To think school should be doing more to protect DS and others?

[omegamale]

DS is in year 3 at local primary school. Generally a good bunch of children but one boy in his class has serious issues around ADHD (I think he has some kind of diagnosis) which include violence.
I can think of at least three children who have been removed to other schools directly because of 'Boy X'. He is a bright kid but seems to have no social behaviour filter and is very intolerant and aggressive.
DS wavers between extreme confidence and deep uncertainty, and he's not able to keep Boy X away. This boy is overly aggressive during playground football (for example) and yesterday, when DS joined the game late and picked up the ball, Boy X grabbed DS, threw him down and bit his hand (hard). DS was only trying to pass the ball back and ask to join in. Playground staff were on hand to sort it and Boy X did go to class teacher, who has given him a one breaktime in classroom sanction and also told him he will miss 15 mins of today's PE lesson.
Only a couple of weeks ago, DS went to the toilet, singing away (as normal)
and Boy X, who was in a cubicle, told DS to open the door (which was unlocked), then flicked a dirty toilet brush all over him. I spoke to head teacher about this - not least because of the potential health consequences - and Boy X was excluded for a day but not a great deal else happened and the HT, a born diplomat, suggsted that because only the two boys were present, there was no proof DS didn't do something to annoy/upset Boy X. I know he didn't, and he was pretty traumatised by the episode.
Boy X enters and leaves school via reception instead of the normal route, and spends a good half his school day working on his own outside the head teacher's office - because of his general disruption and more specific bullying - but the school seems reluctant to act properly on this issue.
His parents are pretty strict with him, and his mother is clearly at her wits' end. I have some sympathy for her, but more for DS and his classmates, who are sick of having to put up with this situation.
We have a good relation with school and I don't want to go behind their back to complain to LEA, but I'm not sure what else to do.

Very good point about the brushes, WorraLiberty - I will definitely menion that

salsa I think you are being unfair on the OP. If the boy can not behave himself then he should be supervised fully, including going to the toilet. I know this costs money, but like the OP says, the school should be pushing for it. The other children have a right to attend school without being attacked.

salsa I think you are being unfair on the OP. If the boy can not behave himself then he should be supervised fully, including going to the toilet. I know this costs money, but like the OP says, the school should be pushing for it. The other children have a right to attend school without being attacked.

Sounds like this boy needs one to one at playtimes as worra said. I've heard this can be difficult as often lea will only fund for the actual lesson times. It doesn't sound like the school are actually doing a good job of meeting the needs of any of the kids involved to be honest. I can see why a headteacher may speculate about provocation, I know my dd has come home telling me about kids deliberately taunting a child with sen in her school to get him to explode and get into trouble. I'm not suggesting this is what op's son was doing but if others have done it to the boy then they may feel it is a general issue.

Because for a start Katenka, the child the OP is talking about, has diagnosed additional issues. No doubt the child who assaulted your daughter has oh ther things going on too but in THIS case the child already has known issues he has to deal with

And? It's still doesn't mean thebOPs child triggered this reaction by accident or on purpose.

The behaviour is still not ok.

SEN or Education boards might be a better place for a constructive debate.

Don't really know what to offer in terms of suggestions

Don't worry, it's all been solved now. He has been removed from the secondary. He left her alone for most of secondary before he went. He did try and threaten her once. School police officer dealt with it. I can't help think that the primary could have done more though.

I would second the advice to not really talk about the boy but come from the 'what are you doing to protect my child?'. The primary actually gave in an assigned a 1-2-1, in the end. Although he did manage to assault another pupil while with his 1-2-1.

Moving schools isn't always the answer. As in my situation he ended up being moved out of one school and into dds new school.

These incidents highlight the problems schools face with this sort of child; there is nowhere to send them and mainstream cannot accommodate them. It is almost impossible to exclude a child. He needs to be in a special unit or school, but they have been reduced or closed under the panacea that 'all teachers are teachers of special needs'. The school is putting some measures in place: separate entrance, working outside's head's office, but the incidents seem to take place in the playground or toilets, more difficult to monitor.
All you can do is keep complaining, in writing, but you may have to move your child.
Write to Nicky Morgan about the lack of provision for Special Needs and the impact this has on other children and their education.

Sounds like the boy needs to be more closely supervised, maybe with a one to one at all times outside the classroom. I used to be a lunchtime one to one for a child with ADHD and I was warned not to let her leave my sight for a second. She was accompanied to the toilet and I wasn't to let her out of my immediate reach in the playground. It was such hard work because the impulsivity would kick in and she would be like a whippet across the playground but 99% of the time though you could spot what she was about to do and divert her so she wasn't able to hurt or upset the other kids.

You won't ever know what the school is doing with regard to this child because it is confidential. And even where it has affected your child you won't know.

Have a look at you school's behaviour policy. By law it should be online on their website.

Once a child has had a certain number of exclusions (that is external exclusions, nor internal exclusions where the child is removed from their class for the day) and the school has exhausted all possible ways in which they could help the child then it will trigger a hearing for a permanent exclusion.

It sounds like the school and the parents are working hand in hand to support this boy to the best of their ability. It also sounds like this boy's behaviour is beyond the capabilities of mainstream school to help. But all this is actually none of your business.

Your only business and concern is your own child. You won't give the school anything to work with if you address this in terms of the behaviour of the other child.

You need to go to the class teacher and from there to the head if needed to discuss this in terms of the safeguarding of your children and how they are going to ensure his access to education.

At the moment this other child is placing obstacles in the path of your child's learning. Your child is anxious and afraid going to school and is being placed under undue stress because the acts of violence are random.

The school has a duty of care towards the safeguarding of your child and a duty to provide access to learning.

If you focus on your child in the meetings and what the school can do to help him then this is something the school can work with.

^^ This.

The school have a duty of care towards your child, and you can and should ask the school what they are doing to keep him safe. You can talk about other children and parents in the playground but the school must never discuss another child with you.

All the speculation on this thread about what should be done about the other child is just that - speculation. You are not entitled to know how this child is being supported or what sanctions he is receiving. You don't really need to know. All you need to know is what they are doing to keep your child safe.

My daughters have periods of time when they are that kid, the kids everyone else is scared of. I can honestly say that I've done everything I can to stop this happening and in the year between children's services advising I stop contact with their father and him securing an extensive unsupervised contact order the girls had no issues at all at school. I work with the school every day to monitor behaviour and reward good as well as punishing bad.

The school can't tell anyone the situation my kids are in which at times makes it hard for parents to understand that we are doing all we can and as both girls are academically top of their classes we don't want to remove them to alternative provisions and add a reduced education to their already rubbish childhood.

I have signed physical restraint policies for both my children, I have authorised supervision sessions rather than playtime, I have been into school during the day and dealt with the issue directly myself. I have apologised to other parents and other children and to the teachers who at times must have nightmares about my kids and I have done absolutely everything the school have asked me to do but sometimes, sadly, there is nothing I can do and that is the worst feeling as a mother.

If the school your child goes to really isn't doing anything about the boy then please protect your child and get out of there leaving complaints along the way but please try not to think too badly of the boy he may well be living a life no child should have to endure and school may be the only place he feels safe enough to scream for help the only way he knows how.

Nyn and freeman these are all valid and germane points. Thank you for taking the time to post. I have no intention of taking DS out of a school where he is generally happy. I hope I (we) have been tolerant and understanding towards this child and the advice to focus solely on DS is good. freeman I hope things improve for you

child in question needs more support. one to one if necessary. not likely to happen.

the more you report incidents, the more likely he is to get the support, though that may unfortunately for him be in another school.

it is just a really shit situation for all involved.

Are you in London, op?

southern england. why do you ask?

I've got a ds of the same age and am experiencing the same problem!

Sometimes schools have to admit that they cannot cope with behaviour, or that environment is not right for the students needs, either he needs a managed move to go to a SS which specialises in emotional behavioural difficulties, or a PRU. The school schould also be pursuing a EHCP, so that he has a One to one, and that he is supervised at break or lunchtimes.

Or tgat they EHCP will enable him to go to a more appropriate school.

I often wonder if schools do not want stories of bullying assaults and uncontrollable behaviour getting out into the public domain so that the school ratings don't suffer. There seems to be so much of this going on just now.
Older people known to me (probably in their 60s) have told me of 40 kids in a class, no teaching assistants just 1 teacher who controlled the whole class.

I wonder why these situations seem to be growing in number.
I don't know but would be interested to hear suggestions.

Oh goodness Bouquet where to start with that. 40 kids to a classroom and only one teacher - discipline was kept by use of the cane. Liberal use. I am just old enough to remember corporal punishment. We got the cane (you had to hold out your hand and you got whacked. It hurt!) if we couldn't answer our timestables off the tip of our tongue! Kids were left pretty much to themselves and bullying was rife. God for it you had something as minor as dyslexia or dyspraxia back then you were thick and probably spent most of your time sitting in the corner facing the wall. That's how they kept classrooms quiet! Do you seriously think that system was the good old days?

We had one poor kid who had adenoid problems and we made his life hell I imagine. We called him dribblepuss all through primary even though his adenoids were sorted early on. Openly in front of other teachers!

I am not British. The country I am from banned corporal punishment for girls first, in the late 70s.