To think this is incredibly PFB?

[kdilkington]

A mum has just come on to my local forum ripping into a company for the following:
Maplin have remote control cars (I think) the kind kids can sit in

She said (edited out the swear words) "its so ridiculous that companies have these cars outside the shops. I am sick of having to make a detour to stop my son from taking a tantrum when he realises he can't have the car, they are so expensive it's not fair to do that to kids"

Does that mean I can come to Kurt Geiger for having shoes I can't afford on display

If you say no and mean it they soon learn that tantrums are pointless

This ^^

Oh bless, I don't think multinationals give much of a fuck about kids though. Especially as half the products they sell were probably made by them.

It's damn annoying. My kid will have the tantrum to persuade me to let him go on, then the tantrum about getting off - regardless of if I buy it or not. He tantrummed about handing a bottle of water to the cashier for the millisecond she needed to scan it the other day.

I have of course learned that taking him shopping is not worth the drama and to get savvy at internet shopping but there's still occasions we get caught out or he's been really good or fallen asleep and I stupidly think I can probably risk it now rather than make a second trip another day and it does feel like shops are set up to taunt parents and provoke child tantrums with the sweets by the till, toys outside, even child DVDs and sweets in shops that should be boring enough to peruse with a small child like homebase or BandQ

It would be helpful if the most boring shops for children didn't have any stimulus at all for them - even if I buy the bloody sweets they might be the wrong shape or stuck together or something equally tragic

I used to think parents should control tantrumming children better too - then I got one. I have now realised I need a straight jacket and gag to be able to stop some tantrumming along with my marvellous parenting skills.

Jimjack I'm the same but DS said a few months ago that it makes him sad that the rides are always broken! This made me visualise the day he is at the age he is no longer interested and had never been on one, so I decided that the next time I see one he can go on it and I won't tell him its broken.

Lo and behold - every single one since has actually been out of order!

Oh god, my ex's dad bought one of these for DS2 last Christmas. I don't wish to sound ungrateful but it was feckin enormous and looking at the instructions would have taken about a month to put together. I ended up having to say sorry, you'll have to take it back (DS hadn't seen it btw I'm not that cruel) as I live in a tiny house and have no room for it. Plus round here it would get nicked within seconds, probably with DS still inside it. Don't ever tell DS as he'll never forgive me .

Ex FIL being a typical 'Disney Grandad' though it was a great idea when he saw them and gave no actual thought to the practicalities of them.

My dc tantrum but my answer is still the same. They have to learn "no" at some point. Mind you I must have weird kids as they don't demand stuff in a shop. They often point to toys and say "for my birthday please can I have xyz?" But that's about it.

If you have kids, you sign up for tantrums.

Yep :)

'If you say no and mean it they soon learn that tantrums are pointless'

Comments like this used to make me feel so crap, they are very blaming of the parents for tantrums. I never EVER said yes to one of those car things but my ds still had tantrums about it. For about a year. It was extremely wearing. Some children are extremely persistent in their tantrums through no fault of the parent.

I avoided the cars, but I wouldn't have expected them not to exist.

I agree Humphrey. I consistently say NO and to the same things - DS still tantrums. I could equally give in once in a while for p&q but he's still tantrum - it's more about helping him master his emotions than saying no

Yeah they are the worst of parents element

Yes, pigeonpoo. Some children tantrum because they have learned it is an effective way to get their own way. Most children tantrum because they have an emotion they don't know how to deal with. My son is 7. Here's how tantrum conversations go now:

He:

The child over the road has one of these cars, he's just 2. He can't bloody drive it so his dad does the remote control thing for him, but they do it up the middle of the fecking road so no one can get past! Mum pushes the new baby alongside in the pram and they're both grinning in that "isn't it cute" way! It makes me rage!

I think you are looking at this the wrong way.

Maplin put those cars on the pavement to get a response. The response they want is for you to buy them. They make more money. They become a shop kids want presents from.

They also want other people to buy other things in their shop.

If every time someone thinks they might buy something from Maplin they have to go past one or more screaming toddlers, maybe they will have 2nd thoughts. Maybe if every time they go into Maplin they get run over by a pre-schooler in an electric car, they will go elsewhere. They make less money. They become a shop people avoid.

Maplin want a response. Let them have it. Then see how they like saying "No". Lets see how they handle "Well, you put it there to make her want a go in it, so she is having a go in it. No I will not reward your company's blatant PesterPower attempt by buying anything here."

Or they could reposition their car to find different responses.

I am sure some big shop, maybe a supermarket, stopped putting those sweets at the checkout due to "feedback" about a decade ago.

AIBU?

/hides

Maplin put those cars on the pavement to get a response. The response they want is for you to buy them. They make more money. They become a shop kids want presents from.

You can say that of any shop though! We have a toy shop in our town that had a big giraffe outside the window. Now our child isn't quite old enough yet for the 'Gollum tantrums' (as I call it), but I wanted it . I remember my youngest sibling at that age and I remember the horror of tantrums, even wanting every pretty dress we passed in shops. What can you do? Shops have to market their items, should they put all the things toddlers may throw hissy fits over under sheets, or behind shutters like ciggis?

Not quite on point, but I did used to tell dd that museum shops were just part of the display and not selling stuff. I imagine that would be considered cowardly parenting though!

Jeez, my son has hit tantrum territory now (just turned 2) but I'm not precious enough to think that shops shouldn't have anything tempting on display just in case he kicks off!

I remember reading on another forum a couple of years ago someone actually complaining about the Disney World adverts and saying that they ought to be banned because they couldn't afford to go and it made their children feel bad! Seriously?! Suck it up, dude!

How does a child learn they can't have everything they desire if their parent actively avoids going near anything they might want?

I very rarely have any trouble with DS (DD is only 1 so a bit young to know). I have never avoided anything that might cause a tantrum. He soon learnt a tantrum got nothing and doesn't normally even whine a little when hes told he can't have something.

Finally - my DS has never learned a tantrum gets something. I don't ever reward them and I'm well practiced as there are many. He is simply not in control of his emotions yet - hence he's a tantrummer. Some children can self regulate earlier than others. Some just are naturally calmer children

Yes pigeonpoo, I have had one tantrummer and one child who only ever had one tantrum. If I had only had DD I may have been smug about my superior parenting too.

I think it's pretty normal for all children to have tantrums. It's how we respond to them that matters. It won't make any difference to the tantrum itself but it nevertheless matters how we respond.

Pointless avoiding. Go through the pain. Short term pain for long term gain.

I think you are all being massively unfair, I think that this mum is on to something,

There a house for sale in our village that I really want to live in, but it is really out of my price range, I think it should be torn down so I don't have to look at it every time I pass it.

I Want Doesn't Get. Repeat on a loop.