to think my brother could make more of an effort?

[luannaar]

My brother and his family live about an hour from me. They have two boys aged seven and nine.

My SIL's parents are about an hour from them too, in the other direction.

If I suggest visiting them, or invite them to visit us there's always a reason (working late, the boys have activities etc), none of which are unreasonable.

But every other week they are with SIL's family, or they have her sister visiting, or they are off to visit her father in Portugal.

In the last year, I've seen my nephews twice, on days when SIL was busy.

I can live with SIL not liking me, that's entirely up to her (although I can't see that she knows me well enough to feel strongly either way), but I'm hugely hurt by my brother's behaviour.

Your SIL makes an effort to see her family, and he drifts along with them.

DB doesn't make a particular effort to see his family. It's impossible to tell whether SIL deliberately prevents him, or unsuccessfully encourages him, or neither.

IIWY I'd make arrangements with SIL rather than DB. She sounds like the organiser of the family!