Sometimes people aren't horrible selfish bastards, they're just human and make mistakes

[eastpregnant]

I was sat in the priority seat on the tube (I'm 32 weeks pregnant). I was reading and not paying attention to anything around me.

Suddenly I heard a woman exclaiming "oh my goodness, has nobody offered you a seat? That's terrible" and other words to that effect. I looked up and realised that there was an elderly lady with a walking stick stood up right in front of me. I immediately offered her my seat, but then another man stood up for her so she took his seat instead. All sorted.

But then, the first woman starts talking loudly to her friend about how selfish people are, especially the younger generation, how it's unbelievable that they would stay sat down and "make old people stand". It went on for ages and the rest of the tube was silent so everyone could hear.

I felt so small and embarrassed, and could feel my cheeks burning. But it also made me quite angry. Why do some people always think the worst of others? I'm not some entitled special snowflake who feels she deserves a seat just because she's pregnant. I wasn't ignoring her, I just genuinely didn't see the elderly lady.

I've had a terrible week at work and so I realise I'm probably being over sensitive and this is not something to get worked up about, but it's really upset me.

AIBU to think that most people, most of the time, are just quietly getting on with their lives and if their behaviour isn't 100% perfect it's not because they're selfish and malicious. Maybe they're just human and made a mistake!

YANBU. I quite often think the same while reading the threads where people take huge offence at comments made by others. Sometimes, obviously, these have malicious intent , but I'm pretty sure they are mostly people who know they must say something, aren't that interested and just speak without thinking.

I completely agree with you, most people are good but we all make mistakes sometimes (although as you're fairly heavily pregnant, I don't personally even think you did anything wrong). This is something I notice a lot here on MN - someone tells a story about someone else who has often just made a mistake, but so many people feel the need to call them selfish, uncaring or telling the op to cut them out of their life. Of course some people are better out of your life, but most of the time I'm sure it's just a mistake. But then again, I'm often accused by family for "thinking the world is all sunshine and roses"! Even if I do, it's got me this far and helps me to be a more compassionate and contented person, so I don't intend on changing

Yanbu but I think she was having a rant at everyone, not just you.

Rudness is often people genuinely not noticing or they spoke without thinking.

There's often such a big crush on the tube that unless there's someone who is obviously in need standing right beside you its hard to see. I have been in the middle of the rush hour standing crowd before, seen a none English speaker with a baby and young kids and shouted down if there's a spare seat, several people immediately made themselves known, then people helped her through. On the whole I find London tube travellers willing to help but with all the crowds its easy to not notice.

A few months back I caught a mild winter bug, few sneezes, a little achy, tired but with vertigo. I would sit down and then slowly count to 60 before the world would start to stop spinning. My husband worked from home because it wasnt safe for me to drive. After a week of being house bound I was essentially fine again but a bit fuzzy. We went to the cinema so I could get out of the house but nothing strenuous. Film finished and I was bursting and walked to the toilet, there was no queue and lots of people walking in and out with cubicles becoming free. I marched in, set course and found myself in a cubicle. Outside I heard someone exclaim about that rude woman and no manners. As I was washing my hands it dawned on me that I was that rude woman Then I started dim recollections of a shadow on the same trajectory as me. Yes, I must have marched in there, cut someone up and got in there first. I was oblivious, she saw rude pushy person.

YANBU. On tube in particular people tend to be in their own bubble oblivious to the world around them. And even if they aren't nobody should be making assumptions. A pregnant woman once berated me on the tube for not leaping out of the priority seat for her when I'd just given blood and thought I was going to pass out. In fact I think i started my very own AIBU thread about it!

Some people have bigger gobs than others
Some people have mother's that are bigger
than other people's mothers

Maybe in London but I was on the subway in New York and an elderly lady with a walker came on with her son. She clearly couldn't stand. Her son said very loudly 'can someone please offer my mother a seat' No one got up. He said it again. No one got up. Then he made a comment to one of the men sitting who did promptly get up - but to fight with him(!) - so clearly no hidden disabilities!!
So, yeah people often make mistakes and honestly don't see, I know I have, but not always the case!!

Its funny how a stranger demands indirectly people to stand up and people get up. So someone had to say something before the man (not you) gets up.
She was saying what was true op although considering you were not lookin dont let it bother you but she had a point in general

That woman should know that disabilities come in visible and invisible forms. Not everyone who looks like they aren't disabled is in fact not disabled. So yes, you're being unreasonable if you shame people who don't look disabled for not giving up their seat.

I got a bollocking yesterday for being in a disabled space and using a blue badge when I am clearly not disabled.

I had to politely point out that the person behind him on crutches was and could he get out of the way of the car door fuck off so she didn't have to get soaked while he interefered in something that was nothing to do with him.

As it was, I'd dashed ahead to put the shopping in the car and get the trolley back so I could go back to the shop with a brolly and help her get over to the car, but was rudely sidetracked and she got fed up waiting.

Don't worry about it, you were doing nothing wrong.