To wonder about the obsession of joint finances?

[Organon8]

Inspired by another thread, what is the obsession with having joint finances with your partner/spouse?

So many people display such horror and shock when you tell them you have separate finances.

I have heard to plenty of stories where one partner has cleared the whole account and no action can be taken against them.

People are free to have separate finances, it does not indicate a less strong marriage or partnership.

I have separate account from my DH. He pays for all household expenses, bills and childcare from his own account. It works for us

[Boredworkingmum020]

Me and my husband have separate finances - we both pay the bills etc we trust each other to keep things fair. I don't see the need for a joint account/ can't be arsed to change direct debit details. Whatever works for the couple is what matters. If had ended up marrying an ex who came came out with the comment "I don't know how I'm going to control the relationship if you earn the same as me" I would have insisted on joint accounts, but then I wouldn't married the controlling tosser.

[Postchildrenpregranny]

We have a joint account into which all income goes ,and out of which all joint expenses are paid. Back in the day that would have included childcare, then University fees etc. I have my own account which is topped up by (agreed by both of us)lump sums twice a year .I use for clothes,outings in which DH isn't involved,treats for my DDs etc-discretionary spending if you like . I like some privacy.Not that DH would ever query a purchase If I need to buy a big item e.g . a winter coat I will use the joint account.We have a joint credit card and each has our own in addition
DH does our joint finances and will buy anything he needs/ wants from the joint account (he doesn't spend much,bless him, and isn't bothered about privacy) Tbh I rarely look at the joint account and trust him implicitly.I am pretty sure he hasnt stashed away a huge amount somewhere.Our savings and the house are strictly 50:50 for tax and other reasons .
Over the years it has varied who has brought in the higher income but to us the idea of paying for things in proportion to the income you bring in (and one partner possibly having far less discretionary spending)is a bit weird ..especially when you have DCs
When we married DH earned twice what I did . For the last five years we have been living on my pensions alone
It's just family money .

[SciFiFan2015]

Our finances are completely merged but we still have personal accounts. So we have decided on our spending priorities (significantly mortgage, pension, childcare) then we add up all our outgoings (we have spreadsheets galore for averages and miscellaneous!) then we add up all our income salaries and child benefit. Make sure that all the outgoings are covered (which includes a pension contribution for us both) then half the surplus. The surplus is our personal spending money for us to use as we choose (presents/dates etc). This is really fair (for us) because it covers the expenses as a joint responsibility and then we each have the exact same "slush fund". I like our system, my husband likes our system. We have completely joint finances and completely separate finances.