To not attend parents evening?

[chuffinalong]

Hi, my daughter has SEN's but is in her last year at a mainstream primary. She'll be attending a special secondary in September.
The last parents evening we had was with her new teacher who is newly qualified and new to the school. We left feeling totally deflated! She had nothing positive to say what so ever! Every parents evening we've had for our daughter has been wonderfully positive. There have been some "we need to work on's..." But they are productive and helpful in putting measures in place and sharing ideas etc. I felt that I had to bring up some positives, to which she just muttered "hmm" then turned it around to negaitive again. After we left, my husband said he's not going to another parents evening with her ever again.
I spoke to some other parents who all said the same, that there was nothing positive and felt it was a waste of time.
This time the parents evenings were split into 2 days, so some people have had their appointments all ready, and speaking to them, it seems things haven't improved.
Is it being unreasonable not to go this time? Or should I go and face the music on my own? It was such an uncomfortable experience the first time around, but I do need to discuss some issues regarding her personal care, that I really won't feel comfortable talking to her about in a hall full of people... Not sure what to do.

Good ideas, thank you.

I would ask if there was any positive comments and then if not I would say 'the fact that you have nothing positive to say about my child says far more about your teaching and communication skills than it does about my child as a pupil' (can you tell I have rehearsed that!)

Sorry your DD

YANBU

AMAZED that they have put an NQT in Y6, especially this year. The teacher must be in a ridiculous position and possibly at the point when you met her had not much of a clue and totally in at the deep end. (That said, the NQTs who I've come across have been almost relentlessly positive about everything). Hopefully the teacher will have got to grips with stuff now a couple of months have passed.

Go, with an open mind, but be prepared to lead the meeting.

I am not defending a teacher who can't find positives, but parents' evenings are terrifying for new teachers. This can come across as abrupt/defensive/disinterested etc until they find their confidence. So, if you do give her some feedback, please be gentle and model good practice by trying to find some positives about her teaching . It is easy to under estimate how absolutely soul destroying a parental complaint can be, especially at this time of year when NQTs are exhausted. (I do also see that a stream of negativity about your dd would also have been soul destroying).

I hope your dd really enjoys her specialist, more expert, provision next year.

Please tell the Head of your School why you're not coming in. And mention that other parents had the same complaint that you did about the evening.

The NQT needs to be told what is / isn't appropriate in a parent's consultation. The school needs to know!

Thanks everyone. No one has anything nice to say about this teacher to be honest, but my daughter has said "She looks at me with an honest face, so I think she is kind in her heart." (I kind of know what she means by that.)
She is very much a closed book and seems to want to you leave ASAP after drop off and pick up so it's hard to get to know her. I trust my daughter that she is a good person.

no op i wouldnt blame you for not going to this one.

its too personal for you and too upsetting no matter what excuses can be made for the teacher.

thats so sweet chuffing

Your DD sounds absolutely lovely . What a sweet thing to say.

Thanks everyone. I did go, and this time it was far more positive! (I was quite ready with all your advice in my head,) But thankfully it wasn't needed. She stuck very much to the academic side, not mentioning anything personal at all so it was a bit cold compared to all out other parents evenings, but at least she stayed positive. I wonder if someone's had a word?

Oh good! She probably has had some training as an NQT.

It would have been horrible to be left with a bad feeling after your final primary school parents' evening.