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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To say something to someone

28 replies

Headdesk · 08/03/2016 19:31

I'm at uni, I've noticed that a friend of mine is being picked on by a lecturer. Lecturer has seemed to have had a problem with her since the beginning. We are a mainly practical course and I've seen her work and it's outstanding, her marks marked by other lecturers have reflected this, this year this one lecturer is marking all our work and has been giving her extremely low marks when her work is constantly good. Lecturer also takes great pleasure in putting her down with scathing remarks and making her feel small when we have group lectures. Other lecturers have noticed and commented on it as well as other people on our course.
Friend is getting very upset about it, but is very shy and won't go and talk to someone about it because she is scared it will get back to lecturer and make things worse. Fair enough he doesn't like her but this is her degree and future he is messing around with. I want to say something but I'm unsure if I would be allowed to, would my friend get annoyed. I just feel so frustrated for her, she's talking of just giving up.

OP posts:
Gabilan · 08/03/2016 21:05

I honestly can't see a reason for it, she's hard working, polite and very nice

Those are the reasons. Bullies pick on decent people. And I agree with PP, she's either knocked him back, or he knows she would if he tried.

Clearoutre · 09/03/2016 20:11

Agree with PP re. departmental politics, the solution may be about damage limitation only.

Is he a very senior and influential academic within the department or faculty? He may be a piece of work but if he secures lots of research grants for the uni & keeps everyone's careers afloat then he may be allowed to do what he wants.

His behaviour is appalling but if he's that powerful I'd focus on trying to get previous work re-marked as they may be able to do this without engaging him and get your friend to do some sums & work out how much his low marks will affect her overall expected degree - can she still get what she's hoping for without good grades from the modules he marks or can she increase efforts elsewhere to make up for it? (I'm not saying this is at all fair on your friend - lecturers are there to support, inspire & teach not bully).

If you can't turn the juggernaut around may be schedule a chat with a sympathetic and savvy module tutor & say "I know I can't change his behaviour but I want a 1st / 2:1 etc, what would you do?"

My most radical approach would be to confront him - schedule a meeting and confront him on an academic level - it may even turn things around by showing she's passionate & knowledgeable about what he's teaching & earn his respect plus be a massive thing for anyone to achieve. (Wouldn't blame her if she's scared to do this though!!)

GinIsIn · 09/03/2016 20:35

This exact thing happened to me when I was a student. In the end, another student, who I barely even knew, jumped up in the middle of a seminar and shouted back on my behalf. I have no idea why she hated me so much or what it was I did, but I do know that the minute other students called her out on it, it got better, so I think start mentioning it to other students who share your lectures, and start retaliating! Good luck!

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