To have found sharing a bag a little stressful?

[YesILikeItToo]

Went abroad by aeroplane for a night recently and travelled light. DH and I shared a bag about the size of a large handbag. It had one pocket on the outside.

It really messed with my head not having a handbag with me. I was utterly anxious about stuff falling out my pockets, which is not surprising I suppose because it's not what I am used to. But I also felt weird about not being in control over what was in the outside zip pocket of the bag and what was in the main bit. I put some mints in there at the airport and was unrelaxed about not knowing what criteria was being used in filling the outside pocket.

I don't think I'll do it this way again. Would you cope?

Yes, diddl I chose to put stuff in my pockets, I carried my phone in my pocket and my cash. Other stuff went in the shared bag.

oh I hate not having a handbag, even if you don't want to have a big bag that counts as your hold luggage, at least a small cross body bag with my purse/phone/passport. I've not been someone who has just shoved stuff in my pockets, I prefer a bag.

I hated on holiday last year DH picked up all 4 passports and put them with e-ticket info etc in his bag, but then as we went through the airport, he had my passport and boarding card. I just found it stressful not having them on me, which probably comes from having travelled alone a lot in my early 20s (was a time I was overseas for a couple of days every month). I've said this year I have to have my passport and boarding card with me, it would be like giving DH my purse, just doesn't feel comfy not having it.

No. I have a bag system and could not cope with it being violated.

On a similar note, I used to go on nights out with a friend who would always ask to put her wallet in my handbag. So her heavy, overstuffed wallet would have to go in my tiny bag that I had arranged specifically so that it had everything I needed but was an agreeable weight.

oh and OP - I think my issue is also it feels a bit infantising (or whatever the word is) - that DH is taking on the parent role of looking after the important stuff. I like to have what I need on me, so that if we got separated it doesn't really matter IYSWIM.

Oh well, your own fault then & you won't do it again!

I often travel alone with just a rucksack as depending on the airline you may not be able to have a handbag as well in the cabin & it is a nuisance having to drag that around.

can see how swanning around completely luggage/nagless would be appealing.

my DH holds everything for me, I don't even have a handbag.

Surprisingly, (to me), I wouldn't be bothered by this. I take a bag with me everywhere when I'm out but someone else carrying everything, (presumably), when going on a plane would suit me nicely.

Although I might have used a pouch to put inside the bag so all my bits could be together. Then on the plane, that could be lifted out quickly before the bigger bag went in the compartment.

Surburban I know someone who does that. It's annoying! Going out bags are only tiny. Room for money, lipstick and phone not someone else's hulking purse. Grr!

itsonlysubterfuge - what if you get separated?

Interesting subterfuge. You are delegating, are you? He's tasked with producing the stuff again when it's needed? The thing about the share was we were sharing the space without having any shared understanding about how it was being used.

I don't understand why that was the part that bothered you the most Yes. For me it would be having to ask for things when I needed them. Can you explain what it was exactly?

No YANBU. That would make me extremely anxious. It's like being a child again and completely dependent on the person with the bag/things.

If I wanted to travel light I'd just take a small cross-body bag with essentials in it. I'd be worried about things dropping out of pockets, as the crease of my arse seems to make my phone jump out of my back pocket when I make even the slightest movement.

Wagglebees I have found my people!

DH bought a secure man bag thing for travelling. I thought, hooray, I will be freeeeee and unencumbered and he can look after all the shit. But I had to ask him every time I wanted my cashcard/boarding pass so it turned out to be crap really.

Next time I am going to wait for him to pack the man bag and then I will put my purse into my own bag with a book, a scarf and room for duty free :)

I put a bag inside a case -you can carry it separately up to getting on if you wish and get it out again on the plane ...for reading stuff etc. Then put it back in for getting off navigating changes/getting out the airport.
I do like pockets ...phone/purse/keys goes in pocket and passports/tickets/money in a security belt around my waist...(two sometimes -one on the outside of my clothes and the one with real money in it hidden on the inside)

"The thing about the share was we were sharing the space without having any shared understanding about how it was being used."

You said this
About a bag
And sharing it with your DH

Are you bored?

I don't really know waggle I was just aware that there's more to having a handbag, control over a piece of personal space, than simply the convenience of having stuff to hand. To me, mints go in the little pocket because they are little. But are they important enough? Is the little pocket a passport only type space? I don't know! It's not my handbag and I'm experiencing a frisson of doubt!

I don't want to exaggerate the level of stress, here, I just thought it was noticeable and made me realise what I wasn't liking about the arrangement.

Oh, yes, and that too dish. Thanks for reading this far!