.

icklekid · 11/03/2016 02:49

I'm with bill get him to think of something more expensive he might like that he could save up for. Then suggest he could put half aside each week or if he wanted it sooner then all of it. Does depend a bit if he is 13 or 19 though!

QuiteLikely5 · 11/03/2016 06:13

I think you should let him decide, how would you like it if someone forced you to do something with your cash that you didn't want to do?

Yes, educate him but don't force him.

Life is hard and expensive when your an adult allow him this early freedom for a year or two if you are going to insist he lets you decide how his money is spent

Original poster
TheSnowFairy · 11/03/2016 09:11

He's 14.

quite I'm not insisting on anything!

OP posts:
Original poster
TheSnowFairy · 11/03/2016 09:14

Lea I am trying to make him aware of financial issue thanks, hence the thread.

jlivingstone a super soaker?!

OP posts:
LeaLeander · 11/03/2016 11:27

I know you are, OP, my comment was for the benefit of the "let him learn by blowing all his cash" contingent.

TrueBlueYorkshire · 11/03/2016 11:50

My dad always matched my savings so long as i saved for a long term goal (it had to be for something not electronic e.g. camping gear, bikes, holiday, car). I use to earn £30 working on a Sunday stacking shelves at a friends chemist and i would save £20 and he would match my £20 in a joint account. It definitely gave me the right attitude to saving and also made me really organised. I use to save for holidays and then me and my mates would head off into the mountains for a few days hiking and mischief!

This is back when we were 13-15 years old, and looking back I realise we were much more organised than other children our age e.g. booking accommodation, planning routes, organising transport, food, taking first aid courses and we were only children! We have all gone onto be successful so I can only assume it worked.

Learning to save, plan and pay for things is definitely one important component of discipline and planning along with a good education and support from your parents.

gabsdot · 11/03/2016 12:27

A family I know always made their children pay some housekeeping as soon as they started earning, even babysitting. They paid 1/3 housekeeping, 1/3 savings and 1/3 spending. When they got older and started earning proper money the housekeeping was capped.
All of the 7 children from that family are brilliant at money management, all saved and bought their own homes in their 20s. They were taught money management very well at home

BackforGood · 11/03/2016 21:12

RealityCheque - Why is that crazy ?
Not at my instigation, but purely off her own bat, my dd has saved a lot of her earnings from her PT job. she's started asking me questions about how much a week it costs to live at University, and if she has to have a maintenance loan or if she can just pay her way...... or, if it's feasible for her to run her own car..... either way, it's up to her and the sorts of goals she has set herself.
I think it's an excellent way to think. The whole thing about regular saving habits beginning to mean your cash starts to add up.

LeaLeander · 11/03/2016 21:20

I really like the idea of the parent matching the savings. It needn't be one for one; you could kick in $1 for every $5 the teen saves.

For those who think it's "batshit crazy" to save when young, check out this link - the "story of Ben and Arthur."

www.daveramsey.com/blog/how-teens-can-become-millionaires/

Long story short, one person saves $2,000 a year from age 19 to age 26. And never saves another penny.

The second person saves $2,000 from age 26 to age 65. Every year without fail. Guess who ends up with more money at age 65?

Person 1 ends up with $2.3 million and person 2 ends up with $1.5 million.

Show your son that chart, OP. Even if he can't save $2K a year he can get the idea that money set aside at his age can lead to financial independence at a very young age.

rookiemere · 11/03/2016 22:19

I had a teenage weekend job in a restaurant - spent every penny I earned on make up, clothes and singles. It felt great,it was my money that I had worked for and I loved being able to buy things without having to justify or beg for money from my parents.

FWIW I am now a completely balanced spender/saver and have a fairly prudent attitude to finances. Also by the way that very prudence meant that as I took my small banking bonuses as shares rather than cash to spend, I actually lost pretty much all their value over the crash a few years ago, so maybe spending on what you fancy sometimes isn't such a bad thing.

To me the fact that he's got the wherewithal to be babysitting ( is that legal at 14 btw?) and earning money shows that he'll go far.

By all means offer to match his savings and encourage him to save for something specific, but also don't rain on his parade too much.

pinotnoirismyjam · 11/03/2016 22:22

When I started babysitting at the tender age of 14, my parents let me keep all the money to do with as I wished. I think that's fair - I didn't start saving until I earned "real" money.

LeaLeander · 11/03/2016 22:23

See, that's the point though - why do you feel that the OP would "rain on his parade" if she suggested a more sophisticated and long-range approach to money management than "spending every penny he earns" on claptrap?

If people are raised to see saving as punitive and spending as "fun" it can really stunt their opportunities and choices in adulthood. Look at all the tales of financial woe right here on Mumsnet, or how many women post here who are trapped in horrific relationships due to financial dependence.

No one is saying the kid can't have a few treats but setting aside a portion of every pay is the cornerstone of a future with more options and opportunities. Mindlessly enriching consumer-goods makers without giving it any thought is no way to grow up.

rookiemere · 11/03/2016 22:34

We're talking about ten pounds though here.

Not his first proper job or student loan payment.

If he continues to get babysitting jobs and starts earning a tenner every weekend then maybe that's the time to start discussing saving a bit, but I hardly think blowing your first earned tenner on mindless consumer tat is going to doom you to eternal financial mismanagement.

How much rubbish can you even buy for ten pounds these days anyway?

catgirl1976 · 11/03/2016 22:53

My Grandad used to say

"Spend a bit, save a bit, waste a bit"

I've always liked that.

Not that I can stick to the "save a bit" part though :(

BackforGood · 12/03/2016 00:01

Rookiemere OP has said that - This will be a regular thing.

I think that's why she was asking - a one off tenner is different, but this is about forming habits.

LeaLeander · 12/03/2016 00:50

Yes, rookiemere, and the OP said in her very first post that it's expected to become a regular thing. If it were to be the only ten he'd earn this year she wouldn't have posted. She was looking for ideas to help him learn money management.

Original poster
TheSnowFairy · 12/03/2016 09:03

It is a regular amount.

So far he has decided to spend £6 and save £4. I like the matched saving ideas too - what a great incentive.

OP posts:
Quillered · 12/03/2016 12:52

Babysitting at 14 is perfectly legal, by the way. The child employment restrictions don't apply to babysitting.

breezydoesit · 12/03/2016 15:43

lealeander couldn't agree with you more. My mum (very prudent from a young age as both parents died young and she had to look after herself) was always keen on me saving. This has paid off dividends. I'm 35 with my own home that I've owned since my early 20s and a fair amount of savings in the bank. I still enjoy myself but it will never harm your son to save a little OP.

SpiritedLondon · 12/03/2016 17:02

how old is he? I think there's a certain value with letting him buy his own stuff with the money and if he spends it all on crap so be it. The important thing is that he doesn't then just expect you to buy loads of other stuff for him because he's skint. I think older kids can benefit from an allowance in a monthly sum with a condition that they take over responsibility for buying certain items themselves.... Toiletries for example. If you really want to encourage saving then you might want to offer to match whatever amount he saves, or otherwise contribute to his savings plan ( if matching it would be difficult adding £1 or £2 for every £10 he saves).