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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be scared

38 replies

TheoriginalLEM · 08/03/2016 12:20

OK, so people will say, but we have been on "severe" terror threat for ages, yawn yawn yawn. But I AM SCARED. Sitting here shaking :(

I don't even live in a major city - i do live near london but i wont go anymore. :(

I want to go to the national gallery, i want to go the science museum, i want to go to the theatre - but im too scared.

Something is afoot for it to be on the news and radio and adverts for what to do if you are caught in an attack. Jerermy smugface vine discussing whether we should stand and fight or run?

I bought children into this?? really???

OP posts:

ScarlettOHaraHamilton · 08/03/2016 13:58

Lem, you won't recognise me as I've nc recently but I've been on other threads of yours recently.

i genuinely think my anxiety is justified. It's not. It's really not. The idea of a possible terrorist attack is of course disturbing and yes, many people have a background concern about this.

However, shaking at home and worrying about bringing children into 'this world' is not a standard level of anxiety - it is anxiety out of control.

We're all strangers online I know, and I doubt any of us are medical professionals, but please believe us when we say that this level of anxiety and fear is not justified, and you really should consider going back to your GP or therapist.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 08/03/2016 14:01

LEM
Your anxiety has clearly flared up badly and you are looking for something to justify your feelings - a hook to hang your anxiety on. If it wasn't the terror threat, it would be something else.

Do you have some breathing exercises or similar that help you reduce your anxiety down to a more managable level. Keep posting here if it helps too.

Perhaps one of these to slow your breathing down?

imgur.com/gallery/Xhhuejh

Would going out for a walk or a run help?

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 08/03/2016 14:02

Yanbu.

I'm scared too.

I am doing things I would normally do though, and it doesn't stop me going around London.

Yanbu though. Don't let you people make you feel silly about it. It's a real concern.

JanetOfTheApes · 08/03/2016 14:03

Can I point out the obvious - that OP isn't choosing to feel like this?

We know that! But it is a choice to listen to people telling you that your anxiety is not proportional, or reasonable. And it is a choice to seek help or not.

AdrenalineFudge · 08/03/2016 14:26

I do think you need to go back to your GP for a further referral. Everyone experiences anxiety to some degree but going from your threads I agree with Roussette that your level of anxiety is on the extreme end of the spectrum.

Roussette · 08/03/2016 14:29

LEM Please read maid's facts and figures and draw some comfort from that.

slug · 08/03/2016 15:02

You are actually safer now than at any time in history

HackerFucker22 · 08/03/2016 15:08

I live and work in zone 1.

I have 2 young children and like the poster before me I haven't really changed my behaviour. I've been bought up to be vigilant and ask questions about unattended luggage etc (can you believe some fucker left a massive backpack on the platform whilst going to the toilet just a month after 7/7).

I've been bought up with a certain level of 'fear' I suppose.

I am able to walk to work now but I did spend a decade commuting - including the day after 7/7.

I don't take the kids into the main tourist areas often due to the tourists not the terror threat

allegretto · 08/03/2016 15:20

I feel the same as you OP and I know logically that the risk to myself is not that great but I'm not just worried about myself but about everyone else! However when I can see things clearly I know I am overreacting. Anxiety really is horrible, it is affecting just about every aspect of my life atm and I have no idea what I can do about it.

TimeIhadaNameChange · 08/03/2016 15:37

I know how you feel, and was feeling the same.

I grew up in London during the IRA operation and it was just a part of life. Can't remember the number of times Mum and I tried going to the zoo and was stopped by a bomb or suspect package. We'd just roll our eyes and go back home.

I was down there at 7/7 and had to take the tube about two days later. I wasn't happy, but got on with it and actually found people were far more friendly than usual.

The last few years, though, my anxiety's increased. I no longer live anywhere near there but do go down a few times a year. I was petrified at Christmas - I was going down and was conviced I'd end up being caught in something. I was stressing about not having written a will, but then couldn't bring myself to do so as that seemed to be acknowledging my fear. I was in a right state.

And yet, when I got there the fear vanished. I couldn't believe an attack was going to happen, and being there in the real London (rather than the attacked London of my nightmares) really helped.

I also flew to the continent a couple of weeks ago, something I really thought I'd not be able to bring myself to do again, and it was fine. I was far less stressed about the flights than I have been for many years (I don't have a fear of flying, just a fear of terrorists blowing the plane up).

Feel the fear and do it anyway, as Susan Jeffers said. You'll feel far better for it.

FrenchToast45 · 08/03/2016 16:05

I live close to a major city and avoided the shopping centres for a while due to this, but now I just try and get on with it. We have no control what happens. So go out and enjoy yourself!

oliviaclottedcream · 08/03/2016 17:05

My 2 DD's and I have lived in London all of our lives. Of course I fear a terrorist attack. Of course we try to be careful, but there's no way we're going to change the way we live, hide ourselves away or give any would- be murdering fucker any sense of victory.

Not saying you should too, (person scared of sending kids here), just saying, life has to go on, enjoy it..

AnnieOnnieMouse · 08/03/2016 20:24

Try thinking of it this way: The purpose of a terrorist isn't to kill you, his purpose is to make you afraid to live your life as normal. If you give in to the fears, then the terrorist has won.
I was in the centre of London on Saturday, as was ds, and didn't give it a thought. I do remember spending frantic hours on the phone before finding out my mum was safe in the Ideal Home Exhibition bombing in the 70s. I have lived near a large installation that was a likely bomb target, and got used to evacuations and road closures - maybe that's why I'm not too frazzled by it; I got used to it as part of everyday life.
Look at the fear, own it, and go out and do stuff anyway; it will get easier.
I'm far more afraid of the Tories - they are killing more people in the UK than any terrorists.

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