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AIBU?

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Original poster

Mother's Day

12 replies

Jvo82 · 09/03/2016 06:10

AIBU that I'm upset that my partner got his mother flower and cards and took it round to her yet got me nothing! Not even a card, hug, kiss nor acknowledgement from my 3.5yr old and 9mth old? He left me on my own with the kids all day so he can do "his bits". I bathed them, cooked n fed them all the usual stuff which I don't mind doing but I was kind of looking forward to a day of "enjoying" them if you know what I mean. He works away and is only back at wknd, he also popped out to "help a friend" yet didn't spend anytime with me and kids all day. He says that hes not as good as me at listening/watching out for the kids when he has "things" to do. My ds jumped out of the bath whilst I was dressing dd, I shouted for help yet he didn't come upstairs, just shouted up!!! (Because coming up the stairs is inconvenient). He was doing some chores like hooving, mopping but my point is, how can he think about his mum but not me, he didn't even make the kids say happy Mother's Day to me, I brought my own gifts (a pillow and heart £8 from Tesco) he hasn't even offered me money for. We were food shopping, and he ran back in to get his mum flowers and card.. I know my kids are young but a cuddle and kiss and acknowledgement would have been nice, you teach them young. Sorry for the rant

OP posts:
HackerFucker22 · 09/03/2016 06:36

Is he always so selfish and useless?

Thattimeofyearagain · 09/03/2016 06:42

Have you told him all of this ?

TheWoodenSpoonOfMischief · 09/03/2016 06:43

Have you told him all this?

Bellygirl · 09/03/2016 07:01

My DP got a card and present for his mum but nothing for me from my DS too...I had jokingly asked him what he was getting me and he said 'nothing, mother's day isn't a real thing' then ran down to the shops the next day to get his mum something before we went round there!? Hmm

Clearoutre · 09/03/2016 07:22

As per PP's advice...Tell him all this!

Ok he does hoovering & mopping so he doesn't sound lazy just inconsiderate. I'd be sorely tempted to take a whole day off next weekend and say you've got 'things to do'...no may be save until Father's Day....evil cackle....

BrideOfWankenstein · 09/03/2016 08:16

Father's Day is in June. Plenty of time to plan your revenge. I'd be booking weekend away alone and taking DC to my parents, so he wouldn't be able to feel like a father on that day.
I wouldn't call him or acknowledge him in any way during that weekend. I also would tell him only couple of days in advance.

FigMango1 · 09/03/2016 08:21

Yanbu, very uncaring of him to not get you anything on behalf of your dc. He could have also spoilt you by doing everything you normally do for them, I'm sure you would have felt appreciated by small gestures.

Twixthecat · 09/03/2016 08:24

Tell him! Is this the first year he's not acknowledged it with you?
Tell him you were gutted and explain what you'd expect next year. Remind him a couple of weeks before next time. Then on the day.

My attitude is if you expect a suprise from DP... you still have to tell him to prepare a suprise. I'm sure there are partners out there that spontaneouslying do what we are secretly hoping for but have never let on - but most need a bit of a big sledgehammer type hint.

GnomeDePlume · 09/03/2016 08:24

Ask him how he feels about events such as Mothers Day, Fathers Day etc. I dont think that we did anything for these until the DCs were at school and they became part of the school calendar IYSWIM.

He isnt lazy by the sound of it just maybe he doesnt see these types of events as meaningful except as child to parent - basically recognising it up the generations.

BuBu82 · 09/03/2016 09:32

I told him that night and haven't spoken to him properly since (works away, no signal) so we just text no and again, he says that he feels awful and that there's always next year! But I can't get over that he can think of his mum and not me... His mum is a nasty piece of work which he knows yet his answer is always "she's my mum"! He is inconsistent and inconsiderate, he likes to get what he "needs to do" "out of the way" then me and the kids come next. I tell him being a father and partner is something that he needs to do shouldn't that be priority but he doesn't seem to understand because he says the things that he is doing is for us.. How is popping out to help a friend for us?

BuBu82 · 09/03/2016 09:32

Yes definitely thinking of taking revenge on Father's Day mwahahahaaaa x

GoblinLittleOwl · 09/03/2016 10:15

Wouldn't it be more productive to make a big thing of Father's Day, to give him and your children some hints of what might be nice ie card, present, children making a fuss of him.(perhaps his mother never bothered to do special things with her family.)
And a special meal/family activity to stop him 'popping out to help a friend' and 'doing things', particularly as he is away all week.
If it fails, book the whole weekend away.

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